Things to do when dysphoria hits

[Deleted]

I don't have a very long list when it comes to this. I usually feel like nothing seems interesting or fun enough to bother with; just overall unmotivated and reclusive. I try to keep myself busy with half a dozen social networks, listening to music, reposting and reblogging things on Facebook and Tumblr, writing a ton on various topics (except for things that are trans-related), and sometimes playing in Photoshop. I'm in one of those periods right now. Not even sleep seems attractive, because then I might end up dreaming about something depressing. So, I load myself with caffeine and stay up between 16 and 24 hours before finally just crashing out.

I know that I look passable enough in the photos that I post on here, but it's all a matter of lighting, angles and touch-ups. My face is nowhere near what I'd like it to be. After losing a ton of weight I ended up with sunken cheeks, and to me that is unsightly. I'm really hoping that by gaining my weight back they will fill in.

Anyway, what are the things you do to keep yourself distracted? What works better than others? I don't have much of a social life so I'm alone most of the time. I would really feel a lot better if I had people to hang out with more often, but my friends either live too far away or have just dropped off the map. Making new ones isn't the easiest thing for me. I need to feel good about my life while transitioning, and right now everything just feels stagnant and dull.

[Deleted]

[Deleted]

To distract?

I post. And post. And spin a thread. And post again. And again.

And breathe, and be, and dream.

And if all else fails, I screw the daylights out of myself.

[Ativan Prescribed]

Little bursts of meditation. Those tries of doing it for any set length of time or trying to extend it defies it's purpose to me.
Mindfulness is the target, to bring order back into the order that I am most comfortable in.
Dysphoria can come from things taken out of order, to find them not quite where they should be.
We are all whole, it is just recognizing the order or connections each part plays in this.
If it seems a part of me is missing, I go and find it again, reconnect it with the rest, it brings importance to that part and keeps it from being felt as if lost or not there.
Being mindful of this, of the moment in time that I'm in helps.
It's not about the mood I am in, but whether it fits the moment.

[Deleted]

I was a bit flippant.

I nurture the dysphoric part.

I blend, let my components coexist.

I let her out.

I remind myself I am Sh'e, body and mind.

I rest in this and don't resist.

And so much more, later, to write.

At work gotta go

[EchelonHunt]

I delve into my art programs to drawn and let my creative side flow freely.

I pat my kitties and play with them.

I sometimes play video games or watch Pewdiepie.

I throw myself into studies and work.

I make healthy habits and stick to them, I use my transition goals as effective reminders to keep myself on track.

I talk to my therapist and psychiatrist.

I sleep and dream among the stars.

Previously this helped me with my depression, now it helps me keep the dysphoria at bay.

[Deleted]

There is a billboard with a thin, long haired beauty in a black c cup bikini that I drive by every day to work.

She has the body I want to be. I'm pretty binary on the body side of this stuff.

Used to trigger bad.

Now, I affirm, that's my body now, I am becoming h'er, it's a matter of time.

Same with women jogging in short shorts. First, dysphoria bites hard every time, then hey, you have those legs now, wear the shorts it's you... and it stings less.

I have no desire to play with dolls, bear children, push carriages. To engage in some of the strange social rituals ciswomen do. I am not personally a woman.

But knowing my goals, and how to get there, and that I am well on my way, helps me with that dysphoria.

And presenting as a transgendered Mtf androgyne at work helps to.

Now if my hair would grow in.


I suspect one day I'll go in wigged, in jeans. Because Sh'e is I.

But knowing I am on this journey, and taking fear off the table, that helps me. And hyperawareness of my gender centers and what we.they.I need.

Erin, your journey is unfolding.

Enjoy the transformation into your truth.

Can't watch the video yet. Time, people, boundaries. Wifey time. I think I'll unleash Sh'e on her I need h'er to get laid.

Blessings

Trinity Satinjoy

[Deleted]

I will be visiting a place here in Houston called The Montrose Center. They are an organisation for helping out the LGBT community. They have licensed therapists there, and I plan on seeing one soon. They can also help me get back on Medicaid which is something I need badly. I don't know anyone in person who I can talk to about transition the way I can with all of you here, and I need that. Discussing things online is helpful, but it's more helpful in person.

[Emily]

- Thinking about my daughter (dysphoria never comes close when she is around) - sometimes I wonder if she is the only one which keeps me running, so having her pictures and videos can be priceless;
- "suiting up" and go outside for 10k evening run;
- going through various "tempting" possibilities just to remember that by an old habit I dont keep too many pills in the same place;
- returning to the office premises, switching alarm off and enjoying surrounding silence and emptiness (and getting some stuff done too!);
- curling up under the blanket, listening to silence before passing out as another lonely night goes by.

Sometimes, I still wonder - for how much longer I am going to last?

[Taka]

my daughter is the only thing that keeps me going.
the only one i care about enough that i can't try any easy solutions.
can't run away, in any way, at all.
forces me to take all challenges head on, it's the only way to deal with them.