Avoiding emotional manipulation

[Deleted]

Emotions and other people.  Hard stuff.

Learning what buttons are installed in you, where you are vulnerable, how you get played, how others play you.

This is not about others in another place manipulating, that is toxicity and poisonous, we wont be talking about that, the door is shut, the dead keep it, we are alive.  Group conscience will shut that down in a heartbeat.  Know this.

This is about you my dears, your freedom.  Freedom from controlling behaviors, manipulation, being a doormat.  (Not  a dormouse, they morph into phoenixs and set the world on fire with their loving heart). 

How do you free yourself from being controlled by your emotions, fear, something being withheld, denied, some part of you being threatened, something triggering.

Or your pushing buttons in someone to make them cry, to make them love, to give you the attention you crave, how does this work?

A deep thread topic, a critical one to set you free from it all,  free to be trans, free to let others self destruct without taking you down with them, on drugs, on alcohol, on hate, on codependency.

Untangling your feet from the net of your own emotions.  Those of others do not control you, they are powerless over you, you are powerless over them.  Once you truly understand this, you have become free, you are a bird, a flaming diamond of trans, a power of person to be not taken lightly, authenticy incarnate.

Blessings my dear, I am learning, and I hate emotional maniplation with a passion, but not the ones that do it, ultimately, they are not well, they need help, they have lost their edge, and are falling from it.

Love to all here, unconditionally.

[Deleted]

Good topic SJ, emotional manipulation begins at an early age in family life, in schools by teachers and by other kids as peer pressure, comes from spouses and employers. It has taken me years to be able to recognize it as it's happening, now I see it coming like a freight train and can identify and sidestep it knowing it's devious intents. The key is recognition and then refusing to allow it to have any effect which entails some turning down of the fear and empathy buttons and in some cases dealing with it in a stone cold matter of fact manner. Hormones enhance emotions and it's imperative to have a balance, if not you're going to get splattered all over the place.

[Taka]

there is nothing worse than the guilt card.
women use it frequently.

"how could you do something like this when i was planning to do all these nice things for you."
basically saying it's that victim's fault that they don't get something good that they didn't even know the other person was planning to give.
makes the manipulator seem very righteous too.

making the victim out to be the bad one who hurts the bully, and even making the victim believe it.
while giving the victim hope of getting things they're made to think they want or need, if only they do as the bullies say.

[Deleted]

How to avoid emotional manipulation, call out BS when it happens and remove yourself from toxic situations ASAP

[Taka]

to call out bs on a forum admin can be a little difficult.
a forum admin once played the guilt card on me. i left.
can't use a forum where admins think this is acceptable behavior.

not gonna tell you what forum this was though, it's only one of many i've frequented in the last few years, most have nothing to do with trans at all.
it's rather irrelevant too.
but sad to observe how emotional manipulation continues, sometimes even stronger, on the internet.

[Deleted]

Dec 11, 2014 20:37:39 GMT 8 Taka said:

there is nothing worse than the guilt card.
women use it frequently.

"how could you do something like this when i was planning to do all these nice things for you."
basically saying it's that victim's fault that they don't get something good that they didn't even know the other person was planning to give.
makes the manipulator seem very righteous too.

making the victim out to be the bad one who hurts the bully, and even making the victim believe it.
while giving the victim hope of getting things they're made to think they want or need, if only they do as the bullies say.

Oh don't I know! I found that out when I was a kid. My mom coerced me into being a good little boy by becoming infuriated about some inane thing. She packed my clothes in a suitcase and called a taxi cab telling me that she was sending me off to reform school, she even paid the cab driver to play along with it, he took the suitcase and put it in the trunk of the cab as I screamed and cried. She was the queen of drama and a master manipulator.

I got an early education in what manipulation is all about and became adept at spotting it the instant it starts.

[Deleted]

I emotionally manipulate myself.

I have never learned emotional independence.

I have no clue how it is achieved.

I only know my answer is unconditional love for all.

And to avoid freight trains.

But emotionally healthy here?

No, I am insane. I rely on others help, on grace of god, and flat out mercy.

I can see through it, but not when it's done to me sometimes.

It's complicated.