[ti]love[/ti]New questionning member :)

[Pinou]

Hello! I'm new here.

I still don't know excatly what gender I am. I feel like I'm genderflux, sliding between female (my biological gender) and agender. So, I guess that makes me sometimes non-binary, sometimes cis? Is that even valid in the non-binary community? Anyway, I'm still questionning.

I have always felt different from everybody else. I have a vivid memory of being caught by surprised when a teacher asked me if I was the kind of "girl" to... I don't remember what. I only remember that I had totaly forgot what my gender was. I knew for a while what being non-binary was, but it only occured lately to me that it might be my case. The more I think about it, the more it feels right, but it's hard to get what I am, since my gender is not stable.

I'm an artist and I love my cat

I could write much more, but I think that's it for now. Since I can choose my pronouns on this forum, I will go with they/them and she/her. Or like a pink they!

xx

[Ativan Prescribed]

Welcome...
Most everyone have what they think of as fluid gender, mostly I think it's because we are forced to think in terms of what others want our gender to be and when we aren't catering to that, we tend to be more relaxed and feel our gender as it really is.
But regardless, I doubt that even the most strictest of cis gender people really feel like they are whatever it is they consider their gender to be.
It isn't about identifying a specific gender for NB, its more in acknowledging that what society has determined our gender to be, based on that idea that sex is gender and are one and the same, which isn't true in the least.
Your sex is determined by chromosomes and there are certainly people who think that their sex is one thing but if they knew their chromosome make up would find that it isn't, intersex is the first thing that comes to most minds but even raised and by all appearances that you are this or that sex can not be the same as what your chromosomes really determine, it is entirely possible to look entirely like your sex is this or that only to find out you are technically not this or that.
Gender is how you feel about yourself, it doesn't have to be a this or that and can easily float around in any way that feels right to you, and quite a few people say they are gender fluid, which is perfectly normal.
But regardless, NB is simply knowing that your gender is not the same as your apparent sex and can be whatever is right for you, fluid or not, it is entirely up to you because only you know how you feel, there is no way to determine a persons gender without asking them.
Also, gender identification isn't required here at all, you don't need a label or designation, just the simply idea that you are not gendered in the cis way of labeling each and every person to a set or rules that fail anyways in the society versions of what gender is.
Just know that most everyone here is not judging anyone else as far as what they think of their own gender, we are here because we don't cater to any of the cis society rules and know them to be painfully bullshit.
So again, welcome to the forum and ask questions and post your thoughts, there are no rules here other than the golden rule, no moderators, nobody in charge, what you want and get from the forum is entirely up to you.

[Iona]

Hi Pinou! Welcome to the forum - it's great to have you here!

[Trinity]

Welcome to the forum!

Anything goes here, its a place to find who you are and what makes you feel comfortable, to find the core of you. When you find you, whatever your gender is, and that transcends labels, becomes who you are, because you are you, and how you do you, is unique and wonderful.

I have some fluidity, not cis for me, there are no rules with nb, not with transition, not with hormones, not with anything. Just finding what works for you and how to feel good and comfortable with it.

I never fit in from as long as I can remember, I was always different, and it hurt.

Personally I did transition, but I live very fluid in society. And I love that.

[Becky]

Welcome to the Forum, Pinou!

You are unique, you are valid, and we are thrilled to have you here!

[Leena]

Hi Pinou!

I'm genderfluid, and flip between feminine and masculine, though I'm flipped feminine most of the time.

I used to sometimes think of it like I was a cis guy when I was flipped masculine and a trans woman when I was flipped feminine. Now that I'm transitioning physically and socially, I don't know that I'd describe it like that.

Welcome to the forum!

[Pinou]

Jul 21, 2020 8:47:52 GMT 8 Ativan Prescribed said:

 gender identification isn't required here at all, you don't need a label or designation, just the simply idea that you are not gendered in the cis way of labeling each and every person to a set or rules that fail anyways in the society versions of what gender is.

Thank you, that's reassuring I think that lots of people think of themselves as only male or female, but maybe you're right, and it's not as much people as we think! Anyway, it feels good to be accepted for who I am!

[kalima]

Welcome, Pinou! There are others here, like me, who don’t have our genders quite figured out. This is a place to explore that, with lots of support. Non-binary is a really big umbrella that includes the gender-questioning.

[Pinou]

Jul 21, 2020 9:24:19 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Welcome to the forum!

Anything goes here, its a place to find who you are and what makes you feel comfortable, to find the core of you. When you find you, whatever your gender is, and that transcends labels, becomes who you are, because you are you, and how you do you, is unique and wonderful.

I have some fluidity, not cis for me, there are no rules with nb, not with transition, not with hormones, not with anything. Just finding what works for you and how to feel good and comfortable with it.

I never fit in from as long as I can remember, I was always different, and it hurt.

Personally I did transition, but I live very fluid in society. And I love that.

Thank you Trinity   I've been lurking on the forum for a while and I have noticed that you post a lot, and you seem very nice! I'm sorry that you are hurt from not fitting in, I totally get it. I wish you to be happy and free! Do you mind explaining to me how you are fluid in society, and how people react to that? 

