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Post by DCW on Dec 15, 2014 13:49:06 GMT 8
I'm hurting so much right now. More shit from other trans people for regretting - claiming that I'm responsible if the religious right uses my regret to oppose treatment and, thus, I must not openly share my experiences. I'm dealing with yet more HRT problems, too. I really, deeply regret SRS and wish I could undo it. I'd give up everything to be able to have that. Genital dysphoria that is impossible to address sucks.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2014 18:37:05 GMT 8
I'm hurting so much right now. More shit from other trans people for regretting - claiming that I'm responsible if the religious right uses my regret to oppose treatment and, thus, I must not openly share my experiences. I'm dealing with yet more HRT problems, too. I really, deeply regret SRS and wish I could undo it. I'd give up everything to be able to have that. Genital dysphoria that is impossible to address sucks. First of all the religious so called right does not have the right to extend cruelty and torture to your poor hurting heart and make that worse. That infuriates the Lord and your needs come first. Second if any trans screws with you in here they will not be seen as cool at all. It is not for the good of all trans to do that to you. Am so sorry about what happened to you but please keep hanging in, vent to us, let us carry you, and know that life happens and we keep going. I cannot imagine what you must feel, but my dear it won't be alone. The whole forum feels it with you. Blessings from the fairy. Prayers too. And the hrt you need, you need, whatever the results, at least the body chems can be as you need them.
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Post by Ayla on Dec 15, 2014 18:44:53 GMT 8
I'm hurting so much right now. More shit from other trans people for regretting - claiming that I'm responsible if the religious right uses my regret to oppose treatment and, thus, I must not openly share my experiences. I'm dealing with yet more HRT problems, too. I really, deeply regret SRS and wish I could undo it. I'd give up everything to be able to have that. Genital dysphoria that is impossible to address sucks. We feel your pain and apologise for the treatment that you have been receiving. At a time when you should be receiving support and understanding, you should not need to suffer for regreting SRS. I don't think anyone has the right to criticise another without first understanding them. They cannot walk in your shoes so can't possibly understand your narrative. We all make mistakes and I hope that here you get the support and love that you deserve. safe travels Aisla
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Post by Laura J on Dec 15, 2014 20:04:08 GMT 8
I'm hurting so much right now. More shit from other trans people for regretting - claiming that I'm responsible if the religious right uses my regret to oppose treatment and, thus, I must not openly share my experiences. I'm dealing with yet more HRT problems, too. I really, deeply regret SRS and wish I could undo it. I'd give up everything to be able to have that. Genital dysphoria that is impossible to address sucks. I'm so so sorry you're hurting this way.. The others said what I feel also. Its okay to share your thoughts here, no one will give you crap for anything, or try and blame.. You're our friend, and very welcomed, and we will always listen and have hugs waiting. Hold on, and try and have a positive day, knowing people are thinking about you with care.. Hugs
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2014 20:27:58 GMT 8
DCW,
Sweetheart we in here, I think nearly all of us, are diagnosed with gender dysphoria, which is still considered to be a serious mental "disorder" as defined as ravaging our ability to live comfortably without it screwing up our ability to work and function, mostly because of the incredible impact it has on our lives, NOT because the identities we have are disordered. Its the impact of the dysphoria that pushes it over the edge. What I am saying is straight from my shrink here.
My point is that we suffer from something that is on the level of seriousness of... what. 70% morbidity rate, maybe, 43% suicide rate, 75% suicide ideation rate. Shocking that my insurance wont cover this.... evil actually.
So darling what does this mean. Surely you were diagnosed with something big, you suffered from something, you acted to make yourself feel better... is that your fault dear? If you think of yourself as being in the grip at the time of something you could not control, does it soften the blow? Were you not at the end of your rope and took what you thought was the cure for your pain?
So the repercussions are great. So it is with us, its part of living with gender dysphoria, the ripple effect on our lives is incredible. On others, incredible. On our bodies, the same. I mean, can I get shoulder and ribcage reduction? Skull reduction?
Can that thing between my legs be hidden enought so I can stand it? And I am nb can I get srs?
We make our choices based on our life experience, prayer, and the influence of gatekeepers. Without enough data, the transition will go awry. If there is a hint of self deception, the same it true. The diamond is fashioned and cut. It may be the wrong cut, but it is still a diamond.
Your dear remain a diamond. You are a diamond of courage and perseverance, with a message that needs to be clearly heard, not by gatekeepers and political folks that would misuse it to hurt us, but by the world of trans so that they can make clearminded decisions. And these same gatekeepers and folks that determine what insurance must cover need to hear truth too. Why is truth repressed? Because others are making the choices for our srs, and it should not be so. It should be informed consent with a crystal clear vision of our truth by us, and knowledge of all its consequences. Not, reserved for binaries only. Not, something that if there is a dysphoria is always the answer. It is not, it is an individual concern and need, boxes kill us.
