Sex Trafficking Deniers - The Next Big Subculture?

[Deleted]

BY RACHEL HAYWIRE

This will be leaked for a short period.

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Some women graduate college and cannot find a job that pays them a living wage. They are exceptionally good at reading body language and understanding social cues. Many of these women become empowered sex workers, describing sex work as the new feminism. They view the sex industry as a thriving place for activism, social justice, and economic growth.

Other women never go to college, or maybe they do. They cannot find jobs that pay them a living wage. On the other hand, they are terrible at reading body language and understanding social cues. Perhaps they are neurodiverse. These women often become sex workers as a last resort. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

I was once one of those women. 

It was over a decade ago, but I still remember it like it was yesterday. I was kicked out of my home, so I became your typical underage stripper. It was all the glory in the movies, even back then. I had a fake ID so I figured why not, right? I would be so badass that I’d be gaming the system, working a job that I wasn’t even old enough to work. That was empowerment!

Or so I thought.

Needless to say, my job as a stripper did not last long. Besides the sexual assault that I consistently faced, I was unable to read the social cues that were required for this profession. Turning my back on stripping, I knew that I could become something more. Perhaps a writer or a musician or even an entrepreneur. Someone who was known for something besides my body. 

I still hear stories of my old friends being locked up behind bars for prostitution. Struggling mothers with drug addictions being thrown in cages for their desperate lifestyle choices. While I could never work in the sex industry again, it makes me sick to know that these women are now behind bars. I would never condemn them.

Yet I recently condemned someone the other day, and it cost me a lot more than I even knew that I had. Her name was Melissa Gira Grant, and the truth is that we have never gotten along. She has made a consistent effort to keep me out of the market, for reasons which are more petty than an episode of Girls. I came across a post in which she said that sex trafficking literally did not exist.

“There is no trafficking,” she boasted.

“Just some people with Green Dot cards and burner phones.”

I took issue with this and made it clear. After all, there is a third type of woman who becomes a sex worker for reasons I did not mention above. I met a few of these women when I was locked up in that juvenile behavioral center as a teenager. Many of them were forced into prostitution by their parents when they were children. Their fathers were literally their pimps. Others were severely disabled with their abusive boyfriends running the show. 

“I was afraid that he would kill me and my daughter if I stopped having sex with his friends,” a young woman of about 17 told me.

“So I called the police and they brought me here.”

This third type of woman = victims of sex trafficking. If you are having sex for money against your own will, you are being sex trafficked. There is nothing fake about sex trafficking. It is not a conspiracy to bring empowerment sex work feminism down. Yet people like Melissa Gira Grant will claim otherwise, doing everything they can to silence dissent. 

A few days ago, Grant went as far as to report me to Twitter for “harassment.” My crime was taking issue with her denial of sex trafficking. I could not understand how someone with so much media power could so blatantly claim that sex trafficking did not exist. My words were considered a bit harsh, but they were certainly not harassment. Perhaps she simply could not admit that poor people existed. Perhaps that would have interfered with her ability to prosper. 

Let’s just call these people what they are: Sex Trafficking Deniers. 

This new branch of feminism is a lot scarier than typical social justice authoritarianism. They deny reality in a way that is reminiscent of Stalinist Russia, and they seem to be growing quite rapidly. This new branch of “even saying something nice about me will cost you money” is becoming very popular, and anyone who dares to challenge it is being run off. 

They hate it when people ask them for interviews. They hate it when people mention their names. They hate it when people promote their work. They hate it when anyone dares to take up their more-valuable-than-time-itself-time without giving them lots and lots of money. They honestly believe themselves to be that special. 

Sex Trafficking Deniers are very concerned about the public relations aspect of the sex industry. They want the public to believe that the entire sex industry is now some ultra-progressive feminist joyride without any problems whatsoever.

They want to keep the appearance of their industry clean, even if this means publicly telling the world that the dirty parts do not exist. Either they are so sheltered that they have never seen the dirty parts, or they think that ignoring the dirty parts will bring them out of existence via the reverse law of attraction.

“If we stop thinking about sex trafficking we stop giving it power. Therefore it will vanish because our minds aren’t giving it any energy.”

