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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2014 23:10:54 GMT 8
Sleeping with someone I shouldn't have It' sokaiya now, we talked and is cool It happens, hope you used protection, lots of bad stuff can come from nice healthy looking people. Auntie Shan doesn't mean to sound as if she's talking down to you hon, sorry if it seems so!
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Post by Ayla on Dec 14, 2014 3:08:52 GMT 8
In the middle of what had been a pretty darn good day I saw my wife looking at me with a sad look on her face. I asked why. She said that it was my boobs. I said that they were not much different to many males with gyno but she said that she knew this wasn't the result of gyno and she saw me with my shirt off.
I then said that I won't have another breast reduction and I said that I will be continuing my hrt. It is not as if we have been physically intimate with each other in recent times (and it was relatively infrequent pre hrt) so I am not sure why this is a major issue for her. I fear that this does not bode well for us ....
Safe travels
Aisla
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2014 7:10:47 GMT 8
In the middle of what had been a pretty darn good day I saw my wife looking at me with a sad look on her face. I asked why. She said that it was my boobs. I said that they were not much different to many males with gyno but she said that she knew this wasn't the result of gyno and she saw me with my shirt off. I then said that I won't have another breast reduction and I said that I will be continuing my hrt. It is not as if we have been physically intimate with each other in recent times (and it was relatively infrequent pre hrt) so I am not sure why this is a major issue for her. I fear that this does not bode well for us .... Safe travels Aisla Sighs. Why I don't take my shirt off. Still going strong here, but she knows there is the possibility I will not be able to hold this presentation. So I live for the day. I don't want to trigger you. She and I remain intimate. It's been slow and a long haul. I am sorry aisla. That must have hurt, but press on dear. My eldest daughter can't handle it either. They want the old.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2014 7:38:04 GMT 8
Sleeping with someone I shouldn't have It' sokaiya now, we talked and is cool It happens, hope you used protection, lots of bad stuff can come from nice healthy looking people. Auntie Shan doesn't mean to sound as if she's talking down to you hon, sorry if it seems so! I didn't because I'm a twat. I feel really really shit about the whole thing and it triggered my dysphoria like a mother bitch. Kind of hate myself right now.
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Post by Laura J on Dec 14, 2014 7:49:42 GMT 8
In the middle of what had been a pretty darn good day I saw my wife looking at me with a sad look on her face. I asked why. She said that it was my boobs. I said that they were not much different to many males with gyno but she said that she knew this wasn't the result of gyno and she saw me with my shirt off. I then said that I won't have another breast reduction and I said that I will be continuing my hrt. It is not as if we have been physically intimate with each other in recent times (and it was relatively infrequent pre hrt) so I am not sure why this is a major issue for her. I fear that this does not bode well for us .... Safe travels Aisla At the risk of my wife reading this, cuz i don't know if she checks on me here or not.? Oh crap.. My wife looks at me that way, and I'm not on hormones or anything, just that age and abusing my body has taken its toll.. I don't change clothes in front of her anymore, and have become very private.. To me its a matter of "damage control" trying to keep whatever image that's not unpleasant to her, and try to keep me from feeling like a looser.. We haven't been intimate for years, but even when we were, I made sure it was dark and such.. Now with my liver problems and my blood not being right, I can't get sexually in gear anymore, and have faced the fact I'll probably never have sex again for the rest of my life.. But life goes on, there's too much to do to curl up and die, so I make the best of it, put on face #989 for the rest of the world, and get on with things.. I can't make my wife see me any different than I am.? I can only try my best despite my imperfections and failings.. That's all we can do.. Love & hugs
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2014 7:56:17 GMT 8
When a spouse sees her husband dressing en femme, their body changing from using feminizing hormones, they suddenly sense that the husband has stepped over that invisible line into her private female world and taken on her mantel, it affects them as if they surely just got a stake in the heart and their instincts tell them that their husband as she knew him is gone forever. There are few women who can endure and weather through it. I sense the impending end of a few marriages as I see you going through these throes, I'm sorry because I care so much for you both, but it is what it is and I'm here for you regardless because I know how obviously driven you are, we know that it isn't going to go away no matter how hard we will it. You may dislike me for being so blunt, but I've been around for a good long time and am privy to the dynamics of these things.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2014 7:59:10 GMT 8
It happens, hope you used protection, lots of bad stuff can come from nice healthy looking people. Auntie Shan doesn't mean to sound as if she's talking down to you hon, sorry if it seems so! I didn't because I'm a twat. I feel really really shit about the whole thing and it triggered my dysphoria like a mother bitch. Kind of hate myself right now. Don't beat up on yourself honey you are only human, give it a few months and get tested and paste a sticky note in your brain so that it doesn't happen exactly like that again. Sex is great, but it shouldn't be scary.
