Confused newbie here excited to learn and grow :)

[ray185]

Hi all ☺️

My name is Ray and I am 24 years old. I am at a pretty confusing stage in my life and have been feeling pretty lost. Up till this point I have always been referred to as female but never really felt comfortable with it . I've only just started really exploring my gender and feel at the moment I identify more with being genderfluid. I'm excited and scared to start my journey and look forward to learning more.

I've also have been struggling with an eating disorder as well for a few years and am terrified of gaining weight and having a more 'feminie' physique. I feel scared to truly open to the people around me about this and worry I will never be able to recover or enjoy life if I don't. I was just wondering if anyone else is dealing with a similar issue and has any advice.

Thank you for allowing me to join this forum and I really appreciate any advice or help I can get ♥.

[Trinity]

Nov 28, 2022 9:54:50 GMT 8 ray185 said:

Hi all ☺️

My name is Ray and I am 24 years old. I am at a pretty confusing stage in my life and have been feeling pretty lost. Up till this point I have always been referred to as female but never really felt comfortable with it . I've only just started really exploring my gender and feel at the moment I identify more with being genderfluid. I'm excited and scared to start my journey and look forward to learning more.

I've also have been struggling with an eating disorder as well for a few years and am terrified of gaining weight and having a more 'feminie' physique. I feel scared to truly open to the people around me about this and worry I will never be able to recover or enjoy life if I don't. I was just wondering if anyone else is dealing with a similar issue and has any advice.

Thank you for allowing me to join this forum and I really appreciate any advice or help I can get ♥.

Welcome!

I'm afraid I don't have that much of a common reference on this one.  But the fear thing, trust, all that stuff, yah, we've all been there I think.

Biggest thing is being honest with ourselves, for me, that the crucial part of it all.

[Leena]

Hi Ray!

I considered myself genderfluid for a very long time. I no longer do because the steps I took to ever really be perceived as a woman made me unable to reliably be perceived as a man. Having people gender me based on my presentation was never in the cards for me, but some people are able to pull it off. What is it about starting your journey that you are scared about?

Some things it's kind of better to not be open about unfortunately. A lot of people have their own ideas that may not be helpful about weight especially it seems.

[Ativan Prescribed]

Coming to terms for yourself is always a difficult thing and lately its even harder because republicans have made it a political thing when it comes to gender.
I kinda think they are mostly trying to hide something along the lines of being LGBTQ themselves and are way to afraid of their republican party and what it is doing to people.
The porn industry keeps pretty close tabs on who is watching what kind of porn and where, seems like republicans love their trans porn all to hell, which supports my idea that they are trying to hide from themselves.
And thats the thing, you can't hide from yourself, you can try all you want and you might hide things about yourself from others, but at the end of the day, you are who you are regardless.
You accomplish the most about self perception when you treat it like everything else, when its difficult you push through as far as you can and keep doing that for as long as it takes, getting to the other side has its rewards.
While some things are always going to be nobody's business but your own, there is no reason you have to adapt a outward appearance of not allowing others to just be themselves, the more you allow the more you are allowed yourself.
Don't go along with others wrong points of view about gender or any LGBTQ thing, they can have their opinions and everyone is allowed to be wrong for all the wrong reasons, just don't follow the crowd there, if you do you just end up somewhere thats crowded with others who go along because they are not self assured enough to have their own opinions, the problem with republicans in general, the original sheep political party and it shows.
The more accepting of others you can be the more acceptance you will receive from others and the biggest hurdle in life is being accepted regardless, reality is... you have to be very screwed up to not be accepted by others as who you are.
Gender is not up there with stealing and murder and any forms of violence, except if you unless you are a republican and then you have to take that stance of your shit doesn't stink and at the very least blame your farts on the dog and liberals.
And yet you are required to be an asshole just to be a republican, they have longed blamed their inadequate lives on everyone else because they are either too stupid or too lazy or even both to realize what is wrong with them is themselves.
So pretty much ignore that half of the country that is more ignorant than the average, realize that someone has to be and they are simply not worth the effort to explain how the world works or life works or why the earth isn't flat, forget trying to explain chemtrails to them.

[Yuki]

Nov 28, 2022 9:54:50 GMT 8 ray185 said:

Hi all ☺️

My name is Ray and I am 24 years old. I am at a pretty confusing stage in my life and have been feeling pretty lost. Up till this point I have always been referred to as female but never really felt comfortable with it . I've only just started really exploring my gender and feel at the moment I identify more with being genderfluid. I'm excited and scared to start my journey and look forward to learning more.

I've also have been struggling with an eating disorder as well for a few years and am terrified of gaining weight and having a more 'feminie' physique. I feel scared to truly open to the people around me about this and worry I will never be able to recover or enjoy life if I don't. I was just wondering if anyone else is dealing with a similar issue and has any advice.

Thank you for allowing me to join this forum and I really appreciate any advice or help I can get ♥.

I am a few days late, but in case you see this anyway, I also dealt with an eating disorder when I was a couple years younger than you. That’s a hard thing.. since everyone’s situation with that is different and it takes a lot of work to get past it. I never told anyone either. For me, it just kind of bounced around to different ways of having disordered eating and over exercising and didn’t truly get better until I was around people who loved me for me, which made me want to do better.

I think at the end of the day, you really have to learn to at least be okay with yourself, however you need to go about doing that. And I don’t necessarily mean you have to be okay with your body, like a lot of people say. I don’t particularly like mine. But I’ve accepted who I am, and that my body does not dictate who I am or my worth. If that makes sense. I think it’s more about bringing the focus away from your body entirely, and whether or not you like how it looks, and focus on other parts of what makes you you.

I still hate my body. But I see it for what it is: I need it to live. It’s important. So, I take care of it now whether I like how it looks or not. I need it. If I want to see all of the places I want to see, experience all of the things I want to experience, and maybe one day even get it to look how I would like it to look if I’m lucky enough, I have to take care of it.

That’s the best advice I have, from someone who somehow managed to get past that mess without going through therapy. Which, I generally wouldn’t recommend doing it without therapy… But if it’s your only option, like it was for me, that’s how I ended up doing it.