[Pinou]

Jul 22, 2020 11:20:35 GMT 8 kalima said:

Welcome, Pinou! There are others here, like me, who don’t have our genders quite figured out. This is a place to explore that, with lots of support. Non-binary is a really big umbrella that includes the gender-questioning.

Hello Kalima, thank you for your answer I would like to know about you, since we are in the same boat and that you seem awesome! You don't have to answer if you don't feel like it, of course! I would like to know when you started questionning, and why.

[Pinou]

Jul 22, 2020 1:39:51 GMT 8 Leena said:

Hi Pinou!

I'm genderfluid, and flip between feminine and masculine, though I'm flipped feminine most of the time.

I used to sometimes think of it like I was a cis guy when I was flipped masculine and a trans woman when I was flipped feminine. Now that I'm transitioning physically and socially, I don't know that I'd describe it like that.

Welcome to the forum!

Hello Leena!   I don't know how it is for you, but when I "switch" to my agender self, my way of walking, talking and my posture changes. How is it for you when you switch to male? Is it different since your transition?

[Trinity]

Jul 22, 2020 11:24:09 GMT 8 Pinou said:

Jul 21, 2020 9:24:19 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Welcome to the forum!

Anything goes here, its a place to find who you are and what makes you feel comfortable, to find the core of you. When you find you, whatever your gender is, and that transcends labels, becomes who you are, because you are you, and how you do you, is unique and wonderful.

I have some fluidity, not cis for me, there are no rules with nb, not with transition, not with hormones, not with anything. Just finding what works for you and how to feel good and comfortable with it.

I never fit in from as long as I can remember, I was always different, and it hurt.

Personally I did transition, but I live very fluid in society. And I love that.

Thank you Trinity   I've been lurking on the forum for a while and I have noticed that you post a lot, and you seem very nice! I'm sorry that you are hurt from not fitting in, I totally get it. I wish you to be happy and free! Do you mind explaining to me how you are fluid in society, and how people react to that? 

Actually since finding trans community i do fot in and this place helps a ton.

As to the fluidity, i got really good at it, and take no crap from anyone.  Being nb is awkward in mens rooms, stealth he or she is easy and i use whatever restroom i look like.

But i have no issues and when leaving the house its male that transforms to female very quickly.  Sunglasses and oversize shirt off and whammo.  Stealthshe.


Thanks for joining in!

e

[Pinou]

Jul 22, 2020 11:31:53 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Jul 22, 2020 11:24:09 GMT 8 Pinou said:

Actually since finding trans community i do fot in and this place helps a ton.

As to the fluidity, i got really good at it, and take no crap from anyone.  Being nb is awkward in mens rooms, stealth he or she is easy and i use whatever restroom i look like.

But i have no issues and when leaving the house its male that transforms to female very quickly.  Sunglasses and oversize shirt off and whammo.  Stealthshe.


Thanks for joining in!

e

I'm glad that you found your tribe! I think it's the same for me, now Is it okay for me to ask why you transitioned, since you sometimes feel like your biological gender? I have no jugment at all, I'm just curious!

[Leena]

Jul 22, 2020 11:31:46 GMT 8 Pinou said:

Hello Leena!   I don't know how it is for you, but when I "switch" to my agender self, my way of walking, talking and my posture changes. How is it for you when you switch to male? Is it different since your transition?

My way of walking, talking, and posture changes more to match my presentation than how I'm flipped mentally. It maybe comes more naturally if that presentation matches how I'm feeling at that moment, but presenting how I'm feeling isn't all that practical.

That's not really changed since I started transitioning. My overall perception of gender has changed quite a lot though, and is a lot less fluid.

[Trinity]

Jul 22, 2020 11:40:17 GMT 8 Pinou said:

Jul 22, 2020 11:31:53 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Actually since finding trans community i do fot in and this place helps a ton.

As to the fluidity, i got really good at it, and take no crap from anyone.  Being nb is awkward in mens rooms, stealth he or she is easy and i use whatever restroom i look like.

But i have no issues and when leaving the house its male that transforms to female very quickly.  Sunglasses and oversize shirt off and whammo.  Stealthshe.


Thanks for joining in!

e

I'm glad that you found your tribe! I think it's the same for me, now Is it okay for me to ask why you transitioned, since you sometimes feel like your biological gender? I have no jugment at all, I'm just curious!

Ahh, but I don't ever feel like my "biological" gender, if that has to do with having the genitalia.  And it's not clear what biological basis that is not so obvious goes into being trans or nonbinary.

I have acute physical gender dysphoria, it is my mind that is nonbinary.  The body is quite binary trans, but just because it is easy to put clothes over what is obviously now physically female within the limits of what HRT can do, and to therefore present masculine and even interact in a traditionally male kind of way (learned behavior btw) - this does not change my core gender identity on a physical level.

So I transitioned because I had to, it  was either transition, go insane, or off myself.   So I risked everything and transitioned.

I am a professional actor, so it is easy to fully assimilate a role, using parts of myself to enhance it.  However at the core of who I am, I know myself.  Gender is not the body, and Ativan has more wisdom than I about that, gender is more whole.  Physical gender is another thing, and I suppose my physical gender would be binary trans.  I'd do the final operation if I could, life did not give me that card to play.

I have no male sexuality at all.  Not anymore, and its questionable from the beginning, I disassociated from my penis decades ago mentally.

Hope that helps