Anti Caitlyn Facebook likes/comments and family

[LivingTheDream]

I have been seeing a lot of anti trans/ Caitlyn type posts (likes and comments even) on my facebook page since she came out and I guess am just kinda looking for any advice and such on what to do about it? Here's a lil background first.

I'm not really hiding that I am trans anymore, a lot of people know by now, but I am also not shouting it from the rooftops either so a lot of people still don't know.

I come from a really big family and am not close to or talk to or see most of em often at all, like once a year or less for many. The people I see often know but people I don't see or talk to often don't (unless heard about it from someone else, possible but idk..)

It is one side of the family that is giving me trouble, my mom's. They are very religious I'd say, Christians. A lot of my dad's side knows now, I visited a few, told a few, they told a bunch more. They all seem ok with it.

One of the first people I told was a cousin on my mom's side. I tho she was ok with it, we have been seeing each other every couple of weeks or so as we were before that and everything seemed normal (was only guy mode tho so far with her).

The only other one I told on that side (so far) was an aunt who I see when I see my cousin (go to breakfest 1-2x a month). I brought it up to her and she thought I was crazy and said she didn't wanna talk about it.

Other than for bfest, I rarely see them two. We were supposed to go last week for it (it was potentially the last time in awhile for me as I have have dental work done the next day) but it didn't happen.

The weekend prior to our bfest date there was a grad party for someone in the family. I was invited but didn't feel like going but my brother and sister in law did go. My aunt and cousin were there as well and they all talked.

I sorta knew my aunt would be against it beforehand and after I mentioned it to her and she said she didn't wanna talk about it, pretty much knew then that that would be the case. I tho my cousin was ok with it but think I am wrong...

After the party my brother called me and told me what was said. He said that they (him and the wife) were pissed at the two others for what they said basically and I guess want nothing more to do with either of them.

He said that my aunt didn't wanna see me and he said what my cousin said to him. She knew that my dad's side seemed ok with me (hell I visited em and all after they found out/I told em) and she told my brother that they were unmoral drunks...I mean, talking trash about em cuz they were supportive of me.

I was pretty mad at that point so I sent her a text saying that I wasn't gonna go to breakfast since they were being unsupportive and stuff and that I wasn't gonna deal with drama and shit and that if you guys don't like it then oh well. Turns out that they decided that they weren't going already, my aunt had an "appointment" early in the morning and that she was expecting a call. Lol...ok sure, whatev's.

I kinda had written them off as a lost cause, not worth the hassle type thing, but then today my cousin sent me a txt asking how my dentist app went. I happened to be in a good mood at the time so I replied back.

I am just kinda wondering tho if that is ok? I kinda feel like it isn't ok, not with me. Because we are family, she has said, she loves me but she has also said she doesn't agree with what I am doing and also talked crap about people who do. I kinda feel like it is a black and white type thing...either with me or against me, you know, not this pick and choose, love me but don't support me type game that she is doing. I guess idk what to do about it, is it ok for her to be this way or am I right?

There are a few other I have on that side as friends on facebook but I see them MUCH less often (neither of the first two have fb). I see them occasionally like negative posts about Caityln and make comments sometimes also. I have tho about saying something to em about it, prolly coming out to em in the process but, based on how these two are taking it and behaving, idk if it is even worth the hassle to do so...My brother thinks there are a few on that side that may be supportive and ok with it but even them, like most of my family, I rarely see (wedding, funeral, once in a while a grad party or communion type thing). Honestly, don't really care all that much if any of em accept me or not. Never been close to like any of em and never really been a big part of my life either... it'd kinda hurt just because but doesn't really affect my life too much, doesn't change it.

I always write too much...can't help myself....anyways,  any thoughts/advice about these things?

[Deleted]

Hate isn't Christian. Bigotry isn't either.

They aren't seeing it, the truth.

Pray their eyes be open.

More later if I can. This is why I'm stealth to mine, but I'm getting real tired of stealth.

So I don't blame you.

Trinity

[Deleted]

The thing with Caitlin really seems to be forcing some side taking as trans starts to be seen as something other than a comedy act. I think it has long been seen as, and this may trigger, a joke by the mainstream. I've dealt with it at work, there is a relentless need for them to see me as a guy in makeup or whatever. Or as a gay guy.

But never as a Nonbinary. It's like we are enigmas.

