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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2015 2:12:20 GMT 8
Hi, Folks! Here’s a link to an article that Aisla provided on the News Station: everydayfeminism.com/2015/06/these-5-myths-about-body-dysphoria-in-trans-folks-are-super-common-but-also-super-wrong/?utm_source=SocialWarfare&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=SocialWarfare%C2%A0This article uses a term “social dysphoria”, which is one I’d never heard of or used myself. This is how the writer of this article puts it: “Some experience social dysphoria, which is a discomfort with how they’re perceived and misgendered within society.” I might extend the notion a bit to say that social dysphoria is what you feel when you’re not living your life the way you need to, or when you’re running into hostility or opposition or some sort of barrier when you’re trying to do that. This is a concept I’d never thought about before. Body dysphoria, yes. But not social dysphoria. Now that I’ve thought about it, it’s hard for me to say which I’ve felt more keenly all my life. I myself can’t de-link the two. After all, one reason I feel social dysphoria is that I spent most of my life living the wrong way, but that was because of my body: because I had the wrong sort, people challenged my right to live as I please. I think all in all, I’ve probably felt social dysphoria somewhat more keenly; and I think it’s also true to say that now that I’m living as I need to live, now that my social dysphoria is greatly reduced, my body dysphoria is also somewhat reduced. I say my social dysphoria is greatly reduced, but it’s not gone altogether. I’m one of the lucky ones: in my town I rarely get challenged about the way I live. I have quite a few girlfriends who accept me as one of them. Nonetheless, I often feel a divide between them and me—again because of my body. Because mine isn’t like theirs, our lives, our “social histories” have been very different. So for me, body and social dysphoria are inter-related. It might not be that way for everybody, though. Our experiences vary a lot.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2015 3:45:38 GMT 8
Body dysphoria sux. But it will always be there possibly. For some HRT will quell it. For others, SRS will quell it and for other's still it will not be silenced. For me HRT won't do much because I have small tits and higher E levels than most men. SRS? I don't think so. I kind of like the little thing. Even though it don't work it still feels good. I don't really want to go into all this but.... No complaints yet. Other than those that thought and then I tell them. Their freakin' loss though. Not mine. Social Dysphoria. Screw society. I know it is hard for some to do but if you can move to a more transfriendly place. There are plenty that are way cheaper than Cali or NYC. Trinidad Co. is one. That my friends is what was in the early nineties called "Tranny Town". I bet there are quite a few of these places all over the world. I read about it in GQ magazine. Supposed to be Gentleman's Quarterly but wonder how far it goes toward Gender Queer? Even in the early 90's they had some bad ass male models. OK now I'm just getting dirty. But I have been through Trinidad Co. several times and with one truckstop. Oh yeah. You could tell especially being that way yourself. It does seem that is one of the Truckstops that I could get out as me and feel welcomed. BTW it was always full so.... I wasn't the only one that read the article.
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Post by Gab on Oct 6, 2015 5:57:13 GMT 8
I've had strong social dysphoria all my life, and it just gets stronger. Body dysphoria shows up once in a while, but it's easier to deal with.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2015 9:10:29 GMT 8
It gets beter. Once i had accepted the truth of who i am...as a whole person...it eased. The hormones and drugs transitioning to me...in that nonbinary complexity, freed me up.
Dysphoria really hurts, i remember when social dysphoria was also accute.
That has changed over time but i needed a lot of help.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 27, 2015 6:55:57 GMT 8
This may be a little older thread but I just have something to say. Social dysphoria. Screw society and what society thinks of me or how society views me. I hate society. I hate societal norms and why should we or anyone else worry about what or how society views us. Fuck 'em. Sorry for the rude French. Social Dysphoria? No I don't have it. I could care less about societal norms. Maybe society should be worried about themselves. I have new hair and went driving around and more guys looked at me and flirted. They thought they saw a woman and found that woman attractive so it seems. Even had one at a red light give me his number. No makeup or going out of my way to appear feminine and just my normal hair. I called him and used my sweetest voice and told him I was trans and he said sorry but he wasn't into that. Even respectfully. Really? OK so we are not everyone's cup of tea but to some we are like elixir from the gods. The best of both worlds. Something that we can hide but something extra that they really like. Maybe they should be more worried about themselves in normal society when they see a trans person and can't tell the difference. Maybe they should be worried when they are attracted to that trans person and refuse to accept that they actually can tell the difference until called upon it. And God Bless those that can't or can tell the difference and respect and are attracted to us enough not to give a crap what society thinks or anyone else thinks. I have been all over the US and have been in different countries around the world. Sometimes