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Post by Deleted on Jan 12, 2015 22:27:41 GMT 8
My therapist claimed that Brassard only ever had one patient have a complication of any sort. Though she never explained further, I have a reasonable guess - there was a patient years ago, when Menard was still part of the practice, who had a life-threatening complication from SRS (colon perforation.) There are plenty of others who had complications and needed follow-up care, but my therapist didn't see that and insisted they didn't exist. I get a lot of remarks about "the packet from Brassard lists the risks." The trouble is when you've dealt with a therapist who has already taken the time to convince you that the risks are no loner real - that they only ever happened with surgeons and techniques common before around 2000, etc. Further, I didn't receive my surgery packet from Brassard's office until after nine weeks before my surgery date, which was the deadline to send the final payment and to cancel and not lose $10,000 USD. The check had been sent by the time I received that information. I had pestered Suzanne via e-mail about the packet every couple weeks from November to February, but it was still March before I received it. This is big business and they protect one another! I'm sorry that you had a negative experience, are you OK now and is everything working properly? I know that you're beyond the point of no return as it's a done deal by now, do you think you can finally be happy?
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Post by DCW on Jan 13, 2015 9:22:18 GMT 8
I don't see a way to be happy with this; I see it as a mutilation of my body.
This morning someone who I'd considered to be my best friend admitted that she is a HBSer and, during that time, supported what my endos and therapist did. She opposes being fully transitioned and not having SRS, and used my trust in her as my friend to influence my choice.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 13, 2015 9:29:26 GMT 8
I don't see a way to be happy with this; I see it as a mutilation of my body. This morning someone who I'd considered to be my best friend admitted that she is a HBSer and, during that time, supported what my endos and therapist did. She opposes being fully transitioned and not having SRS, and used my trust in her as my friend to influence my choice. I'm sorry hon! That was one of the questions I had for Bowers at my pre-op consultation, her response was, "There are no guarantees" which was one of the reasons I opted out.
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Post by DCW on Jan 13, 2015 10:31:09 GMT 8
I never had a pre-surgery consultation for financial reasons.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 13, 2015 10:41:44 GMT 8
I never had a pre-surgery consultation for financial reasons. That's unfortunate, because you should have been afforded that and so you were taken for granted and also taken advantage of believing with child-like faith that all would be just fine. I was about to do the same and because I never ask enough of the right questions I brought my spouse Laura with me. She and Bowers had an amicable conversation and Laura asked her that question for me as I was so star struck just thinking I was about to be transformed that I didn't have the sense to think it through or even consider what questions I should ask. Laura stumped Dr. Bowers on a couple of questions that she hadn't expected and was unable to answer. It helped me to make my decision against SRS along with a few other mitigating factors.
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Post by DCW on Jan 13, 2015 10:47:22 GMT 8
It wasn't so much "child-like faith" as it was having been broken by the years of pressure, claims, etc. from endocrinologists and therapist. The reality is that the consultation sufficiently in advance wasn't affordable - I wanted to do it but my wife's edict was that I could only cancel before any deadline that meant money not being refunded. That was half of why I went through with it even though I had serious doubts beginning four weeks before my surgery date (the other half was that I knew I would lose access to HRT if I canceled.) Those two factors meant that, once I had it scheduled and the final payment was sent, I'd not cancel for any reason - I didn't feel that I had a viable option other than going through with SRS.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 13, 2015 22:37:05 GMT 8
It wasn't so much "child-like faith" as it was having been broken by the years of pressure, claims, etc. from endocrinologists and therapist. The reality is that the consultation sufficiently in advance wasn't affordable - I wanted to do it but my wife's edict was that I could only cancel before any deadline that meant money not being refunded. That was half of why I went through with it even though I had serious doubts beginning four weeks before my surgery date (the other half was that I knew I would lose access to HRT if I canceled.) Those two factors meant that, once I had it scheduled and the final payment was sent, I'd not cancel for any reason - I didn't feel that I had a viable option other than going through with SRS. That really sucks hon, it took me a long time to learn to go with my gut feelings which is probably one of those early mankind skills most overlooked in modern times. That's why I asked my wife to go with me, knowing that she wasn't too hot on the idea of me having SRS, I knew she'd ask a lot of questions and throw up some objections that I was feeling inside, but not admitting to. We had a long discussion afterwards where I finally conceded that she was right and besides I had no desire to have some man huffing, puffing and sweating all over me ever anyway and realizing that no-one would ever see the little thing in my crotch, it wasn't a hard decision for me to just opt out. Btw - I think your interest in working with wool is fascinating, I remember conversing via pm with Liam on the other site about it too.
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Post by EchelonHunt on Jan 13, 2015 23:46:08 GMT 8
DCW, have you mourned the loss? You went through a horrible experience Aside from educating others about your experiences, have you allowed yourself to properly grieve...? If I am being too personal, please let me know.
It was mentioned on Youtube, a transguy was suggested by a therapist if he mourned the loss of the biological penis. Despite how advanced today's FTM bottom surgeries are, it isn't exactly the same as having a biological penis. It clicked for the transguy in his head, he said that he had never mourned the loss of the penis he wished he could of had when he was born. He mourned the loss and it helped him overcome his bottom dysphoria, he uses packers and STP without getting dragged down into the dysphoria pit.
I know what you're experiencing is not dysphoria though but I feel perhaps grieving the loss may help you in the long run...?
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