To choose to be out is one thing, to get forced into a corner by ignorant speech of others is another. Stating quiet truths can help, but if they made up their mind to be rigid, we won't change that. If we go toe to toe, do we gain anything? Or just poke the tiger.

I'll say things about trans in general, I may get provoked on my next trip home, who knows how I will react, how you would react. It takes a level head to be out, we live in the matrix, the social constructs accepted as fact, gender taboos still in play. Those who use their beliefs to wound ours need to look deep at themselves, at the first law of love...

They will, eventually, as their conscience deals with them. By knowing those who are out, maybe half stealth out even, it personifies those who were demonized and stereotyped by those who really don't know better.

How long have we been hidden? I hid for 55 years, I still hide sometimes to protect my family from ignorance. Or stay in their comfort levels, hide my true gender because it's none of their business and their comments are not welcome.


I won't make myself vulnerable to that from family. Folk outside, we have less to lose, Maybe a job, something else. But shunning is passive violence, it is intended to hurt, the very opposite of God's love.

They may debate, but to disregard fact and misapply scripture, that's on them.


They see collateral damage, they may see in some falsity, or sexually loose living, they'll ascribe it to being trans. I personally believe it's simply another gender, and no difference exists in relation to God between me, a woman, or a man. It is of no consequence what my gender is, what my heart is in relation to God, that is everything. And living not according to the matrix, but according to my understanding of the truth.

I'm only out a couple years, so my advice is limited. But their issue is their problem, you need to maintain your self esteem, and not get run over by those who have no interest in understanding you and who you are.

Imo.

Blessings

Trinity

[Ativan Prescribed]

Right now, the best thing to do is to just roll with it when you can and move away when you can't be given any credibility if you try to explain yourself.
The whole transgender thing is in flux, once again the entire emphasis is on transsexuals, never mind anyone else.
But I get my news by categories, and the number of trans related stories are about three times what they were 6 months ago and most of them are positive.
And the negative ones are asking society whats wrong with it.

People as society is finding a new voice, one that isn't putting up with the crap any longer.
It's rebelling against what was the status quo.
There used to be a lot of people who wouldn't dare go against the conventions of what they thought of as the truth, they are seeing how badly they are being lied to.
Just like it took a catalyst to get that idiotic flag put away in a box somewhere as a memory, people are finding the catalyst they have been looking for in many things.
It's changing, society has finally gotten sick of being pushed around and it's freedoms taken away.
The way it is fighting back is by not taking the ones that were taken from them and demanding them back, they are looking and finding the ones of the beaten down.
They are making an issue about the sufferings of a lot of smaller groups and saying 'look at what you have done there, now look at what has happened to all of us'.
Times are a changing, I wonder how long it's going to last this time, the last time was civil rights and the war in Viet Nam that shook up the country.
We are walking away from the hate that took over, it's being looked at and scrutinized and is just not as popular as some would like it to be, the ones who profit from it.

[Sisyphus]

I had a huge problem with online social media when Caitlyn Jenner came out. It was rough to allies in other arenas suddenly tearing into trans people. It was like, with Caitlyn Jenner it made people uncomfortable, but they felt like they couldn't say what they were really feeling, but then with RAchel Dolezal it was like it gave all sorts of different types of people permission to take a hatchet to the idea of trans and trans people and feel okay with expressing that discomfort and those pretty mean thoughts, they'd been feeling all along.

As far as family, cut off who you need to and forgive and embrace who you need to. Only you know the ins and outs. I've got some family who I try to work with on their transphobia, homophobia, sexism, racism and ableism and others who just suck the life out of me and I don't see any benefit for them or us to make each other miserable. I don't actively shun them, but I don't go out of my way to get into situations where I'm going to spend my day pissed about something that I'm not going to change.

[Ativan Prescribed]

I'll accept that there are things that I can't change, but I won't accept the things that I can change.
Being pissed isn't all that constructive unless it is used as a catalyst to motivate me to make the changes when and where I can.
But if it does no good to be just be pissed, there are much more important things that need to be done, personally or otherwise.
Walking away from those in my family that have no value to me any longer was the best thing I ever did for myself.