we are accepted, sometimes we are politely declined, sometimes we are actually in danger. A lot of times people just don't give a fuck. We are just someone else like everyone else. That is why I don't mind where I live right now. I don't care for it but the acceptance makes it bearable. Social dysphoria a lot of times is from our own doing. I have been called ma'am more times since I changed my hairstyle. Even dressed in guy clothes with just the slightest bit of eye shadow and mascara on. Even without the tiny bit of makeup I am called ma'am. Jesus Christ, If I wear shorts and a tank, even a looser tank I have been called Ma'am more than sir. When I do wear the looser tanks though, well shit. Maybe I should wear a bra. I think that maybe society sees what it wants to see. I have seen women that look more like guys but the hair and the clothing give it away. I am dressing more girly and have a more feminine hairstyle and am getting "misgendered" which is fine by me. They can't really tell by my voice anyway. Legs just reinforce their curiosity. It ain't like I'm really manly anyway. Than Gawd. But seriously I am so freakin' tire of hiding. I am so freakin' tired of faking. If someone decides they want to kill me because I'm a trans woman, then so be it. It is a good cause to die from. It may bring some revelation to society. If I am beat up because of my status then so be it too. I guarantee there will have to be more than me and someone else and maybe more than three. A Taser will mess enough people up for me to get away. I will stick to my guns though. Society sucks. It seems that society wants to suck as long as their friends, family and aquaintances don't know about it. How cis male many fans do certain porn stars have. Of all ages. I can think of a few. Bailey, Bruna, Beatrice, Amy, Duda and a lot of others. Don't let 'em fool ya'. It ain;t us that have social dysphoria. We have gender Identification Dysphoria. It is the rest of society that has social dysphoria. I may have a slight case of GID but I have no Social Dysphoria at all because society actually disgusts me. OK so I am only 5'9" I can wear a women's 9 -91/2 and sometimes 10 shoe size. I have dated cis women that wore bigger shoe sizes than I did. I dated cis women that I could wear their clothes. Not undies though because that is nasty. I had my own. Shit closet lesbians some of them. Let me paint you nails please. Then it was let me put some makeup and see. Wow I got a nighty I would really like to see if it fits you. Then it was like grab my hair and pull the lesbian tounge deeper inside. Of course my shit didn't work but they still liked it. But they got off. One chased me into the arms of an older man because I really enjoyed the feminine aspects. So a lipstick lesbian made me realize that I loved the feminine at 18. But it was always there. OMG I was being a girl at 13 in secret. That is really fucked up. Hell who knows? I may be fucked up mentally. I don't think so though. No more than anyone else. So we talk about this dysphoria which really sux. It sux and hurts. But what about the Euphoria? When I dress in a teddy and my lover can't even talk. When I dress as slutty as I can just for him with the garter belt and hosiery with stilettos and a black laced bra and he can't even speak but..... Well I won't go into that. But a tree stump starts to grow. That tells me he don't give a shit about society and societal norms either. That both of us with our disdain for societal norms makes us one more than something else. Some may have social dysphoria. But I could care less about society. Society is not my thing and would rather remain outside societal confines. Society is a prison. It is extremely limited and I am not. I am unlimited. I love who I want and who is ever brave enough to love me has earned my respect. My love will come later. It has before and I lost it. It will again and I will welcome it and I may lose it again. But love is good when it is there. When it goes or fear kicks for me it was best to run. Now love though will be considered and thought about and contemplated whether or not it will be forever. Sir me, Ma'am me. I could care less. How my lover treats me is everything to me. Hold me and stroke my hair and kiss me softly and tell me that everything will be OK is everything to me. If someone fucks with me while we are out then protect me. We may both die but we will die together and he with Chivalry in his heart and let me hold his hand with love in mine before we both take our last breaths. That is all I can ask of Heaven. I want to be cherished. I want to be loved. I just want to be someones' whole world like they would be mine. Other than that, society can kiss my ass. So Social Dysphoria. I will not give society the satisfaction of making me feel inferior.
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Post by Mingma on Oct 27, 2015 9:03:48 GMT 8
Can social dysphoria be described as identifying in a social context outside of your birth gender? I think that for it to have meaning it must. I have always loved color fashion and flowing fabric. I cry during sappy films, and I would rather play with children and puppies than - well than most anything. It has always set me apart from, and effectively isolated me even more than the depression of having a body that was intolerable.
I get that discarding social norms is liberating, but I'm more a Bossa Nova chick than a rocker and when I can't relate to the world and the social fabric as myself, then I can't find rhythm and the notes seem flat. I think that we all want to be cherished and loved - protected even, but when how I see the world and myself is out of sync with what I expect ought to be the way things are, then it's all blues, all the time.
