Post by freq on Jul 13, 2022 7:57:39 GMT 8
Hello everyone! I should probably introduce myself properly though I already said most of the below in JT's Pride thread (so apologies to anyone who's reading it twice)...
I'm biologically male and in my late 50s and it has taken me a lifetime to get to the point of thinking of myself as nonbinary (feels good though!)
I was often mistaken for a girl when I was a child, and even up to the age of 15. I'd been fantasising about being female since age 8 and as I grew up I loved secretly dressing in female clothes and wearing makeup in school drama productions. But since I only had crushes on girls, and was only sexually attracted to girls, I just concluded I was a transvestite and left it that.
Since then I've been married twice and I am currently going through my second divorce. Both of my wives were amazing women who meant the world to me. And both of them indulged and even encouraged my occasional crossdressing. But I have come to think that my gender identity issues were a big part of the reason why both marriages eventually broke down.
When my second marriage hit trouble I started counselling with a transfemale therapist. The outcome was confusing though, because although my "trans" tendencies seemed stronger than my marriages could accommodate, it also seemed clear that transitioning would not be right for me.
Since separating from my wife I've been meeting with a wonderful nonbinary support worker via a local LGBTQ group, and things have finally fallen into place. For the first time I've plucked up the courage to go out in public presenting as fully female - which has felt amazing. But a big part of it is the realisation that I don't absolutely have to "pass" as female. In fact I am quite happy with a bit of ambiguity, as long as I'm doing it competently.
I'm lucky that I have never felt significant dysphoria. But while I don't hate my biological maleness, I am repulsed by many (not all) aspects of traditional masculinity, and I don't don't think I can live without the euphoria that comes from leaving it behind.
So despite my age it's early days for me personally, and I still have a lot of exploring to do. What I feel I need now more than anything else is some nonbinary friends and the chance to talk to people who might have had similar experiences and landed in a similar place - even if most of them got there a lot sooner and less chaotically.
Be well.
Love to all 💖
I'm biologically male and in my late 50s and it has taken me a lifetime to get to the point of thinking of myself as nonbinary (feels good though!)
I was often mistaken for a girl when I was a child, and even up to the age of 15. I'd been fantasising about being female since age 8 and as I grew up I loved secretly dressing in female clothes and wearing makeup in school drama productions. But since I only had crushes on girls, and was only sexually attracted to girls, I just concluded I was a transvestite and left it that.
Since then I've been married twice and I am currently going through my second divorce. Both of my wives were amazing women who meant the world to me. And both of them indulged and even encouraged my occasional crossdressing. But I have come to think that my gender identity issues were a big part of the reason why both marriages eventually broke down.
When my second marriage hit trouble I started counselling with a transfemale therapist. The outcome was confusing though, because although my "trans" tendencies seemed stronger than my marriages could accommodate, it also seemed clear that transitioning would not be right for me.
Since separating from my wife I've been meeting with a wonderful nonbinary support worker via a local LGBTQ group, and things have finally fallen into place. For the first time I've plucked up the courage to go out in public presenting as fully female - which has felt amazing. But a big part of it is the realisation that I don't absolutely have to "pass" as female. In fact I am quite happy with a bit of ambiguity, as long as I'm doing it competently.
I'm lucky that I have never felt significant dysphoria. But while I don't hate my biological maleness, I am repulsed by many (not all) aspects of traditional masculinity, and I don't don't think I can live without the euphoria that comes from leaving it behind.
So despite my age it's early days for me personally, and I still have a lot of exploring to do. What I feel I need now more than anything else is some nonbinary friends and the chance to talk to people who might have had similar experiences and landed in a similar place - even if most of them got there a lot sooner and less chaotically.
Be well.
Love to all 💖