Or even worse, they know that sex trafficking exists, but cover it up because they are afraid it will interfere with their ability to be wealthy cosmopolitan sex activists. 

"We must keep our industry polished and clean, ignoring those who are still being trafficked. They will hurt business for us.” 

Sex work does not always = feminism. Sometimes sex work is anything but empowering. Sometimes feminists don’t want to be sex workers. Sometimes sex workers don’t consider themselves feminists. These things happen. In many states, it is considered “degenerate” to be a sex worker. Yet in several, it is glorified as the next big thing. Many women are now being told that if they are not sex workers themselves, they might as well exit feminism entirely. 

Since I am no longer a sex worker, I suppose this means I am no longer a feminist. No, I am considered a harasser now. I said that sex trafficking did indeed exist, and hurt the reputation of the empowerment sex work industry in the process of doing so. I am not sorry for this, but I’m not going to act like the social consequences haven’t been extremely negative. I recently deleted my Twitter account to avoid receiving even more accusations of being a harasser. Could it be that telling the truth wasn’t worth it? I lost a lot more than I gained here. My posts will be private from this point on.

What I did gain was the desire for more privacy than ever, and I hope that this will pay off in the end. I could never write a post like this for the public, and it was one that I really needed to make.

[Sisyphus]

I think that it is hard for some people to live with the conflict of the right to ones own body, sexual empowerment, the right to be treated with dignity regardless of the reason for entering sex work, and the fact that some people are in sex work for reasons that suck, and those reasons should be alleviated. Its as if, in an attempt to run from the stigma and cruel attitude and treatment of sex workers, to run towards rights of sex workers, means one has to run away from the the fact that being a sex worker can suck quite a bit and can be something that someone does not choose for themselves. This, I think, is because so many of those who still demean, and otherwise create a negative and injurious atmosphere for people in sex work, have used the idea of sex trafficking, and control over other people's bodies to cast themselves in the role of savior, and sex work as one hundred percent human trafficking and must be abolished and eradicated, often disempowering sex workers in the guise of helping.

So I see these persons go to the other side that of denial about the difficulties and the complexity of context and reality of sex work. It seems to be about binary boxes where the reality, as you have aptly described (just missing the population of people, as opposed to women, and people who could have a job that pays them a living wage, or otherwise choose to go into sex work divorced from the driver of economics) is far more complex.

I have personal reasons to feel so, but sex trafficker deniers, as you call them, or even people who will deny (that there are people who have entered sex work because they are picking from less than ideal conditions, even if not forced by threat of violence, may demand to be treated with dignity, may support 100% the right and idea of sexual empowerment, while still not being 100% thrilled or comfortable with what they do to bring in money, while still experiencing some very uncomfortable and distressing things in the industry which are NOT, in fact, as some would propose, the same as going to any other job and doing things which you'd rather not do) make me very very frustrated, and bring up some anger for me, because I think they hurt women and other people who do sex work rather than help.

I think you are right that supporting sexual empowerment should not come at the price of ignoring the dark side of what we have now, as developed over thousands of years of complex hierarchies and historical structures, that 70 years of feminism is not going to make disappear overnight.

I'm about to go on a rant of my own, so I will end it there.

I just wanted to say thank you for your articulation.

[Deleted]

That's my friend's article that she wanted me to pass along. Glad you enjoyed.

[Deleted]

I think there is a fine line between the trafficking and empowerment. When I was overseas, Oh yeah. I made a little extra money. I wasn't forced to and if the military ever found out then I would have been in some pretty big trouble. In the land of the orient, round eyes and lighter hair was a benefit. Yeah I had to wear a wig and I found one close to my natural hair color. I shaved and used the excuse of hyperhidrosis. I still got made fun of by the other guys and girls in the unit while doing PT but for some reason the girls that laughed always wanted to get with me. HMM, that's a thinker now, ain't it? You would be surprised at how many guys from the US hit on me with the DADT policy enacted.

