Straight man who likes to look and living as a woman

[danishcouple]

m.youtube.com/watch?v=dhawkcuDl_o

[danishcouple]

Are out there more males who identify themselves as straigt males but who are esthetical living as females?
I know a vieuw but not so much as females who identify tem self as female but living in a more maleish way

[Leena]

Can this even work for someone that is older? I didn't have problems dating as feminine long haired guy when I was a teenager, but after a certain age, cishet women seem to only be interested in masculine men.

I never really felt like I was a straight guy, and neither did most people who got to know me, though I still labeled myself as one for quite awhile. Talking and acting like one just doesn't come natural to me. I don't like that society has exactly one way a straight guy over 25ish can talk and act, but cishet women just weren't into pre-transition me once I became an adult, and definitely aren't into me now. In retrospect though, it saved me the pain most trans women who managed to marry cishet women experience.

[Ativan Prescribed]

I just never labeled myself, I left it open to whatever people wanted to think because they are going to anyways.
I mean I shaved a lot of my body even in high school when back then people had hairy crotches, I just shaved mine a couple time a year just because I felt like it, I didn't label it as anything.
Later when I was like twenty I was working in central america and coming in from the field meant showering for the first time in several days in a hot and humid place, and I shaved my body and face during those showers, but most of the guys coming in from the field were shpowering as well, at first they wondered, but I reminded them that having a lot of hair on yourself just means you are going to stink that much more, and for most of us, we didn't want to be outed by our stink by the bad guys.
So I had these big burly (some of them) overly masculine guys shaving their bodies as well, it just became a thing, no labels again, nobody much cared anyways so long as you had their backs, a very important thing in that line of work.
Later I just lived as I pleased and never minded that I could give a guy that look where he just knew or thought he knew that things are not always what they seem to be, words and looks can be taken in so many different ways.
But everyone kinda figured I was straight and assumed that in how they treated me most of the time, but I got called a fag and gay and just laughed and said sure why not?
Women I dated figured out that I had a most definite feminine side and they liked it, a boyfriend and a girl friend of sorts at the same time, I just went with it.
The biggest problem people have is labels, they do all sorts of dancing around things to keep from getting a label, even if it fits, nobody wants that label that might give them a reputation or something, people are more afraid of labels than they are of people.
Its like making that determination of a persons gender first thing, mostly so they can do the standard you treat this gender that way and that gender this way, why not treat people as people instead?
But society is filled with labels that are for the most part basically useless because unless you actually know 100% for a fact and have even asked, you don't know who someone is.
You go about life and ignore the labels and you have a much better life and people like that you don't see them as a label and you see and treat them like people.

[Leena]

I don't know how you managed to not label yourself, I often find myself forced to, even if it's not the right one for me.

To be clear, I was forced to label myself as a straight guy because I otherwise was going to be labeled as a gay guy. Although I knew I was trans, I didn't think it was possible for me to transition. I couldn't defend being a gay guy, because I agreed with them, why would I want to be with a hairy guy when I could be with a woman?

I kind of feel like I was forced to label myself as nonbinary by the other place though too. I'm very much binary aligned, I just wasn't ready to transition, and the idea of a trans woman not dropping everything right then and there to see a therapist and get the ball rolling blew their minds.

[Ativan Prescribed]

To me your real label is Leena and I do use the Ativan label here.
But its like a name calling thing and people do it to themselves as well, it can work but it can be limiting in expressing who you actually are.
It kinda goes back to what I have said in the past when someone labels you with a less than stellar label, my response is "Yes I Am'.
There is no need for further discussion and it usually ends the conversation right there unless they want to play the escalation game with a barrage of just more labels, same response from me.
I mean how many labels actually say what they mean and how many are accurate and how many are the perfect label, it just isn't a thing of importance really.
People are going to label you regardless, why buy into it? You label people and yet do you base the entirety of that person with that label?
Labels for things are one thing, a can of peas and carrots for instance, a helpful label, but like cars and trucks and more, is a label of viper really that helpful for a car? If it was a real viper it might be, even just partially like a viper I suppose...
Labels are basically a name calling exercise when it comes to people, you can slap murderer on someone but does that mean that is all they are? It might be all you want to know but really, there is probably a person under that label.
And thats the thing about using labels, you really are either name calling or just describing a very narrow part of that persons existence, its like looking at a dog and calling it a dog, it probably has a lot more going for it but everyone knows what a dog is.
But when it comes to people, labels are really nothing more than name calling whether by someone or by yourself, I mean I could label myself as say like old bastard, and so could you use that label on me and I would agree but we all know there is more to the story, it doesn't end at old bastard.
When a person is brought down to the level of a label, it is no better than bringing them down to the level of a can of peas and carrots.
And people are going to have some idea whether right or wrong about everyone else they meet, and if it doesn't agree with me why fight that, instead I just agree and let them feel the fool for using some dumbass label on me to begin with.
My label here is Ativan.

[wilkinsonlj50]

Feb 28, 2022 5:40:51 GMT 8 Leena said:

Can this even work for someone that is older? I didn't have problems dating as feminine long haired guy when I was a teenager, but after a certain age, cishet women seem to only be interested in masculine men.