Ming
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Post by Deleted on Oct 27, 2015 11:58:11 GMT 8
Can social dysphoria be described as identifying in a social context outside of your birth gender? I think that for it to have meaning it must. I have always loved color fashion and flowing fabric. I cry during sappy films, and I would rather play with children and puppies than - well than most anything. It has always set me apart from, and effectively isolated me even more than the depression of having a body that was intolerable. I get that discarding social norms is liberating, but I'm more a Bossa Nova chick than a rocker and when I can't relate to the world and the social fabric as myself, then I can't find rhythm and the notes seem flat. I think that we all want to be cherished and loved - protected even, but when how I see the world and myself is out of sync with what I expect ought to be the way things are, then it's all blues, all the time. Ming Well Minga, you don't have to be a rocker chick or a chick at all or any kind of transgender or LGB in order tell society to kiss your ass. Fuck society. I stand outside of society. I proudly stand outside society. Society does not define me. I will define myself. Yeah it is scary. It is totally out of bounds for societal norms but screw society. Minga. Don't be scared of society and social norms. Be yourself. maybe instead of Bossa Nova listen to Buckcherry. Maybe some The Flaming Queens even.
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Post by Mingma on Oct 27, 2015 21:52:24 GMT 8
Well Minga, you don't have to be a rocker chick or a chick at all or any kind of transgender or LGB in order tell society to kiss your ass. Fuck society. I stand outside of society. I proudly stand outside society. Society does not define me. I will define myself. Yeah it is scary. It is totally out of bounds for societal norms but screw society. Minga. Don't be scared of society and social norms. Be yourself. maybe instead of Bossa Nova listen to Buckcherry. Maybe some The Flaming Queens even. Jamie, That's the thing isn't it. It isn't fear but a strong desire to feel a part of. To belong to the world in a way that for decades I only looked at longingly. That isn't to say that I accept it all, for me that would be both disingenuous and foolish. I admire those of you who can forge a path between gender identity and self acceptance. That is why I come back here, to be schooled in courage and independence. There is an astonishing amount of spirit represented on these pages and it is refreshing. All that said I don't reject all of society, nor do I try to pretend to be cis. My path is neither yours nor that of trans women who blend seamlessly into the larger world. Neither is possible given who I am and who I aspire to become. I think that is the essence of what we are calling social dysphoria. Reconciling that discomfort and all the rest of it into a coherent world view and life experience is the obscure path that I am searching for. Rock on love - you make the world a more interesting and a better place. Ming
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Post by Deleted on Oct 28, 2015 6:57:57 GMT 8
Well Minga, you don't have to be a rocker chick or a chick at all or any kind of transgender or LGB in order tell society to kiss your ass. Fuck society. I stand outside of society. I proudly stand outside society. Society does not define me. I will define myself. Yeah it is scary. It is totally out of bounds for societal norms but screw society. Minga. Don't be scared of society and social norms. Be yourself. maybe instead of Bossa Nova listen to Buckcherry. Maybe some The Flaming Queens even. Jamie, That's the thing isn't it. It isn't fear but a strong desire to feel a part of. To belong to the world in a way that for decades I only looked at longingly. That isn't to say that I accept it all, for me that would be both disingenuous and foolish. I admire those of you who can forge a path between gender identity and self acceptance. That is why I come back here, to be schooled in courage and independence. There is an astonishing amount of spirit represented on these pages and it is refreshing. All that said I don't reject all of society, nor do I try to pretend to be cis. My path is neither yours nor that of trans women who blend seamlessly into the larger world. Neither is possible given who I am and who I aspire to become. I think that is the essence of what we are calling social dysphoria. Reconciling that discomfort and all the rest of it into a coherent world view and life experience is the obscure path that I am searching for. Rock on love - you make the world a more interesting and a better place. Ming You are way too kind. But we do belong to certain aspects of society. There will be aspects that everyone will never belong too. Some do and some don't. I am trans so I belong to a special aspect of society. Some people are rich and belong in their own aspect. Some people are fat, some skinny. Some beautiful physically other not so much. Yeah I know it is a leap to assume but we all belong here. We belong in other places too. Everyone belongs and are accepted in different niches of society. Not one person that I know is accepted all across the spectrum of society. Not too long ago I took a trip back home and a cousin that I was really close to told me that I ended up being the prettiest girl in our immediate family. He said it jokingly because I am not out to them but it made me feel good. I thought he was being an ass and called him on it but he said he was serious. But you would have to see the girls in my family. Maybe I am lucky gene wise that I am Trans. Only you can define who you are. Society can only tell you who to be or who to love or what you are for so long until it becomes time to push back. I mean, I don't know how many times that society tried to define me and it never worked. BTW hon. I can't blend seemlessly into the larger world. There are steps that I can take to appear more feminine. But the turth is and will always be that I am trans. It is a curse and blessing. It is always good to see both sides at the same time instead of just one at a time. I won't lie. I do feel a sort of social dysphoria but I just push through the fear, the anxiety, the discomfort and so on. I'm pretty much an introvert that hides it really good sometimes and I am still an introvert but can fake my way in that too. Try being an introverted transgender. When I go out in shorts with my hairless legs my hairstyle and so on. Yes I have gynecomastia so... I pass really well as transgender. At 47 though. I just really don't care how others see me. I just want to be me. If it pisses someone off then so be it. If they do get pissed or hate me over that then they have bigger problems than I do. If I'm not mistaken that would make them more of a sociopath maybe.
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