aigq
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Post by aigq on Oct 30, 2019 7:58:17 GMT 8
Hello, Im a bit nervous about writing an introduction for some reason but here goes...i dont know all the correct terms etc. So if i say anything offensive it is not intended! Im here to try and find out more about who i am really. Im 39 and for as long as i can remember ive never felt particularly male or female. I have mentioned it in the past to close friends, who have kind of said they can see it in me, but i've never really gained any clarification. Now there's so much more information out there about being non-binary, genderqueer etc and i want to learn more. When i was young i was tomboyish and i would never wear any of the girly dresses my mum wanted me in. I have always been happy in my female body, ive never wanted to be male, but i do feel masculine, i act more like a male than a female and feel more comfortable that way. When i was working out lifting weights and gained muscle i loved looking like that. It felt like me. If i was brave enough id cut my hair short and wear more stereotypically male clothing. My name is easily shortened to a genderneutral name which i have always naturally preferred. Im not offended by being seen as a male or a female, even though i present as a female, there have been times when ive been called sir! Theres a lot for me to get my head around. I cant work out if how i feel is kind of superficial and im trying to label it, or if this is something more important to me than i realised. How can i experiment with this? Im hoping people here may give me some pointers do i sound genderqueer? So many questions! Haha thanks for reading my intro
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Post by Trinity on Oct 30, 2019 9:10:22 GMT 8
Welcome!
Im driving so i cant type atm
Lol
Enjoy
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Oct 30, 2019 9:15:33 GMT 8
There are no stock answers to most questions, and NB covers anyone who isn't binary, regardless if trans or not. So the way you perceive yourself is in that range for sure, but then there are no rules other than that to go by. You do as you feel like you should and can, and however that is right for you. There is nothing that says you have to have some of this and some of that binary gender, NB is simply not one or the other. There is no spectrum of gender, there is no line from male to female, there is no in between, NB stands as its own and if you want to further refine that for yourself, that s fine too. The easiest and hardest at the same time to see yourself as NB is to stop thinking in terms of you have this female and that male about yourself. You are not either and trying to push yourself into some kind of slot that is in between them is frustrating for yourself, you are NB and however that is for you is just fine. One of the things that really frustrates cis binary and trans binary is that they seem to always want you to be some sort of combination, but they don't see themselves as that at all. But the truth is, that most everyone has some parts of them that they see as different from either gender, which is your decision as to who you are. Sex that is assigned at birth never determines a person gender, they are two separate things and sex at birth is never checked to see that chromosomes line up with genitals. There are people who are female in every respect but their chromosomes don't line up that way, and there are intersex which if their genitals are different, they just pick one and scar people forever by surgeries that they would have never though of getting. So sex isn't always an indicator of anything, but it is a good starting place for a lot of things that might come up in life, but gender is something that a person generally realizes slowly from around three yrs old. So female bodied can relate to your sex but not your chromosomes and your gender has nothing to do with either, it is simply your perceptions of you in a binary world where most people declare their gender to be their sex as well. But you have to ask yourself, if they are the same thing, then why is gender used sometimes and sex the other times, and there is no rhyme or reason as to why people would think they are the same thing, they can be, but they aren't at the same time. So navigating the world that says you are either this or that and that there is no in between although most everyone says they have some of that is pretty hard to do if you take everything about yourself and decide that it is this or that. Easiest is to just ignore the trappings of that and be yourself, much the same as you do for everything else in your life, you are who you think you are, and despite that there can be a very few times when people can be wrong about themselves, in general they just aren't.
Not everything on the board here is strictly NB, a lot of it is people just talking about the same things as most people, but the takeaway is that it is always from a NB perspective, even if it has nothing to do with gender, we are NB so that is where it comes from and how to read what you do read, which I hope you do and read old posts and things that are of interest, like all these forum places, there are the usual ways of navigating, so dive in and see if any of it is interesting for you, it is for us, that's why it is here. Join in the conversations and start your own threads as you want, and there are no real rules, there are no moderators, we haven't had the need for either since the beginning here. Some of us come from a different forum that just didn't take to the idea that we aren't a half and half or whatever gender, that we are our own, and that is a big difference from most of the things you can read, most all of it is from a binary perspective and we just don't have that perspective, we understand it fine, we have all been forced into it in one way or another, but they seem to just miss the most very basic point, that we are not in between anything.
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Post by charley83 on Oct 31, 2019 2:04:50 GMT 8
Welcome Dont be afraid to ask questions and even talk about how you feel. I am pretty much the same as you. I was born female and mostly present female. I was always A tomboy growing up and never really felt male or female. Its always been this odd mix of both. I have days I feel more one than the other. I spend most of my time dressing neutral. I dont like any clothes that are extremely feminine or extremely masculine. Each person on here presents how they feel comfortable. There is no wrong or right way to be non-binary.
If you ever wanna talk just message me.
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Post by Maka on Oct 31, 2019 2:12:33 GMT 8
Welcome
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aigq
New Member
Posts: 6
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Jan 29, 2020 7:09:39 GMT 8
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Post by aigq on Nov 2, 2019 4:45:58 GMT 8
Welcome Dont be afraid to ask questions and even talk about how you feel. I am pretty much the same as you. I was born female and mostly present female. I was always A tomboy growing up and never really felt male or female. Its always been this odd mix of both. I have days I feel more one than the other. I spend most of my time dressing neutral. I dont like any clothes that are extremely feminine or extremely masculine. Each person on here presents how they feel comfortable. There is no wrong or right way to be non-binary. If you ever wanna talk just message me. Thanks! Its nice to hear that someone has had similar experiences as me I'll drop you a message sometime.
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aigq
New Member
Posts: 6
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789
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Jan 29, 2020 7:09:39 GMT 8
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aigq
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Oct 11, 2019 1:06:02 GMT 8
October 2019
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Post by aigq on Nov 2, 2019 4:47:42 GMT 8
Thanks for the welcomes everyone! I'll be sure to have a read of the forums and i am sure i'll have some questions etc
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They/Their/Them
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Post by Becky on Nov 8, 2019 4:14:53 GMT 8
Welcome to the forum! This is the perfect place to ask a TON of questions. We're a safe space, and we value everyone here.
Make yourself at home!
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