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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2015 8:08:31 GMT 8
One of the things that nails me as being Nonbinary is Wal-Mart. As my core observes, as it always is, I watch how I react to men, women, clothes, food, how I interact, the jealousy, the certainty of knowing I am not of either sex, that I am different from all, yet, also the same as all, on some levels.
It confirms me as me, I was out buying clear nail polish, eyebrow tweasers though it'll be very subtle, eyeliner sharpener. Still adrenaline highed from watching fury road. Better social commentary there. Good movie.
I keep observing, learning. It's complicated. My boss said I wasn't what she thought trans was supposed to be. She was thinking about the car, I took a welder from the shop on a little sprint, 0 to 80 in what he said was 3 seconds. I told him to make sure he told his friend his fastest and wildest ride was from a transsexual. Over railroad tracks, the car likes to dance over those, it just flies.
I digress...it's fun, I can. But no, not what the boss expected. Wild, free, tear those roles apart.
I'm having fun, though dysphoria usually hits in department stores. Tonight, I just reminded myself I have what I want, body, freedom, sex, and a journey the family is going with me on.
Do you find department stores gender affirming? Does it give clarity?
How is that social experience for you?
Or am I just weird? Which would be fine anyway.
God I love the taste of freedom, and this is only the beginning, I'm not even really free that much. Or maybe I am. Maybe we all are, if we realize it. Grab hold of it. Be it.
Blessings
Trinity
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Post by Laura Jane on Jun 8, 2015 10:39:18 GMT 8
I miss your topics Trin, I always enjoy reading your words.
I couldn't resist adding my 2 cents worth.
I was at Walmart too today, and then Publix at lunchtime standing in a terrible long line just to get a deli sandwich made up.. Yeah, people look, so what.? I was as dolled up as I ever get, we just left church, my one day of the week to dress nicest, and let my true style through in public. I was in male garb, it's all I have right now, but with pink nails, really feminine baby blue charm bracelet, actually 2 of them, diamond earring, my (24/7) neckless of a trans emblem & a cross out on top of my black shirt, and my fave parfum..
I no longer worry at all about going in stores or other places being me, none of those things you mentioned are a part of my thoughts any longer.? If fact, I look forward to going out now, I actually am trying more and more to present more feminine, and proud of it..
At church today our pastor came over before service and talked just to me for a while, asked me how things were, mostly small talk.. LOL, I never shyed away for a second, and about pushed my trans emblem in his face if he didn't already notice it. Kinda hard to miss, especially for a pastor..
I've learned that transition isn't about being female in a males body, thats wrong.. It's being male and female in a male body, and as the male part slowly sheers away and shrinks, the female part rises up, becomes more confident, and starts taking over, which I feel a lot now, and it's awesome..
I don't honestly care what anyone thinks anymore.? I'm transitioning at my own speed, in the way thats perfect for me..
And most important of all, I wake up every morning and offer my entire self to God, for his pleasure and delight, and promise to live for him in everything I do now, and that is the most empowering experience I've yet had..! Because if God is for us, who can be against us.? I just chuckle at the people who don't get it, and wishe them well...
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2015 10:59:20 GMT 8
What a pleasure to have you guest in.
Come back dear, you are sorely missed.
And drop by for a big hug.
Trinity
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Post by EchelonHunt on Jun 8, 2015 18:03:16 GMT 8
That's wonderful, Laura. The world really opens up once one accepts and embraces themselves to the fullest.
It's like being a kid going on an adventure for the first time, exhilarating and the unknown can be scary but you never know unless you try!
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