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Post by ilikefilms on Dec 17, 2018 3:20:13 GMT 8
Hi I came on here a while ago just i have a therapist on the NHS after one session she came to the conclusion I was not trans I told her about different aspects of my life I told about wanting top surgery she said I could be non binary, but told if I wanted top surgery I would have to go private I'm just wondering why the NHS does not do top surgery for NB s she wants to explore why I dislike my breasts I just feel like my therapist is trying to get me to accept them it's like asking someone to live with a extra head to me!??feeling annoyed and wonder if my therapist is a bit wrong 😡
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Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Dec 17, 2018 11:00:24 GMT 8
Hi I came on here a while ago just i have a therapist on the NHS after one session she came to the conclusion I was not trans I told her about different aspects of my life I told about wanting top surgery she said I could be non binary, but told if I wanted top surgery I would have to go private I'm just wondering why the NHS does not do top surgery for NB s she wants to explore why I dislike my breasts I just feel like my therapist is trying to get me to accept them it's like asking someone to live with a extra head to me!??feeling annoyed and wonder if my therapist is a bit wrong 😡 I would say so.
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Dec 17, 2018 11:38:51 GMT 8
Just because they bill themselves as gender therapists doesn't mean that they actually know diddly squat about NB. My first one I had to teach her everything, but she was a really good therapist otherwise, sorry I lost her to her getting a better position in another part of the country. The second one wasn't all that much better, she was a lesbian who knew NB people in her circles of friends, but to her gender therapy was about what she was taught and that was binary. It's hard to find the right ones for nb, it's all new of a sort to the people teaching these kinds of things and they don't have a tight picture of it either. But when you do find them, they are valuable and can be hard to even get an appt, but stick with it. Therapy isn't just about being NB, so much more of it is involved, but they have to believe you when you say you are and if you want surgery, then they aren't there to talk you out of it. Nut they are there to make sure that is a realistic goal for you, the same goes for nb, a lot of people question themselves and it is up to them to decide, but not the therapist. They should be supportive as well as guiding and if they are always going in the wrong direction, they need more school or a different job. I got lucky with my first two besides the therapists, I had a couple of them who were psychologists and they specialized in nb and gender in general. Solid gold when you find a therapist who you click with, and if they are willing to learn about nb, then they are the diamonds, but first they need to be like a friend as far as getting along. The aren't of course, but the same degree of concern should be there and the conversations in the same kind of way, there is nothing worse than a clinical therapist, they are the ones who tell you and don't listen when you say no you're not. If you have the kind of therapist who will champion your needs and also question you to be able to support you, then they are going to work out ok.
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Post by ilikefilms on Jun 20, 2019 21:20:57 GMT 8
Hi again been to my therapist lately came to the conclusion that I don't mind being called a woman been interested in top surgery for a while anyway my therapist is ok i guess one thing that annoyed and shocked was she said society would view as a freak of i was a breastless woman.(Top Surgery) I have seen actual female identified people online who have had this done so they do exsist a part of me is just trying to accept my chest as it is she told me about the procedure and risks and how people would view me as a freak maybe I'm a bit naive maybe it's just a aesthetic i like and not dysphoria she has scared me off a little bit I don't know
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Post by ilikefilms on Jun 20, 2019 21:25:30 GMT 8
Anyway the thoughts Don t always go away about having a flat chest and I feel a bit sad about it
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Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Jun 20, 2019 22:29:08 GMT 8
Anyway the thoughts Don t always go away about having a flat chest and I feel a bit sad about it In therapy my therapist often told me of the hardships that can come living as who I really am. But the hardships of living as who I am not are worse, for me. Being forced into the binary concept of all or nothing is not mentally healthy. Being a hybrid or a person with needs like we have, demands compassion, not condemnation. I accept that I will have issues based on others judgements. They may think me a freak, but I think of them as trapped in their own social structure, and I find it sad that they can only judge based on their own needs and care nothing about others. It is true, the world can be cruel. But dysphoria is also very cruel. The therapists job is to point out the reality and consequences of our actions, good and bad, and to help us to understand them so we can make an informed decision. I have no regrets for my choices, and my therapists were trying to classify me and label me, diagnose me. The were cis and they gave up, gave me a bogus diagnosis, and I got my hormones. Later, I got a trans therapist, and it was then that I got an accurate carry letter that has my diagnosis of nonbinary gender dysphoria. Look inside yourself, or to your God if you are inclined that way, for the deep inside knowing of what it is you need to do. Then, eyes wide open, you can face this world. Your self esteem must come from inside you, it cannot come from others. Trinity
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Jun 21, 2019 1:38:48 GMT 8