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Post by Laura J on Dec 14, 2014 9:05:12 GMT 8
It happens, hope you used protection, lots of bad stuff can come from nice healthy looking people. Auntie Shan doesn't mean to sound as if she's talking down to you hon, sorry if it seems so! I didn't because I'm a twat. I feel really really shit about the whole thing and it triggered my dysphoria like a mother bitch. Kind of hate myself right now. Sooo wishing you well.. Hold on.. Hugss.. <3
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2014 11:36:54 GMT 8
When a spouse sees her husband dressing en femme, their body changing from using feminizing hormones, they suddenly sense that the husband has stepped over that invisible line into her private female world and taken on her mantel, it affects them as if they surely just got a stake in the heart and their instincts tell them that their husband as she knew him is gone forever. There are few women who can endure and weather through it. I sense the impending end of a few marriages as I see you going through these throes, I'm sorry because I care so much for you both, but it is what it is and I'm here for you regardless because I know how obviously driven you are, we know that it isn't going to go away no matter how hard we will it. You may dislike me for being so blunt, but I've been around for a good long time and am privy to the dynamics of these things. And thank God you are. My last two years of therapy have centered on transitioning and keeping the family. My wife and I are exceptionally close, we do everything together. Little by little I change. Her acceptance keeps pace with it. I sacrifice...how long I can remains forrtime to tell. This morning I was in a thin opened shirt and a smoking hot pink cami and tappant set. I flipped her on top of me and in about five minutes had at least five full female orgasms, she flowed with it, enjoyed Satinjoys passion for her, my Sh'e unleashed I have hope. And even if I fully present, I may get to keep her. I know her comfort place, and my discomfort place. I am hopeful God will pull us through, leaning hard on you and everyone's support. Time will tell, I feel very fortunate. Heavy shrink involvement, god, lots of love, boundaries, and living daily like it's my last, to the max. My heart goes out to all of us. And she knows DES trans is probably progressive, with full transition the odds. We are resigned to that, she says she won't leave. That leaves me with the responsibility to meett her needs too. Blessings dears. Hope we all make it together, dysphoria is a bitch. Trinity Satinjoy
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Post by Donna Troy on Dec 14, 2014 13:11:59 GMT 8
My ps4 was acting up earlier and now i'm having problems watching the WWE network.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2014 13:30:30 GMT 8
It happens, hope you used protection, lots of bad stuff can come from nice healthy looking people. Auntie Shan doesn't mean to sound as if she's talking down to you hon, sorry if it seems so! I didn't because I'm a twat. I feel really really shit about the whole thing and it triggered my dysphoria like a mother bitch. Kind of hate myself right now. Well Dreadful Faery. I've been there too. Don't hate yourself. I've done the walk of shame and Ive done the walk like a peackock. When it comes to gender I would rather do the walk of shame. But that is all subjective though. FTM strut your stuff please and MTF still srut yourstuff, Hey I won't make any excuses or apologies. They enjoyed it and I did too. Auntie Shan is right though. Protection is the best policy.
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Post by EchelonHunt on Dec 14, 2014 14:05:14 GMT 8
Dreadful Faery, I understand your plight. I didn't have sex, but I agreed to sexual activity when I wasn't ready. It left me feeling dirty and spiked my body dysphoria something chronic. I put it down in my experiences log and took something good from the negative experience so it doesn't repeat itself again.
Try not to hate yourself, after all, we are only human. We aren't perfect even if we hold ourselves to high standards. *huggles*
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Post by Ayla on Dec 14, 2014 15:33:34 GMT 8
When a spouse sees her husband dressing en femme, their body changing from using feminizing hormones, they suddenly sense that the husband has stepped over that invisible line into her private female world and taken on her mantel, it affects them as if they surely just got a stake in the heart and their instincts tell them that their husband as she knew him is gone forever. There are few women who can endure and weather through it. I sense the impending end of a few marriages as I see you going through these throes, I'm sorry because I care so much for you both, but it is what it is and I'm here for you regardless because I know how obviously driven you are, we know that it isn't going to go away no matter how hard we will it. You may dislike me for being so blunt, but I've been around for a good long time and am privy to the dynamics of these things. Shan You are right, most women can't handle this from a binary partner. In such a case the path and outcome are fairly clear. However in this case she knows that I am non binary, that I have no interest in presenting female, that the only reason I take low dose hrt is to kill the dysphoria and that I have only moved towards an androgynous presentation, with a long way to go. Some breast build up and different fat deposits shouldn't really concern her imo, but she says that she fears and perhaps senses that I will at some stage pursue a binary transition. Not sure what else I can do to assure that is not my intent and that this will not happen. We spoke again today about this and she said that she reiterated that she has drawn a line in the sand for herself of Oct 2015 at which time she will need to make a call to stay or to separate for either her, for my or for our mutual benefit She and I had a very good day together. We both said that we were great partners for each other, but ... Safe travels Aisla
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2014 18:48:35 GMT 8
Perhaps a session with both of you in therapy?
Though I imagine you have done that.
Just a thought dear.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2014 21:25:09 GMT 8
It wasn't even enjoyable though. It just hurt.
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