Binders?

[nyx]

Hi there,

I was wondering if some of you could give me some advice on binders. I would love to try a binder because I can't imagine to present as androgyne/neutrois/anything like this with my c cups. But I have no idea where to buy, how to find out which one and especially which size because I'm overweight and normally hate too tight clothing >.<
So I know I won't be too comfy, but bras aren't comfy as well so I guess I can give it at least a try if it can help me with my dysphoria, right?

Thanks a lot and have a nice day <3 -Nyx

[Ativan Prescribed]

It isn't about presentation, if you want to look different, then thats fine, but you are defined by your actions, not presentation.
That said, I have no idea about binders, AMAB.

[Trinity]

I have no idea on the binder thing, hope there is someone here that can comment on it,just whatever you do don't use like an ace bandage, I've seen that rejected as being very bad by a lot of people.

I personally have b cups and counter that easily with oversize shirts and unlined bras. I have no interest in sports bras. But I also have the reverse for top dysphoria, I want more and not less, so its different for me. I wish I had C's, that was like the dream size for me. Which doesn't help you...

[nyx]

Jan 21, 2021 9:20:15 GMT 8 Ativan Prescribed said:

It isn't about presentation, if you want to look different, then thats fine, but you are defined by your actions, not presentation.
That said, I have no idea about binders, AMAB.

Totally get your point.
But to me, looking different is connected to presentation: when I'm all by myself, I don't care much about looks because no one else will see me. The only important thing then is comfort so I'm wearing comfy and simple stuff at home - but when I go out where people can see me, I can ask myself what I want them to see. Clothes are somewhat a way of communication. I'm telling people something by wearing a suit or by wearing a punk outfit - it changes a lot! And people will gender me when they see me. They always do it because we are programmed to gender people within milliseconds. We don't even think about it, it just happens. If I want people to stop gendering me (because I don't identify with these categories so it would be nice to not be (mis)gendered), I can do so by dressing in a way that it is hard to determine my 'assigned gender', even for a little moment until they find something that tells them 'ah, woman' although I know it only tells them that I'm probably afab which is not the same but well... At least this is what I think. And I came to the conclusion that this moment in which they struggle to put me in a box would be... a good thing to have. I don't know if it's silly but I like to imagine this...

Jan 23, 2021 10:38:31 GMT 8 Trinity said:

I have no idea on the binder thing, hope there is someone here that can comment on it,just whatever you do don't use like an ace bandage, I've seen that rejected as being very bad by a lot of people.

I personally have b cups and counter that easily with oversize shirts and unlined bras. I have no interest in sports bras. But I also have the reverse for top dysphoria, I want more and not less, so its different for me. I wish I had C's, that was like the dream size for me. Which doesn't help you...

Oh yeah I will wait for some afabs' answers who tried some before buying something really bad! I know it won't help your dysphoria, but you remind me of myself when I was a teen and much lighter in weight so my chest was also smaller: I had b cups and was SO jealous of the girls with bigger ones. But when I look at picures of myself from back then, I think I looked very feminine and now I'm not much different-looking, only my bras give me more pain and of course my experienced gender changed or at least my feelings about it... but what I wanted to say is that I think you can look absolutely great with b's and it is a very bra-friendly size!   well this is just my perpective and I don't want to marginalize your dysphoria, just highlight the pros of a b-cup chest!

[Ativan Prescribed]

People assign sex, they have to dig deeper to define gender of a person, and while the lazy make gender the same thing as sex, they are just not looking or caring, they depend on their simple assumptions so they don't have to actually see or know the person.
It's very hard to convey a gender, but it is relatively easy to convey a sex, but that isn't the point, so its in the actions as a person that you define your gender, presentation defines it somewhat, but most people just don't bother to actually see another person, they just go with their first impression, and everything after that first second is when they actually start to realize there is a real person in front of them and not their assumptions. Actions speak louder than presentation, but a good presentation can change the first impression, making actions easier to speak louder.

[Droomvlucht]

Jan 24, 2021 6:11:10 GMT 8 Ativan Prescribed said:

Actions speak louder than presentation, but a good presentation can change the first impression, making actions easier to speak louder.

This may be offtopic so maybe we should move this discussion to another thread but could you explain a little further what you mean with this? I totally agree with the rest of your post but here you lost me. My actions are mostly based on fear, it seems very often, I do hope not that actions are what defines me. And actions can be changed. Would that mean that gender can change?

[Ativan Prescribed]

We, as people, are defined by our actions, we we present as is the facade we all hide behind.
You don't look at someone and say how smart they are, you don't look at someone and decide who they might be under that look.
It is in what we do that defines us all, and what we do is our actions, and acting out of fear is one way but certainly not the only way, there are all the other things you do as well.
Do you step out on the sidewalk and then cower in fear at every person who happens to come by? I think you might act out of fear for some things but are very much in your element with other things.
Are you a kind person to others? That is an action. do you stop to pet the neighbors dog when you walk by? That is an action.
Everything we do is action, who we look like is the facade we use to try to project an image, but looking fierce and then not being fierce kinda ruins that presentation.
Most people pretty much look like who they are, but there are so many others who use their presentation to try to appear as something different than they really are.
It isn't the words we use but the way we use them, you can have all the niceties in the words you choose, but if they come out in a seathing fashion, they are taken as something other than the words themselves.
Presentation is like that, its the reason I call it the facade and virtually everyone has one, but getting to your truth is also about figuring out which ones we hide behind that we don't don't realize we are hiding behind.
We can fool ourselves just as easily as we try to fool others from behind what we present as, if you have a look of fear constantly, then is it because you have convinced yourself that you live in fear?
If that is the case, then your actions might be of fear but its what you believe of yourself and have convinced yourself that this is who you are, when we find our inner truths and discover the very core of our being, we shine like diamonds.
Mulitfaceted diamonds, we see the world from behind the facets and use the facet that works the best for any given situation, and at the same time, we allow others to see these many facets and know that we can't be defined by a single one, we are defined by them all.
Our actions are the result of this, the more we know of our truths, the more brilliant we shine, the more we shine the better our actions, we define ourselves by our actions.

[kid]

Hi ! Did you find a binder ?

I can recommend GC2B, I bought one there and the support was caring and helpful. They ensure that you can return it and get another size if the first advice they gave you doesn't fit right.