No dysphoria? Do Not Take Hormones!

[Deleted]

My friend Matt: “Ok but really, serious talk. You can be under the trans umbrella and not have dysphoria. But if you actually start hormones and you don’t have dysphoria in the first place, you’re going to have even worse dysphoria post T, and any surgeries you may have. Like that’s the big reason why a lot of trans people de-transition. If you don’t have dysphoria, don’t start hormones. This isn’t even a case of my opinion, this is just pure medical fact.”

Me: I was irritable, easily agitated, constantly moody and anxious towards my moment of transition. Once I started HRT all of that balanced out. My body might have been able to process testosterone (since biologically I am not female), but my brain was starting to panic. As soon as I became Estrogen-dominant it all leveled out and I finally felt normal and sane. How can this not be evident that being transgender is a real condition? How can people completely deny the reality of this? If a cis man took Estrogen and Spiro he would start to feel exactly as I did before I started taking it. This, to me, is proof that our brains developed in the opposite direction of our bodies.

Matt: EXACTLY. It’s a very serious thing like. Lately my days of me getting more agitated are frequent as I lead up to my shots, and I’ve been feeling anxious/desperate as well. Seriously, dysphoria is no joke and it’s not something to even pretend to have or want. Don’t transition if you don’t have dysphoria; simple as that, because it’s mostly irreversible and you will never go back to normal.

[Leena]

I very rarely have dysphoria. I'm not planning on transitioning hormonally right now, though I know I'd need to if I get SRS. I'm still on the fence on this, and it's something I can't totally stop thinking about. I seem to be in the minority in that I don't really care that much about what HRT would do for me, as most of those effects can be achieved through other means. I could get permanent body and facial hair removal, FFS, and a breast implants without it. Maybe I will...

[Ayla]

VL

Just shows just how very different it is for each of us. All we can do is to develop an awareness, understanding and acceptance of who we are and then move forward. Low dose HRT is an essential part of my life. It is the only means that I have found which controls my dysphoria. Emotional and other benefits are a bonus!

Safe travels

Aisla

[Leena]

Sept 8, 2015 11:31:57 GMT 8 Ayla said:

VL

Just shows just how very different it is for each of us. All we can do is to develop an awareness, understanding and acceptance of who we are and then move forward. Low dose HRT is an essential part of my life. It is the only means that I have found which controls my dysphoria. Emotional and other benefits are a bonus!

Safe travels

Aisla

I don't entirely understand why it is I am rarely dysphoric. I think it stems from the way I looked at this as a young child. Although adults want to shield children from complicated things, children are often more capable at dealing with things than adults are. I wish I was able to share my internal way of dealing with it in a way so you and others were not dysphoric, though I'm not sure it's possible. The overall concept of being girl with a guy's body more than just doesn't bother me, and at a certain level, I've always thought it's a lot of fun. That some others think it's a bad thing, causes me more problems, taking HRT isn't going to change the way others think about trans people.

[Deleted]

Sept 8, 2015 14:11:01 GMT 8 Leena said:

Sept 8, 2015 11:31:57 GMT 8 Ayla said:

VL

Just shows just how very different it is for each of us. All we can do is to develop an awareness, understanding and acceptance of who we are and then move forward. Low dose HRT is an essential part of my life. It is the only means that I have found which controls my dysphoria. Emotional and other benefits are a bonus!

Safe travels

Aisla

I don't entirely understand why it is I am rarely dysphoric. I think it stems from the way I looked at this as a young child. Although adults want to shield children from complicated things, children are often more capable at dealing with things than adults are. I wish I was able to share my internal way of dealing with it in a way so you and others were not dysphoric, though I'm not sure it's possible. The overall concept of being girl with a guy's body more than just doesn't bother me, and at a certain level, I've always thought it's a lot of fun. That some others think it's a bad thing, causes me more problems, taking HRT isn't going to change the way others think about trans people.

Wow. Are we sisters Veronica? Maybe both adopted by different sets of parents? What you said eerily mirrors what I say and how I think. I had to learn this shit all by myself. Hell no gender therapists anywhere around my small town growing up. So I had to read books about Psychology.

Hell I dealt with it and came to terms with it myself. I experience very little GID. I do every now and then and it gets pretty bad but usually only lasts a day or two and then dissapates.

[Leena]

Learning about it by yourself also means learning about it without certain preconceived ideas that are prevalent and may be harmful. Even when I did try to hide it, people who really actually got to know me always saw right through it, and that never actually bothered me, though I might have protested because that was what was expected.

I'm very fortunate that I'm rarely dysphoric, most of the time what triggers it for me is perceiving transphobia in others, whether it may exist or not.

[EchelonHunt]

Oct 1, 2015 22:51:06 GMT 8 @star said:

Starting HRT was like coming home in my body MIND for the first time in my life

I can relate to this. Pre-HRT, I always saw myself inside my mind, the "mind" was an abyss with me within it inside a steel cage.

Even though I was stuck inside a cage, it was easy for me to dream up a fantasy world inside my mind where I was free to express myself.

Once HRT began, the steel bars began to rust and fall apart. There's no cage anymore, I'm still inside the abyss but I don't see this as a bad thing. Darkness can be a solace when there are no restraints keeping it contained.

I've lived in my mind for huge part of my life, just watching the world pass by, friends come and go It's still weird sometimes to feel as alive in reality now as I did in my fantasy world.

[Deleted]

Oct 1, 2015 13:15:51 GMT 8 Leena said:

Learning about it by yourself also means learning about it without certain preconceived ideas that are prevalent and may be harmful. Even when I did try to hide it, people who really actually got to know me always saw right through it, and that never actually bothered me, though I might have protested because that was what was expected.

I'm very fortunate that I'm rarely dysphoric, most of the time what triggers it for me is perceiving transphobia in others, whether it may exist or not.

Learning about yourself though has some really dangerous aspects to it. We have to face the monster that we have become without the luxury of a professional psychologist or psychiatrist. Not saying that we are monsters but we all have certain dark aspects of ourselves.

Yeah people always seemed to pick up on me too.

Yeah I too am rarely dysphoric. But transphobia don't bother me, they are just ignorant idiots. Homophobics don't bother me because they too are ignorant idiots. Ignorant idiots should be pitied and not hated. And never let them bring you down if you can.

[Deleted]

Oct 1, 2015 22:51:06 GMT 8 @star said:

Starting HRT was like coming home in my body MIND for the first time in my life

My body gave up and started to adapt to the way my mind works

Some people take SSRIs for depression and anxiety, but I take HRT. No psychological medication has had nearly the kind of success that Estrogen has on my brain. Plus, I hear people telling me all the time how I seem to smile so much easier now, and that I'm constantly just glowing. They see how perfectly it makes sense that this is who I truly am.