I never really felt like I was a straight guy, and neither did most people who got to know me, though I still labeled myself as one for quite awhile. Talking and acting like one just doesn't come natural to me. I don't like that society has exactly one way a straight guy over 25ish can talk and act, but cishet women just weren't into pre-transition me once I became an adult, and definitely aren't into me now. In retrospect though, it saved me the pain most trans women who managed to marry cishet women experience.

[wilkinsonlj50]

Mar 22, 2022 1:36:25 GMT 8 wilkinsonlj50 said:

Feb 28, 2022 5:40:51 GMT 8 Leena said:

Can this even work for someone that is older? I didn't have problems dating as feminine long haired guy when I was a teenager, but after a certain age, cishet women seem to only be interested in masculine men.

I never really felt like I was a straight guy, and neither did most people who got to know me, though I still labeled myself as one for quite awhile. Talking and acting like one just doesn't come natural to me. I don't like that society has exactly one way a straight guy over 25ish can talk and act, but cishet women just weren't into pre-transition me once I became an adult, and definitely aren't into me now. In retrospect though, it saved me the pain most trans women who managed to marry cishet women experience.

I know a transgender woman who was married to a cisgender woman for 33 years, and it was very difficult for her. She didn't come out as trans until she was 53 and divorced, and now lives as a woman with her girlfriend of two years. I know that some cisgender women are definitely into transgender women and accept them fully, but I don't know how common that is. I am not cisgender and am attracted exclusively to transgender women. I have read sometimes on the internet that the LGBTQ community generally doesn't approve of that. I hope that's not true, because I'm hoping to find a place in that community and make friends.

[Ativan Prescribed]

There are no rules and I would seriously not associate with people who make up silly rules about such stuff.
Are you attracted to tran women because they are trans women or are you just thinking it is something you would like, I mean its about the person and not about anything else really, you're just lessening the available pool of possible people you could have a relationship with.
What if you met someone who was not a transwoman and you really hit it off, would you not consider them as a possible relationship type?
See it sounds like you have a silly rule yourself and are afraid that the community has some silly rule, which kinda makes the entire point rather silly, don't you think?
Are you just fishing for a transwoman or something along that line?
The best relationships are not based on sex and especially not based of sexual organs of a certain type, they are based of a overall commonality and sex is just something you find common ground with, what a person is as far as trans or NB or cis shouldn't matter.
Perhaps what you are concerned with is the tranny chaser image, which is demeaning to trans woman and if thats the case then good luck finding that certain someone, try being open-minded about relationships and I'm sure it will open far more doors than just opening the trans woman door and hoping to find a relationship that is based on things more than just sex, because centering on just trans woman sounds an awful lot like it wrapped around a type of sex that you want, when just being slightly creative anyone can fulfill sexual fantasies and even more.

[Leena]

There are some people that have objections to cis people that are exclusively attracted to trans people. It doesn't necessarily bother me, so I can't really speak to their objections. There do seem to be quite a bit more cis men that are exclusively attracted to trans women than other combinations for some reason though.

[Ativan Prescribed]

Safe way to stay in the closet is probably the reason if you asked me, but don't ask me because I have never really cared one way or the other who someone wants to be with, I've been all over the map and what has always mattered was the person, never what they come equipped with.
It's never really mattered to me at all and I kinda think people who say it matters to them are just short changing themselves as to who they might end up having sex with, when it all comes down to it, getting off is getting of regardless of how you get off, an orgasm is and orgasm.
Its like this one wild week of sex with this one person and at the end of the week and it was time for me to travel on, she hugged me and said no regrets except that she can't call herself exclusively lesbian anymore, punched me in the chest and said it was the most fun she has had in years.
I left and wondered about that, was I really that much fun or had she been denying herself that kinda fun for years, who knows? She certainly knew what she was doing sexually, so I doubt I was the first guy she ever slept with, but she said fun in years, what a long time to be in denial.
And thats the thing, most of the time it isn't an actual preference but mostly a denial situation, like wouldn't want their friends to find out sort of thing, its a matrix strikes again effect on people, tells them some bullshit thing that in turn fucks them up sexually for the rest of their lives.

[Trinity]

We get nervous about the chasers, I've had to deal with a few, very aggressive males and makes me very uncomfortable. I haven't encountered it with a female before, though I've had attention paid to me, it felt rather flattering tbh. Shut down real fast because I'm very married, and my relationship survived transition and so far this detransition which who knows if that will stick or not, I don't.

We had one crash a meeting today, offended the crap out of all of us, he got booted out fast but not before he triggered us.

That being said, its so all about the heart, and totally unpredictable, chemistry is chemistry and can happen anywhere. Sure we shut it down if we are in a relationship, or due to social or spiritual taboos of some kind or upbringing taboos or old stuff that is clutter in our minds and hearts.

There's a lot of kinds of love too. Sex and romantic love don't have to be a part of that, there are deep bonds that can form between people, and those are precious and rare.

Loneliness sucks, for sure. Finding how to love yourself and build a happy you is first, and that attracts others into your space, emotional and all of that, but it all starts with being happy and making a difference for yourself first.

If anything there helps. I never watched the vid, I was afraid it would trigger me, sometimes I shut the world down.