Post by Deleted on May 29, 2015 11:59:11 GMT 8
The only person, so far, that I have to deal with is my grandmother. When I came out to her she told me "well, you know I don't approve," but I've since educated her on everything the best I can. She never really has any responses to anything, though, nor does she ask me any questions; but she isn't disowning me or trying to tell me I'm wrong. She does continue to refer to me as my birth name. I understand that it is difficult to call someone by a new name, especially when it's someone they love and have known as your old name for decades, but I can't help but wonder if she's even trying. I feel that she probably puts it all out of her head when I'm not around, and therefore doesn't realise the correct thing to say when I am around.
I really hate hearing my old name. I hated it before, but now I can't stand it. That name is associated with a long period of emotional and mental anguish in my life, as well as with a gender that I do not identify with. I don't know how to approach this matter with her, because I know what she'll say... that it's not easy and yada yada. Yes, I understand that, but it gets easier when you actually start trying.
My mother probably hasn't adjusted her thoughts, either. She was the first person I came out to officially, and in person, and she was immediately supportive. But since then we've drifted apart due to her abuse of prescriptions and loss of sobriety. I cannot stand to be around her right now. I don't even see my mother in her anymore. I thought she would have been my biggest ally, and she probably would have been, but I can't have her in my life in that condition.
My father is very supportive, and he now refers to me as his daughter. I don't see him as we live several hours apart, but we communicate online.
My main issue, though, is my grandmother. I wish she would stop using my old name, or at least correct herself when it slips out. Hearing that name is just as much of a stab as hearing "sir". I don't want to distance myself from everyone just because they can't say the right things, but that's the feeling I have just to protect myself emotionally. Maybe in another six months or so the HRT will have feminised me enough to where I can comfortably dress and accessorise myself so that it becomes easier for everyone. It shouldn't have to be that way, but I see no other way around it.
I really hate hearing my old name. I hated it before, but now I can't stand it. That name is associated with a long period of emotional and mental anguish in my life, as well as with a gender that I do not identify with. I don't know how to approach this matter with her, because I know what she'll say... that it's not easy and yada yada. Yes, I understand that, but it gets easier when you actually start trying.
My mother probably hasn't adjusted her thoughts, either. She was the first person I came out to officially, and in person, and she was immediately supportive. But since then we've drifted apart due to her abuse of prescriptions and loss of sobriety. I cannot stand to be around her right now. I don't even see my mother in her anymore. I thought she would have been my biggest ally, and she probably would have been, but I can't have her in my life in that condition.
My father is very supportive, and he now refers to me as his daughter. I don't see him as we live several hours apart, but we communicate online.
My main issue, though, is my grandmother. I wish she would stop using my old name, or at least correct herself when it slips out. Hearing that name is just as much of a stab as hearing "sir". I don't want to distance myself from everyone just because they can't say the right things, but that's the feeling I have just to protect myself emotionally. Maybe in another six months or so the HRT will have feminised me enough to where I can comfortably dress and accessorise myself so that it becomes easier for everyone. It shouldn't have to be that way, but I see no other way around it.
