Possible evidence that I'm XXY

[Deleted]

I have the high digit ratio where index and ring fingers are the same length (so, definitely less testosterone during development); I’ve never had much body hair, and it’s never been thick or dark; my facial hair has always been very weak and patchy; I have long arms and legs; my hips have always been rather wide (an ex of mine used to tease me about it); I was always a very emotionally sensitive kid; and I have an Autism Spectrum Disorder which often tags along with intersex conditions.


(I have blocked speech, Asperger's, ADHD, and terrible working memory)

Another potential side effect of being intersex or Klinefelter’s is infertility. There were various times where I did have sex, and a few of those times were unprotected, and no kids happened. I could see how just one incident would be lucky, but two or three? Well, if I was fertile, I’m not anymore.


(I had a tantrum problem early on)

HRT has also worked really well for me regarding T levels which were easily and successfully suppressed with only Spironolactone (a weak anti-androgen) and Estrogen. The only things (besides genitals) that are "masculine" features are my receding hairline and Adam’s Apple.

Luckily, HRT (with recently added Finasteride) has caused some temple hair regrowth when I’ve read so many things about how that’s impossible. It’s coming in slowly, though, and I doubt I will see full regrowth for a perfect hairline. I really hope I can hide that with a hairstyle and not have to resort to a wig. I would prefer a shorter cut, or a “queer cut”. Long hair is Plan B. Wig is Plan C.

It would be interesting to get this tested. If the results said I didn’t have at least a mild XXY chromosome condition I would be very surprised. I think that kind of test is very expensive, though, and I doubt Medicaid would cover it. I’ll have to look it up.

[Ativan Prescribed]

The only way to know for sure, but even then, many who are XXY show none of those traits.
There are many different things that factor into who you are.
I grew up as someone who straddled the line of masculine and feminine, and as a product of the fifties through pretty much the seventies, I strove to force myself to be as masculine as possible and succeeded to a large extent by others view of me. But my self never accepted that and once I accepted that I never would, I've not relearned the walk and talk I was born with, but rather feel it instead. Low dose opened up the feelings and do to a large extent now experience myself as the familiar way I did growing up and have stopped the ridiculous idea (for myself) of the pursuit of masculinity. Had I known about and was able to find HRT even in my 30's, I most likely would have pursued them aggressively. I have no idea if my NB thinking would have changed, the low dose does nothing much really but allow me to feel less disjointed about my gender, it calms the dysphoria and gives me a chance to experience myself as I have learned to be, to accept myself. A lot of life's experiences have shaped who I am as well as the likelihood that I was simply a product of how I was born. But I have no idea what any of the specifics of that are, could be a lot of things. I just accept that I am who I am, and don't consider what could have been, but rather just consider who I've become over all this time.
But sure, that is as much a distinct possibility, just as the effects of DES have on many people from their fifties on up. They could very well be a product of both.
I think what really matters, rather than proof, is who you are and your feelings of self. Nothing is likely to ever change that from what I have heard from so many different people.
That you tell me and others how you honestly feel as self is all the proof I need, and all the proof they should need. Acceptance is more precious than even a scientific proof, you are who you are and that should be good enough for anyone.

[Deleted]

Yes, Ativan spot on.

Rogaine can help hair, but patience.

As to the hormones, I think it's kind of a rollercoaster ride till levels stabilize of all brain chems affected, as well as the transformation.revelation.transition acceptance until the body becomes fully ours again and we relax into it.

The feelings and journey unfolds like a scroll, enjoy the read, the joy of finding the core of you.

[Leena]

Aug 4, 2015 15:45:33 GMT 8 @illuminess said:

It would be interesting to get this tested. If the results said I didn’t have at least a mild XXY chromosome condition I would be very surprised. I think that kind of test is very expensive, though, and I doubt Medicaid would cover it. I’ll have to look it up.

I don't think it's possible to have a mild XXY chromosome condition. All of your chromosomes are the same. I wouldn't read too much into the digit ratio. Then again, I say this because mine is asymmetrical! My ring finger on one hand is longer than my index finger, and on one hand is shorter. What would the digit ratio people say about that? Is this physical proof that I'm non-binary, or did I just have an injury as a toddler that I don't remember that somehow stunted the growth of one of my fingers?

As for your hair, since you are wanting a shorter cut, have you considered doing an undercut look with it longer on the the top and combed forward, and short on the sides? Also, have you thought about a hair transplant? That is usually done by transplanting the hair in the back of your head to the top and front.

[Deleted]

Aug 5, 2015 13:21:49 GMT 8 Leena said:

Aug 4, 2015 15:45:33 GMT 8 @illuminess said:

It would be interesting to get this tested. If the results said I didn’t have at least a mild XXY chromosome condition I would be very surprised. I think that kind of test is very expensive, though, and I doubt Medicaid would cover it. I’ll have to look it up.

