So what are you struggling with accepting? Acceptance....

[Deleted]

Hi there cuties.

What are you struggling with accepting?  What does acceptance mean to you?  What impact does this little fact have on your life?

I struggle with accepting being trans, with accepting that my extended family and the tranphobic are a big part of my pain issues.

That I need to take it slow.

I do not struggle with accepting I am alchoholic, I accept that and all its consequences.

What do you have a hard time accepting?  Should you accept it and move beyond it?  Why can't your accept it?

Love

Trinity

[Cynthia13]

Acceptance... tough topic.
I've struggled with accepting a lot of things but didn't realize the struggle until the 12 step program made me face it. The biggest part of my acceptance issue came from my misunderstanding of the word. I used to think that by accepting something meant that I approved of it. I couldn't "accept" that my son is an addict with this definition because I couldn't approve of such a thing. My sponsor is big on dictionary definitions so pointed me in that direction. Basically to accept is to come to believe it's true or to receive as valid. It is what it is...
With this new mindset it became easier to accept several things.

1. My son is an addict. I didn't cause, can't cure and can't control his addiction.
2. My parents are severely sick people who just aren't capable of giving all of me unconditional love. They never received it and have no clue how to give it. They are broken people and choose to live in denial. I'm still struggling with this on some degree. I'm holding onto anger towards my mother because I can't accept that she did the best she could. She should have protected us not inflicted more pain...
3. My diagnosis... I thought I would struggle to accept this but by the time I'd found a therapist who understood my thinking the diagnosis just fit and made sense to me. I do struggle to accept that I still have to hide to fit in and not be judge by people who have little understanding.
4. I struggle to accept my emotions, to let them be seen and to accept love and support from others.
5. I accept that I haven't been the best parent I could have been.
6. I've learned to accept my part in my life; my choices define what direction I go and help me to stop blaming others.

With the awareness of these and the acceptance, I can choose what action will help me move forward.
Awareness the I wasn't the best parent led me to have several open and honest conversations with my sons. Some were quite hard to hear but accepting my part in this helped deepen our relationships.

[Deleted]

I have a hard time accepting ignorance. Not as a derogative term but true ignorance. People ignoring the fact that humans have a god given birthright to be who and what they want to be. OK so I will use a Christian example in that God has instilled with us Freewill to do whatever we want. Seems like society has no such rule of freeewill. With society it is either fit in or be persecuted. Think like me or be wrong. Act like me or be forever on the outside. Look like me or be shunned. That is ignorance and totally unaccpetable to me.

But sometimes I am just taken back by people and get the crap surprised out of me. I am taking care of my dad. He has dementia and yesterday we were drinking a few drinks. We were talking about Pinup Girls and he didn't know who Betty Page was and I showed him on youtube. Then I thought I am going to throw a wrench in the works and punched up Bailey Jay. He thought she was beautiful. When I told him she was a Transwoman, I then had to go to another sight to prove it. He wasn't surprised in the least and even said she was beautiful and didn't care what she has. I have a bruise on my chin from my jaw hitting the floor. Of course I never talk about me, how can he not know? I think he does but he don't say and I don't say. I do think he knows more than what he lets on but I can get away with a lot of stuff that seems normal with playing music. So now I'm really confused. Still shocked too.

[Deleted]

I have a hard time accepting the fact that all of the people we elect to the executive, legislative and judicial branches of our federal government are solely responsible for all of the problems that we face as a nation. Moreover, having worn the uniform of this nation's army and taking an oath to uphold the Constitution I find it difficult to believe that those same people can pick and choose who is allowed to enjoy the right of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness in this land and who will be excluded because of gender expression, sexual preference, color of skin, etc.

[Deleted]

Dec 16, 2014 22:51:59 GMT 8 Shan said:

I have a hard time accepting the fact that all of the people we elect to the executive, legislative and judicial branches of our federal government are solely responsible for all of the problems that we face as a nation. Moreover, having worn the uniform of this nation's army and taking an oath to uphold the Constitution I find it difficult to believe that those same people can pick and choose who is allowed to enjoy the right of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness in this land and who will be excluded because of gender expression, sexual preference, color of skin, etc.

I definately agree with you on that Shan.

[Laura J]

I used to blame everyone else for everything, and it made me very unhappy in the end. I've found that accepting myself and my faults a big step to becoming guilt free and content in life.

I to am a life long alcoholic, and I've come to totally accept responsibility for that, and for the consequences to my body.. That is one of my biggest regrets though..

I try to accept myself being NB trans, some days I relish in the feelings, some days I just want to forget everything.. I look back at my old self, and wonder if this is real.? Or just a dream I've clung onto to explain away all of my lifes past problems.? Then I always get smacked in the face with the truth, that indeed this is who I really am, no dream, no joke, no imagining it, it really is me.. When I accept that, I accept all of being trans, being an alcoholic, and being me..

When I'm in that "accepting of myself" mindset, I feel very peaceful and fluid, and that is my favorite way to be, the me I want everyone to know.. When I'm feeling self doubt and unaceptance, I'm down, depressed, just not my at my best, and it shows, and I don't like that at all..

I'll probably think of more later, but thats all I feel right now..

[Deleted]

Yeah Julie, he really shocked me. That is the third time that someone in my family has knocked me for a loop with something they said. Twice with transgender and once with a cousin with an extended family member that is gay and is accepted fully. The thing is I really don't know if it is something about me that they suspect and trying to be non offensive, which I don't think is the case because I hide it pretty good when I go home. My family is about as redneck as you can get. Hell I grew up around them and when I go back I sometimes think I may need an interpreter. But now my dad is with me and sees some of the clothes I wear. A live in boyfriend and a closet filled with men and women's clothes and shoes. I tell him they are my ex wifes clotes but I think he may know better. It's just unspoken between us. I have always said I may not be out of the closet but the door is open and the light is on. Maybe I'll replace the 60watt bulb for a 100watt bulb.

I will say there are quite a few gay and lesbians in my family so that is really no big deal. As far as I know, I'm the only transgender. 

[Laura J]

Dec 17, 2014 4:02:43 GMT 8 @julieblair said:

Mark, I am a drunk too, and have been clean since February 1989. You may recognize the above quote from the Big Book. I would he honored to go to a meeting with you one day. AA isn't the answer to everything, but it is a strong response to regret.

Peace,
Julie

Thank you Julie. I would love going to an AA meeting with you. I have a good feeling that we will one of these days. 

Its actually funny you should mention this. Because tomorrow morning I'll be going to my very first AA meeting.. I would never go to them before, it scared me quite a bit, and I am too shy to go alone, but I'm really looking forward to going tomorrow morning, and I know I'll have the best company.!

[Edge]

That I will always be alone.

[Anato]

I have a hard time accepting that I have the feelings I do, gender wise. What I am is uncommon, and I feel like a freak. I don't think I'll ever truly accept my feelings as healthy and okay but I guess..I do sort of accept them because I have to. They'll always be there.

[Deleted]

A common theme. And a word that should be different, not freak. We are generally unique souls, sensitive, lonely. But not freaks. It takes strength to be unique, to see it's stunning value, to accept it and eventually celebrate it. That is a process over time. It will come, if you are willing to surrender to accepting yourself.

At least, that has been my path.

Blessings

Trinity

[Deleted]

I am really struggling trying to accept that I am the only sane person in the world and everyone else is crazy.  Or it may be the other way around.