Hello! I’m KK.

[kk]

Hello everyone.

My name is KK, I’m NB, pansexual, asexual (insofar as I have a low interest or desire for a physical relationship) & I’m still very confused. I’ve ALWAYS been confused!
As a kid, people assumed I was gay because I’d dress as any gender & I would like whoever I liked. I guess I was told to stop this, so I just presented as straight(ish) male. I’m generally more attracted to women, but maybe a big part of that is that I want to be much more fem myself. I dress however I like at home, but still keep it very safe & boring outside.

I was an alcoholic for about twenty years, time spent denying & suppressing how I felt, subconsciously but deliberately(?) sabotaging any chance of finding someone to love. I chose to stop dating twelve years ago & have been desperately lonely since. I quit drinking & smoking five years ago & I’ve recently admitted who/what I am to my closet friends. It’s been a very long & emotional process, & it seems like no matter how many positive steps I take, there are always more difficulties ahead.
I finally thought I was ready to start dating again, but it’s very daunting after such a long break — especially having to explain being NB — & it’s triggering / exacerbating several mental health problems for me. I’m doing everything possible to keep on top of this (therapy, healthy diet, exercise, meditation, etc) but I’m still really struggling to cope & understand it all.
It’s been lovely reading some of the conversations you all have had, & it’s wonderful to know that there are some genuinely nice people out there who care for & support others. I already feel a little better just for being here, so thank you all for having me ❤️

KK

[Ativan Prescribed]

But it's a process for virtually everyone, yours simply includes being NB.
Imagine how hard it must be to keep up the facade of masculinity or feminine during these times where it has to be taken at some degree of extreme for a lot of people.
Life is a struggle for most people regardless so you really are either better off or in a similar boat as others, everyone has self doubt about most aspects of their life, even if they never say so.
Stay healthy, eat well, eat the things that keep you the healthiest.
Exercise when you can and just enjoy life, and yah there are some very down to earth people on here, its been quiet since republicans have been running wild as well as amok, ignore them and keep moving forward.
There is no special or one way to be, life as NB is as diversified as it is for anyone, it takes all kinds and I have never met anyone who is the same as anyone else.
That in mind, if you are looking for an answer to particular questions, the best you might get is a lot of different ones and any questions.
But people are always talking without asking questions and people are always comparing and giving advice, this place is an ongoing conversation for some, for others it's just a place to hang out.
There isn't anything magical or mystical going on as NB, its, more of an understanding than a place of knowledge, but the active people on here do have a great deal of knowledge just the same.
Hang around, talk about this and that, ask questions if you want, give advice if you care to, read the back pages and think of it here as a place to get away once in a while...

[Leena]

Hi KK! Welcome to the forum!

Everyone thought I was gay since before I even knew what gay meant. Having lots of girlfriends usually shut that up, though a lot of my ex-girlfriends thought I was closeted gay too once they got to know me.

I hate trying to explain nonbinary to cis people, so I don't really do it. I'm kind of on the blurry line between nonbinary and binary trans, and if people just perceive me as a woman, then I don't have to talk about it.

[Trinity]

Dec 3, 2023 0:05:25 GMT 8 kk said:

Hello everyone.

My name is KK, I’m NB, pansexual, asexual (insofar as I have a low interest or desire for a physical relationship) & I’m still very confused. I’ve ALWAYS been confused!
As a kid, people assumed I was gay because I’d dress as any gender & I would like whoever I liked. I guess I was told to stop this, so I just presented as straight(ish) male. I’m generally more attracted to women, but maybe a big part of that is that I want to be much more fem myself. I dress however I like at home, but still keep it very safe & boring outside.

I was an alcoholic for about twenty years, time spent denying & suppressing how I felt, subconsciously but deliberately(?) sabotaging any chance of finding someone to love. I chose to stop dating twelve years ago & have been desperately lonely since. I quit drinking & smoking five years ago & I’ve recently admitted who/what I am to my closet friends. It’s been a very long & emotional process, & it seems like no matter how many positive steps I take, there are always more difficulties ahead.
I finally thought I was ready to start dating again, but it’s very daunting after such a long break — especially having to explain being NB — & it’s triggering / exacerbating several mental health problems for me. I’m doing everything possible to keep on top of this (therapy, healthy diet, exercise, meditation, etc) but I’m still really struggling to cope & understand it all.
It’s been lovely reading some of the conversations you all have had, & it’s wonderful to know that there are some genuinely nice people out there who care for & support others. I already feel a little better just for being here, so thank you all for having me ❤️

KK

Welcome.

