Pikachu's Goodbye

[EchelonHunt]

Pikachu:
Delete my account. I'm not staying here where two people can crucify a woman for doing nothing more than saying "Awwww" in reply to someone saying they were happy to see her, and then the admin decides to erase it all.

I invited her back here. She missed her friends. I thought better of the people here. Mariah is a mod on the previous place. So fucking what? So is my girlfriend. Many members here are also members over there. Most of us came from over there. This isn't war. This is ridiculous.

If you all want to keep on perpetuating hate and fighting, go right ahead. But you can count me out.

EchelonHunt:
I deleted it because the replies had gone off topic. I don't condone hate and fighting, it hurts you would assume I do

I am going to speak to the members involved. The previous place is not meant to be brought up on forum because it triggers people who are vulnerable like Mark and Trinity.

If you still want to delete your account, let me know.

Pikachu:
No... Sorry, Jacey. I'm a bit of a hothead. It just made me so mad. Mariah did not bring up the previous place or say anything to either Ativan or Trinity. Mark (Laura) was happy to see her.

It just made me so fucking mad...

Urgggh.

You're right. I'm sorry for jumping the gun and accusing you.

Pikachu:
I'm a little confused... Mariah is claiming she's been IP banned from this site. I don't understand why that would be the case.

Pikachu:
She only wants to be able to view as a guest again. She said she won't rejoin. She doesn't want to cause trouble.

EchelonHunt:
Please. Stop. I banned her because everyone needs time to cool down. I don't know why she needs to view the site as a guest and frankly, I don't care.

I am on my way to my appointment to see a surgeon about top surgery. I don't need anymore stress. Please, just give me time and I will sort things out once and for all.

Pikachu:
Oh what the fuck ever. Go ahead and delete me then. So sorry doing your fucking job is so stressful. I won't be around to trouble you any more.

EchelonHunt:
I am the only person running this website. I'm sorry that I cannot drop everything to cater to your demands.

---

This was discussed in PM, normally I would not share this due to privacy but given the way things turned out, I felt it would set an example to everyone that this behaviour isn't acceptable.

I understand Stephanie was hurting because she felt her friend was driven away, she was hurt and angry so she lashed out at me because I was an easy target.

I was someone she could blame and place all responsibility onto for everything that had happened.

Deleting her account and banning her IP address was the hardest thing I had to do. I had enjoyed her company on the forum, especially in the weight loss thread and enjoyed reading her responses to Aisla's articles.

She's not the only one whose friend has been banned from this forum. Yeah, it sucks but guess what? Life isn't fair and being transgender and/or non-binary, we understand that more than anyone else.

Juggling transitioning, studies, work and life all at once is stressful enough for me, throw forum stuff over the top, my breaking point was evidently shown in my message to Stephanie.

I'm not saying all this to get sympathy and I'm not showing this to encourage people to bash her. That is not what this is about.

I like to think I'm kind and lenient. Yes, behind the scenes, I have to make hard decisions in order to do what I believe would be in the forum's best interests... to keep it the safe place it can be, it should be. 

Help me keep it that way. Let's continue to be respectful to one another, to be compassionate, to never jump to conclusions, to inquire, to share information and experiences, to seek advice on your journey.

I tried to be patient with Stephanie but I am finding lately that I have zero tolerance for the attitude she displayed towards me. 

Kind regards,

Jacey

[EchelonHunt]

May 28, 2015 23:37:08 GMT 8 Laura J said:

I asked to have my account deleted also, and all posts removed... 

EXACT same reason...! 

Thank you for fullfilling my request.. 

Goodbye.. 

In case you haven't seen the Forum Policies that were updated on 10 February, it highlights that members can delete their own account if they wish to. Auntie Shan did it, DF did it and Mariah did on both her accounts.

The only reason I did not immediately grant your request is because doing things on emotional impulse can lead to regret later on. I do know you come and go regularly, this compounded my concerns. But now I see it's clear, you do not wish to be here anymore.

I respect your decision to leave but I won't delete your account for you. Please feel free to do so yourself, the information is there in the link.

You will be missed, just as Stephanie is.

[Ayla]

Jacey

You have a very difficult job. Most of us are easily triggered and damaged. This has become a safe place where we can grow and heal. I appreciate your efforts in establishing and leading this forum.

Is it really so hard for us to accept that where a call needs to be made by you that we should respect this?

Like you, I miss those that have left and hope that they will find their way back. Self moderation is challenging. Respect and occasionally biting our tongue is a small price to pay. This is too precious a place to allow casual or malicious damage to pass unchecked. It is rare to find unanimity in such a diverse group - we shouldn't expect this.  There will be differences in opinion.

As a community I can't help but think that we have much bigger issues to focus on than provoking and sustaining internal conflict or disquiet.

Safe travels

Aisla

[Deleted]

OK I just got one statement to say, "Grow the Fuck up." This doesn't pertain to anyone in particular, not in the least. I understand exactly where you are coming from Jayce. I really don't think there is any war between either place and don't really give a rat's ass if what I say gets back to anyone over there. I don't belong there anymore. I made my decision based on unfair moderation practices, privacy and the lack of caring support of other sights unless it is OK with the owner and is sanctioned by her and her moderators. So I asked the Moderators to delete my account over there.

Yeah. Emotions tend to run high. Hell I wish I was.  But like Stephanie said there are members that belong to both places, so those that may say something bad about one over here does not need to get back to the moderators over there unless they can prove that what is said here stays here just like I would expect what is said over there stays over there. Like I said I could give a rat's ass which is pretty insignificant in the scheme of important things about what I say over here ends up over there. But moderators, friends or not, from one place to the other needs a little time to figure out if they can keep secrets from others that are members on both places and be trusted with what is said.

PS Jayce, you can delete this post if you feel you need to. I won't curse you. Sometimes we need to feel safe that what we say about what we feel will remain within a certain circle without being afraid if you belong to both that what you say in one may be held against you at the other place.

I liked Mariah. She had some really intelligent things to say. But If I was a member there still, I don't know if I could trust her and truly open up over here. I don't know her like Stephanie did though. All I can do is go by what I know and how I feel. 

[Taka]

okay..

could you please anonymize?

nobody has a need to know who broke the rules or tired you out.
i'd feel much more comfortable if you'd delete the user's name from your post.

something to do with public shaming etc.
and it's not very good to name a private person in public if they can't defend themselves.
slandering or shaming public persons would be something completely different.