I'm either brave or insane- publicly outing myself

[Metamorph]

I live in a town of about 5,000 people. It might be up to 6,000. And I'm in a little housing development of about 500 people. This place still has it's logging routes but there are plenty of people who commute to the city. So it's a weird mix of redneck and liberal. My little housing development has it's own facebook page that has been surprisingly free of drama. So, I came out on that facebook page

One reason is that the only place I am consistently gendered as female is here in town. I'm tired of it. I think the gendering mostly happens because folks have always known me as female.  The other reason is that after being around the transgender group in the city I feel like I need to do my part to represent our community. So here is what I wrote...

"Dear friends and neighbors. I am going to share something personal below. Feel free to skip over this post if you are not interested. I am sharing this because it may make things less awkward if we bump into each other and because it may create opportunities for learning. I am not seeking anything in return.

During the past year I have been transitioning my gender. I know this is weird for a lot of people. I get it. It's weird for me. I had to get past my own judgments and stereotypes to do this. I had to get past my fear of what others would say.

This is not a whim. This is not about anything sexual. This is not about seeking out attention. It's about the fact I have never felt right in my female body. When I was 4 I finally realized I was not like the boys I played with and I bawled my eyes out. When I started school I was constantly getting in the boys line because that's where I felt I belonged. I began identifying as "tom boy" and correcting anyone who called me a girl. I really tried to accept my body and be a girl/woman. But I couldn't stand to look at myself in the mirror. I couldn't stand to have my pictures taken of me. The image I saw was not me.

After about 40 years of trying to be happy with my birth gender I accepted I could not. I learned that being transgender is a medical condition. It's real and not a choice. So, I am now living as the male I am. I have taken the steps I need to do to make this transition.

What does this mean to you? Not a lot, except that if we cross paths I will be responding to male pronouns instead of female. If you call me by female pronouns by mistake I will not get mad. I may gently correct you. There will be no judgement in my correction. I'm just letting you know that I'm a him. Other than that, I'm just the same person I've always been."

[Deleted]

Excellent post, you should be well received for your honesty and no doubt this will clear up a lot of questions that some may have that were afraid to ask you.

[Ayla]

Wow. What a great message. I am expecting that it will be very well received and I think that being recognised as the guy you have always been will be fantastic for you. Looking forward to learning how it goes. I agree that the more folk who get to know us as trans, the better it is for our community.

Safe travels

Aisla

[Deleted]

You've got guts sir. That took some balls to do, if the slang doesn't offend.

And when they say that on the street, you win for all of us.

Good for you dear.

[LaraTheOwl]

Im rooting for you! I salute your bravery!

[EchelonHunt]

Very brave indeed, it sounded like it was a necessity. Hopefully, the community will follow accordingly.

It would renew my faith in humanity if members of the community stood up for you when another member starts disregarding your identity and referring you with female pronouns, despite everyone else referring you with the correct pronouns.

[Deleted]

Hi, Metamorph! Well done! My experience is similar to yours. I live in a town of about 1600, and the day came when I absolutely had to come out of the closet. I was about to burst.

But what to do? In such a small town as soon as you set foot outside your front door, everybody's going to know about it. And once you're out, you're out. No going back in. So how to approach it?

I got an idea. Rather than suddenly appearing in public in all my glory, I decided to approach people I knew well and dealt with all the time--shopkeepers, librarians, post office clerks, etc.--to let them know what I was going to do. Give them advance notice so that it wouldn't come as a complete shock to them, and also give myself a chance to gauge people's reactions. If they were uniformly hostile, then I might have to come up with a plan B. To my utter astonishment, every single person I spoke to, without exception, was supportive and accepting. And to this day they've continued as such. Nobody I know personally has ever given me any hassle whatsoever. They've continued warm and friendly. The only hassle I've had is from some who don't know me personally.

Just to give you two examples of little things that show how the people of this town reacted to me. (1) Yesterday I was in the credit union, dealing with a particular woman, and I recalled something she'd done shortly after I came out. I was at her counter one day, and she had no choice but to actually say my name. This was before I'd changed it, so she was going to have to use my current one. Realizing that it might be an embarrassment to me, she pronounced it so low, almost in a whisper, that I could barely hear it myself. She made sure nobody else in the place heard it. Would you call that awareness and sensitivity or what?

(2) I was in the supermarket one morning and really needed to pee. I mean this was a red-light emergency. So I asked one of the (female) employees if I could use the staff loo. She said, "You can of course. Second door on the right." So I went back and as I expected I found that the second door on the right was the ladies'. The gents' was the first on the right. Now she didn't have to say anything at all. She could have just let me take my choice. But it was as if she was going out of her way to say, "You're one of us now."

I've had all sorts of experiences like these two in this town. Amazing place. If it isn't the most trans-friendly town in the world, I'd like to visit the one that is. Yes, there are certain rotters I have to stay away from. And it's for sure that I stay out of town after dark when the lads are getting drunk. But normal people here are fantastic.

[Deleted]

Both those women deserve an applause for their sensitivity, it's as it should be!