Yes this place can be great for emotional support etc etc.  Also, we are no strangers to the things you have described, all of them.  Some or all of us have been there.  Trust me on that.

Stick around and share a bit.  You are not alone.

[francxs]

Welcome!

[kk]

Dec 3, 2023 9:25:15 GMT 8 Ativan Prescribed said:

But it's a process for virtually everyone, yours simply includes being NB.
Imagine how hard it must be to keep up the facade of masculinity or feminine during these times where it has to be taken at some degree of extreme for a lot of people.
Life is a struggle for most people regardless so you really are either better off or in a similar boat as others, everyone has self doubt about most aspects of their life, even if they never say so.
Stay healthy, eat well, eat the things that keep you the healthiest.
Exercise when you can and just enjoy life, and yah there are some very down to earth people on here, its been quiet since republicans have been running wild as well as amok, ignore them and keep moving forward.
There is no special or one way to be, life as NB is as diversified as it is for anyone, it takes all kinds and I have never met anyone who is the same as anyone else.
That in mind, if you are looking for an answer to particular questions, the best you might get is a lot of different ones and any questions.
But people are always talking without asking questions and people are always comparing and giving advice, this place is an ongoing conversation for some, for others it's just a place to hang out.
There isn't anything magical or mystical going on as NB, its, more of an understanding than a place of knowledge, but the active people on here do have a great deal of knowledge just the same.
Hang around, talk about this and that, ask questions if you want, give advice if you care to, read the back pages and think of it here as a place to get away once in a while...

Thank you all.
It really means a lot to me to be welcomed.
It’s such a shame that “it’s been quiet (here) since republicans have been running wild as well as amok.” I’ve noticed a significant increase of negativity towards the 🏳️‍🌈 community in my own life recently, so it’s easy to forget that there is love & support out there for everyone.

I’m normally a very positive & caring person, I’ve just been completely overwhelmed recently.
I would love definite answers to a lot of questions, to build a solid foundation at my feet, but there really are very few things we can be sure of in life besides death & taxes. I don’t like uncertainty, it scares the bejesus out me sometimes, yet it is unavoidable. For me, the best thing to do is get advice from places like this, where people have true knowledge & personal experience. I know you can’t give me the answers — that would be cheating! — but you can definitely give me a lot to think about & point me in the right direction.

[Ativan Prescribed]

Of course people here can give you answers, but they are based on each person's personal experience, and the range of experience is pretty wide and diverse.
That doesn't mean you can't take those answers and build on them, combine them, use them to get to the answers that work for you.
Personally, I tend to thrive on uncertainty and chaos, it's in the storm that you find the best shelter, during times of sunny skies its hard to imagine a shelter being good.
It takes a rain storm to know where the leaks are going to be...
Take the step forward even if you are unsure, to stand in place because the next step might fail, you're just going nowhere, if it does fail, you at least know where you just stepped.
Thats the value of others opinions even if they don't fit you, you know the direction that is better for yourself, countless times what works for another isn't going to work for you, it narrows down what will.
This is the value of having people speak out about what works for them, to give you that something to think about and hopefully a good direction to take.
But its not limited to just NB here, even things like this or that coffee and what coffee maker, etc..
Just the sense of belonging can help an otherwise difficult day.

[Trinity]

Dec 6, 2023 1:45:50 GMT 8 Ativan Prescribed said:

Just the sense of belonging can help an otherwise difficult day.

This.^

Can save lives, and has.  Saved mine, long ago.

We are not alone.

And its different here, on forum.  Especially this place.  Way safer than facebook, and you can speak your mind.  No right or wrong ways, or prescribed rules.  Listeners with voices.

Diverse tiny group too.