How very strange of her to say something as if she has big boobs and has nothing to say about flat chested woman other than they are freaks, I think we know who the freak is there. How many woman have reductions and how many have implants, how many base their worth on how their boobs even look, let alone the size of them. Life isn't going to change from the perspective of others just based on the size of your boobs, if they are valuing you by them then do you even really care what they have to say? Your body, your rules. If you want to change your hairstyle to a strictly seen as a male haircut, does that count as a freak? Does wearing mens traditional clothing make you a freak? Does driving a big truck that is considered the same as a mans penis size make you a freak? Only guys who are insecure would consider a flat chest as freakish, because they don't anything to brag about. Other woman who determine whether you are a freak or no based on whether you have a flat chest are not worth knowing. How many women hate that they have to wear a bra all the time and just wish people would get over that you have to have clothing that makes boobs look a certain way? How many women really wish that they didn't have to be judged by boobs and really don't want them? How many older woman get bent out of shape because their boobns can't compete anymore? The list goes on and on, but the reality is that there are plenty of woman who don't have boobs worth noting and there are plenty who are just out and out flat chested. Especially considering that all these overweight men have the need to wear a bra or lose weight, especially when they are old and sitting at the bar and they move and the flabby boobs they own wiggle the wrong way, just hard to even look at. There is nothing in the world that is freakish about having a flat chest and I think the only reason the therapist says that kind of shit is because of her own insecurity about her set. She is obviously a product of the matrix that values people based on how they look, woman on boobs and men by the size of their trucks, or so it would seem by the way they get all excited about them, the trucks that is. If people were judged on how well adjusted they are, and they are to a high degree, then things like trucks and boobs are not very high on the list. If getting them taken off or just reduced, and that makes you more comfortable with yourself, then you win, because you didn't give in to the notion that you would be seen as a freak, like I now see your therapist as.
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Post by ilikefilms on Jun 21, 2019 3:36:15 GMT 8
Your right my therapist is wrong i just get so caught up in how other people view me through years of low self-esteem and fear to be myself I think I need a better therapist Don t think she has a clue
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Jun 21, 2019 8:48:58 GMT 8
It takes time to train in therapists so that they are in your groove and not just being a generic therapist. You have to guide them as much as they do you. If they aren't willing to do that, then you need a different one. I just went through that not very long ago, dropped her after three appts. She'd ask me questions and before I could get to the point of the answer, she would cut me off and tell me what to do. The answers might have been long, but they were on the question and there was valuable info there, but she wanted to do it her way, so the highway.
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ceremony
Junior Member
Posts: 83
Gender: Non-Binary
Gender: non-binary
Presentation: Male
Presentation: Wouldn't care, don't care
Pronouns: They/Their/Them
Orientation: Heterosexual
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Non-Binary
non-binary
Male
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They/Their/Them
Heterosexual
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Post by ceremony on Jul 5, 2019 5:39:25 GMT 8
Your right my therapist is wrong i just get so caught up in how other people view me through years of low self-esteem and fear to be myself I think I need a better therapist Don t think she has a clue I've read your thread and have lived with what the DSMv defines as BDD, which is body dysmorphic disorder. I hope that bringing up my trauma from it isn't appropriating your thread; my intent is compassion. I recognized Gender Dysphoria's anxieties, depression and other concerns for mental health because I've suffered bdd for over 45 years. It's not about gender but, bullies who target nbs also target those suffering from what I've lived. My lifetime of hyper-vigilance and the bdd obsession have stifled my existence. My current T for about 3 years has guided me toward ways to deal with my ptsd, etc... The one thing she hadn't shown results was my bdd. There's no cure, just management of recurring anxiety and self hate. She advocated slow exposure to my panic concerns. This year it's slowly gotten better. The nb I am has arrived, and it's exciting, the bdd is greatly diminished. I can imagine others, you, reading that to mean there's some merit about waiting for ts? To the contrary, my point is, there are points in our lives that resonate deeply, the reality of our truth shows when letting it process. I believe processing in community, like here, is a resounding benefit! I've dealt with some deep issues, and online allies have helped. I react to your therapist descriptions with concern about harming your process. It has the vibe of conversion therapy. I can imagine how that feels for you, I've had some troubling therapists over decades. My hope is to be an ally and nb I am, and next years Pride concert, to rock who I am! I hope you process the nb and more you are💖
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Post by Taka on Jul 10, 2019 0:33:31 GMT 8
When you say NHS I think somewhere in Great Britain, is that true? There should be ways to get what you want. Have you tried contacting any nb forums in your country?
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