I don't think it's possible to have a mild XXY chromosome condition. All of your chromosomes are the same. I wouldn't read too much into the digit ratio. Then again, I say this because mine is asymmetrical! My ring finger on one hand is longer than my index finger, and on one hand is shorter. What would the digit ratio people say about that? Is this physical proof that I'm non-binary, or did I just have an injury as a toddler that I don't remember that somehow stunted the growth of one of my fingers?

As for your hair, since you are wanting a shorter cut, have you considered doing an undercut look with it longer on the the top and combed forward, and short on the sides? Also, have you thought about a hair transplant? That is usually done by transplanting the hair in the back of your head to the top and front.

Well, you all can say whatever, but I know what's up with me.

I don't really want an undercut, and I can't even afford electrolysis, much less a hair transplant.

[Leena]

Aug 5, 2015 13:54:39 GMT 8 @illuminess said:

Well, you all can say whatever, but I know what's up with me.

I don't really want an undercut, and I can't even afford electrolysis, much less a hair transplant.

The only way to know for sure that you are or are not XXY is to pay for the test. You may very well be XXY, or there may be some other physical reason you are the way you are. I don't think it's unusual to wonder about such things, it's possible, 

If you really want and need a hair transplant, or electrolysis as a long term option, it could be done, it's not brand new Ferrari expensive. It seems like you need to figure out how you can make more money. Everyone wants more, but that you are thinking these things are things you could never afford…I understand this, I've felt like this at times too, but if these are things you want, you need to figure out a way to work smarter, not necessarily harder, to achieve these things.

[Deleted]

Aug 5, 2015 14:29:58 GMT 8 Leena said:

Aug 5, 2015 13:54:39 GMT 8 @illuminess said:

Well, you all can say whatever, but I know what's up with me.

I don't really want an undercut, and I can't even afford electrolysis, much less a hair transplant.

The only way to know for sure that you are or are not XXY is to pay for the test. You may very well be XXY, or there may be some other physical reason you are the way you are. I don't think it's unusual to wonder about such things, it's possible, 

If you really want and need a hair transplant, or electrolysis as a long term option, it could be done, it's not brand new Ferrari expensive. It seems like you need to figure out how you can make more money. Everyone wants more, but that you are thinking these things are things you could never afford…I understand this, I've felt like this at times too, but if these are things you want, you need to figure out a way to work smarter, not necessarily harder, to achieve these things.

I live on disability right now, or SSI. That's $733 a month. $200 of it goes towards rent. More of it goes to bills. I might have like $300 left over for the rest of the month which I use to enjoy my life the best that I can with what I have. I don't have a car, so I can't go places, and I can never get rides to anything, either. I want to go see a concert tomorrow night that I have a ticket for, but nobody wants to go. Taking Uber would cost me around $70-80 there and back, and I can't afford that.

I try to make money doing things like tarot readings and photo shoots, but meh. I need to finish my book so that maybe I can start making money from that. I'm also co-writing a sitcom that I hope will be finished and ready for casting and filming by the end of next year. Right now, I'm just kind of screwed.

[Leena]

Aug 5, 2015 14:37:25 GMT 8 @illuminess said:

I try to make money doing things like tarot readings and photo shoots, but meh. I need to finish my book so that maybe I can start making money from that. I'm also co-writing a sitcom that I hope will be finished and ready for casting and filming by the end of next year. Right now, I'm just kind of screwed.

I'm sorry I was so judgmental towards you. The asymmetrical digit ratio thing kind of freaks me out when I think about it, in part because it's not the only thing that's asymmetrical about my body. I really should't post when I'm freaked out like that.

[Leena]

Aug 4, 2015 15:45:33 GMT 8 @illuminess said:

 If the results said I didn’t have at least a mild XXY chromosome condition I would be very surprised. 

I also want to add that I was looking at another board, and I found out I was totally wrong about what I said about it not being possible. It's called Mosaic Klinefelter's or 46/47 XY/XXY mosaic. You might already know these terms, or might not. I didn't, I feel like an idiot now.

[EchelonHunt]

My non-binary therapist and I thought I had CAH, I was convinced I had some form of intersex condition, I believed it strongly too.

When I got the test done, I found that I didn't have any intersex condition, not even a mild one. In terms of chromosomes, I am 100% biologically female, I just so happened to be born with an enlarged clitoris.

The problem I found was I put too much of my self-worth and importance into labels and conditions when those things don't define me. I am deaf, suffered from depression, am transgender, non-binary, asexual - do these things define me as a person? Only a part of me, never as a whole.