transition, concentration, distraction, focus

[Deleted]

I am curious if others have issues with focus and concentration since beginning the transition process.

Personally I have always been challenged at some level in this way. My mind races, I am prone to ruminating.

I wonder if its a trans thing, or if is a me thing.

Lets face it, finding our selves and becoming our selves is a big thing and takes a lot of mental energy. Draining at times.  Both out and stealth.

I was thinking once it was just my gender and business as usual that would change. It hasn't, but I don't think as much about gender. I think more of getting through the day, week, year, and coping with being me, and others learning to adapt to me being me.

But do you have these types of challenges either on the job or at home too? Did it happen after coming to terms with your gender? Or was it always there? Or is it not a factor?

Wondering.

Bless you my dears.

Trinity

[Cynthia13]

I think most people have racing thoughts, distractions and such. I think it's just an active or overactive mind. Generally, most people have tons of thoughts swimming through their heads. The difference is being the one in control of them. Finding ways to focus on the task at hand instead of letting the thoughts run away.

Personally, I write when my brain starts swimming. For me though I usually have several different opinions and parts wanting to pull me in different directions. I've found writing helps get the head to stop, allows me a moment to breathe and gives me a starting point when I have the time to read and process what's been swimming through my mind.

Most of the time when having trouble focusing it's because I'm getting stuck either in the past or playing out a future that hasn't happened yet. Once I realize this I can usually stop the spin by being mindfully aware that this moment in time is the only one I have any control over.

I hope this makes some sort of sense...

[Ativan Prescribed]

Makes perfect sense.
Lack of focus and concentration, ruminating, these are all things that everyone does at one time or another.
That it seems to be a part of being trans if because you thoughts are also there as well.
It can be a common thing for trans people to experience, but I wouldn't go so far as to say it is a part of it.
Not everyone has the same experience, and those are pretty common to everyone in general, you can't say it is because of who you are.
Those are some of the reactions to stress. Being mindful is important as a way of sidestepping those kinds of things.

[Deleted]

It all seems related to a need to escape the moment. We talk of living in the moment. What if that doesnt feel good, we get fatigued living the moment because the moment is mental discipline or fear or something, so we escape mentally...

Part of being an alcoholic addict is we want to turn it all off. Just shut it down. And cannot once sober, making us prone to other addictions or compulsivity.

[Ativan Prescribed]

Being mindful of the moment is not the same as living in it.
Being mindful is one of the more useful tools that an addict can have.
If the moment isn't right, you fix it. You don't look at the future to do that , you don't look at the past to do that.
Being mindful isn't all about having all your moments being good, it's about making the moment count.
If it's wrong you fix it in the moment. Don't try and use lineal time as a gauge of what a moment is.
it can be a split second, it can be as long as it needs to be, it depends on what the moment is about.

[Cynthia13]

Beautifully said Ativan! exactly what I was thinking, very well described

[Taka]

Jul 3, 2015 11:10:40 GMT 8 Trinity said:

It all seems related to a need to escape the moment. We talk of living in the moment. What if that doesnt feel good, we get fatigued living the moment because the moment is mental discipline or fear or something, so we escape mentally...

Part of being an alcoholic addict is we want to turn it all off. Just shut it down. And cannot once sober, making us prone to other addictions or compulsivity.

i don't believe that has to do with alcohol addiction at all.
there are people who just want to shut it down, even if they aren't addicted to anything in particular.
it's a reaction to stress, anxiety, depression, ptsd, and other conditions related to not coping with the here and now.
i don't feel like drinking when that happens to me. when losing control of my own mind, i don't want to take any substances that will make me lose control even more.


people don't get fatigued living in the moment.
take a look at the moment. the actual moment you're in right now.
disregard past and future.
how much about the moment is there to be stressed out over?
absolutely nothing, in most cases.
the exceptions are things like being chased by a bear, chewed out by your boss, a coworker threatening to beat you up, a neighbor aiming a gun at you.
but that's not happening right now, is it?

if you feel fatigued, that is most likely because you let memories of the past and worries about the future steal away your attention to what's real, here and now.

living in the moment takes a whole lot of being aware of your options.
take a look at all those problems your mind keeps ruminating over.
can you do something about it right now?
if you can, do it. if you can't, find out when you can do it, and plot it in your calendar.
when there are no problems that need fixing right this moment (if they can't be fixed, you just completely disregard them), you can do whatever you want.
like relaxing. having a good time with family. doing something you've wanted to do for a long time but thought you couldn't because there's so much else to do first.

tell your mind to shut up. ruminating fixes nothing. never spend more than a half hour a day ruminating.
actually, just fix a time in your schedule for it, and tell your mind to wait until then.
you're seriously just wasting time that you could spend doing something nice or fun.
life's already too short as it is. there's no time for unnecessary worry.

[Ativan Prescribed]

As many likes as is possible.
Fuck'n aye, that is so spot on.
Once again I am humbled and impressed.
A favorite quote I once read, 'In view of my impending death, I have no time for crappy thoughts'.
The death part is a little strong, but in view of where my journey needs to go, I have no time to waste on ruminating negative thoughts.
Life just has so many things to offer, I wonder if I will ever be able to have them all, and I probably won't.
I have no time to waste, I need to see what is there, just up ahead, and around the next bend in this journey of mine.

[Deleted]

I just started dropping notes down, trying and doing staying focussed, sharpening the game, changing the negative job self image to one that is more aggressive.


Long periods of concentration is tiring, it is my job, the mind always races. So I'll make a note, not worry about forgetting. Instead of emailing to take a brain break, visualization of restful nature.

Last time I did that I had an image of going to the top deck of a tugboat or ferry, and jumping into the river from it. As in, abandon ship.

But quick notes, unfocused the eyes, yeah.

And yup, just life here. Not necessarily escapism.

Mindful of moments. Enjoying the moment we are in.

Yup. Good stuff.

Trinity