But yeah it was my choice. I was a prostitute. I will never feel shame for that because I chose to do it. A lot of girls in the country, and most will know what country that is from the old sight, were sold into it and I really felt for them. The "Madam" that hired me and helped me way off post and away from any Americans had some girls that it wasn't their choice and she really took care of them with minimal effects to them. There was another American with blonde hair and pure female that I worked with. But when a guy come in wanting a little more, then he was mine and there were quite a few. Maybe 45/55. But it was her choice and my choice and we knew each other really well. As a matter of fact she was bi and I was bi and we would get paid double sometimes. We would make out with each other and then go to our own rooms.

I hated the fucking wig but I had to be male 5 out of 7 days and the American Military and their BS regulations for men and hair styles suck. 2 days I was me most of the time. Oh well. I had sex for money. It was my choice. For those that isn't their choice then that is really fucked up and a crime against them.

BTW this is something I have not told very many people.

But the girls that were sold and thank God for Mama san and her compassion. She took care of these girls. Some as young as 14 and never used them as prostitutes. I have nothing but respect for this older woman at the time for what she did. I had the choice. My female counterpart had the choice and we chose. We were taken care of really well by Mama San. We had luxury rooms on the weekend whether we "worked" or not and quite a few times we didn't. But me and this other girl had fun on our own regardless. Sometimes times were slow but her and I always had fun. Either from free drinks or getting freaky. Did I mention that I hated wearing a wig?

As an after thought. I always got in trouble the whole four years because of my hair. :rolleyes:Really? Well I should have had the same dress code as the females. But being trans seems to be taboo in the military. They talk of lice and I say bullshit. I never had lice even in school with long hair. So a big BS. To me it was more about stripping one of one's individuality. That is worst than prostitution by one's own will or sex trafficking in my opinion. Yeah I chose to do it, joining the military that is, I also chose to be a kept woman with four different men the whole two years overseas. After 6 months I had 4 special clients because I was special because of my "uniqueness". Somehow quite a few guys like that. My female counterpart was pretty lucky but not as lucky as I was. It really is a fucked up world and I have never opened up to anyone like this before.

So I guess this makes me a whore or hooker or prostitute? I will own it. Oh well. Just another name out of many. But I chose it. My female counterpart chose to do it. Some of the young girls that dididn't choose it, we were extremely protective of. Mama San was a really good woman. The younger ones waited tables and the older ones had the rooms upstairs.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that my greed and the extra cash made my decision for me but it was mine. No one else's. I could have said no to Mama San and nothing would have been done to me for saying no. But I said yes.

Sex traffiking should be clamped down on globally but willing prostitution shoul be legalized in my own opinion.

[Deleted]

Just makes you Jamie.

And a very honest heart at that.

[Deleted]

Sept 2, 2015 11:36:04 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Just makes you Jamie.

And a very honest heart at that.

Yeah I guess it does make me who I am or at least shaped a part of my attitude and or personality and why I can easily tell someone to kiss my ass. Live hard and you become hard (get Ya'lls minds out of the gutter ).

Not really proud of it other than I did what I had to do to survive and no one pushed me into it. Not ashamed of it either. I chose to do it but there are those that don't and that is the sad part. But sex trafficking and taking advantage of genetic females, transgenders, gay or even straight is really immoral but in some countries it is customary or unfortunately some countries a daughter is no more than a hindrance and another mouth to feed when they want sons so badly. That sucks and is something these people that regard other's that way will have to make up for eventually. It should be against the law but where is the UN on this subject? Face time is one thing but actually doing something about it is another.

Not just sex trafficking but some cultures where women are nothing more than objects. In some countries man can commit adultery but a woman is executed or maimed because of it. In some cultures prostitution is illegal but if there wasn't a market for it then there wouldn't be prostitution. Trans or cis. That is free market principles just like the porn industry. But everyone seems to always act high and mighty but I have seen more preachers in the brothels than in the confessionals. That is cool. I don't care what they do but I do hate hypocrisy though. Spend Saturday night at the "Ranch" and Sunday morning preaching how bad these women are immoral. Really? Yeah I love Nevada and this is one place where it al collides sometimes. Or how about a priest hitting on you because you are "pretty" but not quite female? Does that break their vow of celibacy? What about them choking the chicken? If they didn't they probably couldn't even walk because it would be too painful.