[Taka]

with some family members, you'll just be nice with them as long as they are nice with you, then walk away when they aren't. those are the people who do care, but can't really figure out how to do it right. there's nothing wrong with staying in touch, you just need to make it clear that some of your choices for your own life aren't up for discussion (if they try to talk about it the wrong way). like choosing to be yourself.
some of them may change their views just by seeing that it's good for you.


other family members aren't worth the effort at all, at best they're energy vampires, at worst they're outright violent (even if it's just with their words). better stay away from them.

but the good ones should be kept, and talked to often. particularly those who'd get angry on your behalf for the right reasons.

[Deleted]

I'm actually very tired of all this Caitlyn Jenner stuff, myself. Her show pisses me off. She is so self-absorbed. She's like a child. She might have a good heart and good intent, but I can't imagine I would enjoy being around her.

[Ayla]

Arin

I can understand you being annoyed with the show but her experience and her self absorption are not unusual for folk who are just at the start of their journey. This could also be age related, in that they have waited so long to be themselves, or it may be that the show etc is being prepared for television and  is trying to bring an audience with them.

Whether I would like Cait or not, I don't know. Often the online or television persona is a construct, part their projection and part ours. I think I would share similar experiences, could struggle with her politics, be dismayed by the public bubble that she is encased in and most likely fascinated by her experiences as an athlete etc

She could probably teach me how to play golf as well. I wish her well and hope that she can help members of our community.

[EchelonHunt]

I haven't seen the tv show yet, still waiting on english subtitles for episode 2 so I can binge-watch episode 1 & 2. I have neither high nor low expectations, more curious than anything.

If it wasn't for Caitlyn Jenner coming out, I would never have found out how compassionate and respectful one of my old high-school friends was. She is a mother and she was proud of her daughter who declared that we should all love and accept each other regardless of how different we are. She echoed the same thoughts regarding Caitlyn, said she was proud of her for having the courage to come out and finally be true to herself. She knew I was transgender in high-school, one of her friends actually explained the message behind my drawing to her, that she had trouble understanding at first but due to her curiosity and desire for knowledge, she enquired and eventually, she understood.

A curious mind is much better than a closed one, I say

[Deleted]

Aug 11, 2015 13:49:18 GMT 8 @illuminess said:

I'm actually very tired of all this Caitlyn Jenner stuff, myself. Her show pisses me off. She is so self-absorbed. She's like a child. She might have a good heart and good intent, but I can't imagine I would enjoy being around her.

I think you got it nailed. Wendy Williams said it best a few days ago on her show that Caitlyn is a Kardashian now. I am so sick of the "Kardashian Empire". Can anyone tell me what anyone of the Kardashians have done other than look pretty, marry celebrities and well off people, and show their faces on TV. Just because their mom got lucky and married rich. Same with Paris Hilton.

Yeah since Caitlyn does seem to be a Kardashian now, wouldn't it be normal for her to be self absorbed and so on? BTW I knew this was gonna' happen with a show and everything else if you look through some of the older post I made about it. It seems the new ultra addictive drug is being in reality shows. It seems like once you get some attention it is really hard to give it up.

I must confess that I haven't seen the show either but, human nature and all that stuff. It is a good thing that it does draw attention to our plight but too much in your face and it will backfire. Especially if Wendy Williams is right and she ends up being just another Kardashian with a primadonna attitude. 

[Ativan Prescribed]

It seems like there is some positive feedback, as well as already tired of it.
But gotta admit it really brought the discussions up front and center for awhile.
I think the just regular old people who never seem to have a voice in the media are tired of the haters and the Kardashian like celebrities.
Society is getting vocal about the haters and calling them out, and the haters are being slammed like never before on social media.
So those who are shaking up the status quo just by being who they are has become a good thing, it's making the haters look worse than ever.
I'm neutral about Caitlyn, but in context of the bigger picture, they are making waves that will eventually smooth out our paths as well.
People are figuring out that the haters who have been making the changes and rules, need to go away.
The haters are claiming that if you aren't like them that everything will just fall into chaos.
But it already is because of the haters, the people are fighting back, Caitlyn is just one of many who are doing what they can.
It takes everyone, not a single person is going to be able to stand up to those who have steadily driven society as a whole, into the ground.
Right or wrong, they are the catalyst of change, and the change is for the better.

[JDLR]

I don't watch reality TV and avoid all the sideshows. Don't even read the tabloids. But I think "high profile" transitions will help some in the binary community - straight, gay, and trans - understand the array of gender identities that are out there.

It hurts that other transpeople can be so judgmental, though.