So you have sacrificed and experienced for us, so we have data for ourselves. I am sorry it comes at such a cost as yours, but your message needs to be heard. There are many that will use our messages for their own gain, they will face the author of truth and love, and they most certainly will be held accountable for their tongues.
But you my dear were suffering, i suspect, and made a change, or somehow needed to do that, I am not in your head to feel what it was, and you my dear need to acknowledge that you are human, a diamond, meaningful, loved by us, and courageous enough to reach out and open our eyes to the truth of what happened to you.
Like a cancer scenario, with all its acceptance issues and consequences, we live with our choices and bodies. If I got breast cancer i would go suicidal on the need to remove one or both. I am sure those in here would intervene.
You have a scenario that played, and it is similar. You are a srs regret survivor. That means something, that is important to someone reading this, whether an invisible guest or one of us that are preop or no op.
Dont hurt your diamond, let us love out your pain, let us carry you until you can carry yourself.
Love from the dysphoric fairy, one that has cracked from it many times, and still loves and lives.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2014 21:19:21 GMT 8
One last thought.
Every time I see a mirror I see a beautiful mtf transsexual with a face that passes, and by circumstances a beard has been forced upon it.
Dysphoria he'll if I don't handle it right.
But my face under the mask is still pretty.
That cannot be taken from you, and your mirror may be kinder than mine, at least with the face.
Blessings
Trinity
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2014 23:30:56 GMT 8
I'm hurting so much right now. More shit from other trans people for regretting - claiming that I'm responsible if the religious right uses my regret to oppose treatment and, thus, I must not openly share my experiences. I'm dealing with yet more HRT problems, too. I really, deeply regret SRS and wish I could undo it. I'd give up everything to be able to have that. Genital dysphoria that is impossible to address sucks. It's not cool what they are accusing you of but you are not alone here hon, ChaoticTribe has suffered the same treatment probably by the same people. Chin up now, it's going to go away eventually as long as you make yourself inaccessible to them and don't waste your life's energy engaging them.
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Post by DCW on Dec 17, 2014 4:24:53 GMT 8
The point isn't that the religious right is doing anything; it's that trans people are accusing me of working with the religious right to hurt them and, therefore, that it justifies hurting me.
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Post by Taka on Dec 17, 2014 4:45:01 GMT 8
The point isn't that the religious right is doing anything; it's that trans people are accusing me of working with the religious right to hurt them and, therefore, that it justifies hurting me. it's the same as when people insist that bisexuality doesn't exist. we're either gays in denial, a little more curious than normal, abuse victims, or possessed by the devil. of course homosexual people tend to discriminate more against bisexual people, because they're afraid of losing to the straight. best of both worlds, or in eternal limbo... a little difficult to tell sometimes. if people treated me like they do you, i might actually go and sell my story to the zealous right just to spite them. do trans people deserve srs if they deny another the right to be happy with their genitals? there's no logic in that. bullshit will remain bullshit. i'll lend you my shovel if you ever need it...
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Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2014 5:03:09 GMT 8
The point isn't that the religious right is doing anything; it's that trans people are accusing me of working with the religious right to hurt them and, therefore, that it justifies hurting me. No one or nothing is justification for hurting and attacking you. Unfortunatley you have a lot of people that will use anyone or anything according to their own agenda. Way too many times you see it coming from all sides. You are who you are and what you want for yourself, no one should use that for their own personal agenda. Of course I'm a little hypocritical because I could be the poster child for the "F" off club. Ignore them. Live your life the way you see fit and the ones that try to use you or trash you just tell them you aren't interested in their opinions or could care less about their agendas. Just tell them you have your own life and if they put as much energy in their own lives as they do with pushing other people to be more like them and so on, the world may end up being a better place.
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Ayla likes this
Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2014 5:53:52 GMT 8
The point isn't that the religious right is doing anything; it's that trans people are accusing me of working with the religious right to hurt them and, therefore, that it justifies hurting me. That just blows my mind. Really. How dare they do that to you. Outrageous.
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Metamorph
Full Member
What does this status thing do?
Posts: 245
Gender: FTM Non-Binary
Pronouns: He/His/Him
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Post by Metamorph on Dec 17, 2014 11:13:05 GMT 8
I loved what trinity said. I agree completely with all he'r eloquence. I am so sorry that the trans community is so fearful that they are scapegoating one of there own. And that's what it is. Fear that there could be regret they are carrying inside and not acknowledged. Fear that this process is so hard and doesn't necessarily have a "happily ever after" ending. Fear of the judgement of others.
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