We always have choices. The choices I made was easy money and way more than the military provided and I stand by it. Sex sells. That is the honest truth about human beings. We see it everywhere from underwear adds to vacation adds like Sandals. We see it in clothing adds, food adds. We are bombarded with it in undertones in movies, TV shows, and everywhere else we look.

Sex trafficking does exist and it is horrible and immoral and anyone that is forced to do it for promises of something more against their will is a crime. Actually a sin. What I did was totally my choices. I do own those choices and if I wouldn't then I would be a victim.

Don't get me wrong. If anything is against your will is a crime. The people perpetrating it should be locked away. But some do it willingly because the market is there. But it is a shame that the ones that visit "the market" are always the first to deny it and condemn those that have provided a "service" for them.

[Deleted]

What gets me is the folk that get desperate and go there, sell their bodies.

Why we as a group so badly need protection, recognition and respect, self and other.

Desperation drives you to many things...

[Deleted]

Sept 10, 2015 7:47:08 GMT 8 Trinity said:

What gets me is the folk that get desperate and go there, sell their bodies.

Why we as a group so badly need protection, recognition and respect, self and other.

Desperation drives you to many things...

Yeah going there in desperation is one thing. Going there as a feeling of empowerment is another. It has never bothered me and still doesn't and probably never will. I did it for my own reasons. In this we are no different than ciswomen. Some can handle it and others can't.

If you sell your body whether cis or LGBT out of depsperation it will cause some problems. There are plenty of ciswomen that have had a hard time with this. Then there are ciswomen and transwomen and cismen and transmen that are thriving. They would have been freaks like me regardless.  I have no regrets. I was always safe and selective. And to me that is the whole name of the game. If you can't be selective then it isn't worth it. I really hate to say it but the LGBTs can be extremely selective maybe even more so than cis. You just have to be in the right places.

[Valerie]

That's an extremely important article, and something your friend definitely something should have written about, and talked about. People don't realize how sex trafficking is widely still going on! And ignoring it or saying it doesn't exist isn't going to to stop it from happening. It's going to happen no matter! Even some people are born and sold into sex trafficking and grow up in it. There are children who are specifically procreated for sex trafficking. It's a serious problem that more people need to realize is going on. And as others pointed out some people are forced into by parents or spouses or who their dating. People are forced or threatened into it. It's life or death for them. And ignoring it and acting like it doesn't exist makes them apart of the problem because they're willingly and knowingly turning their backs on trafficking victims.

It's also definitely a real issue that homeless LGBTQIA+ youth have to resort to for survival. Homeless youth have to resort to survival sex and prostitution just to survive. It's life or death and not a choice.

Now i can completely understand, and jump on the sex working for a living bandwagon. If it's that persons choice then it's no body elses business. And i do agree and believe it should be legalized. Money is money and it doesn't matter how you get it.

I've never actually had sex for money, but i have done camshows just to try and make money while looking for a job. It was decent money, and i enjoyed it. I also currently have a side job as of now at this bar where I'm an UnderwearBoi, where I'm just in my underwear and flirt with the bar patrons and talk to them and let them feel me up for tips. It's decent extra money, and i have fun. Although, there are a few times were guys have been pushy or hold tightly onto me or just completely creep the hell outta me! Or just be too rough, or get overly too handsy. But whatever i make do. I myself have actually contemplated escorting, and i almost made a profile on rentboy. Thank god i didn't though! Omfg, i feel so lucky, and like that was a close one, heh.

Although, one thing that makes no sense about the whole rentboy raid is why did they raid it and shut it down now? It's been up online since the late 90s. Why raid it now ?

But yea, resorting to sex work certainly does have it's up and downs. The ups obviously being the money! But the downside is the amount of times people assault, rape, and take advantage of you. Plus, the anxiety of wondering if you'll live or die. Who knows if someone is going to kill you or beat you? It's not really all that glamorous. But it's money, and money is hard to come by.

Although, i certainly do hate it when people slut shame and shame sex workers in general. Like why is it always the sex workers that are shamed and look down on? But the clients don't get any sort of shame or disapproval. It's such a double standard.

Sorry about the really really long response. >_<