peanut
New Member
Posts: 32
Gender: Androgyne
Presentation: Androgynous / Fluid / Masc
Pronouns: Any
Orientation: Bisexual
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October 2018
peanut
Androgyne
Androgynous / Fluid / Masc
Any
Bisexual
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Post by peanut on Oct 4, 2018 22:35:13 GMT 8
So, I've found solace in forums before but none that could really understand the questions and feelings I have about gender... so here I am.
I'm still coming to terms with exactly what labels are "mine" and what needs to be mine or what I need to do to really accept myself. I'm 25 but I feel like a teenager discovering their sexuality, only that was significantly simpler for me. There are times when I search the internet looking for a solution here and then, of course, you come across youtube videos where all the comments are about how fake you are and it's all just attention seeking and then I retreat from it all and try not to internalise that.
I'm not "out" as such but I have not been subtle. A couple of friends know for sure that I identify as non-binary. I don't know what I want to do with that.
Anyway, it's good to find a place like this. Hello everyone.
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Oct 4, 2018 23:54:30 GMT 8
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Post by EchelonHunt on Oct 4, 2018 23:54:30 GMT 8
Welcome, Peanut! Uuuuugh, the YouTube comment sections are the worst when it comes to NB topics, I steer clear of them, much like I do with comment sections of Facebook news articles. You've found the right place, this is a nice area to just vent your feelings, work through how you feel about your gender (or lack thereof) and come out of your shell, so to speak. I came out as trans at 18, it took me 5 years of being on testosterone and being in an abusive relationship to realize I was not as male as I previously thought. At least, I don't identify as a man, but I still require a male body to alleviate body dysphoria. Feel free to create new threads or dig up old threads to kickstart discussion Most of our members are located in the US, I'm from Australia (I'm a day ahead in the future, mwuaha!) so don't fret if there aren't any immediate replies, it takes a day or so for everyone's timezone to catch up Hope to see you around!
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Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Oct 5, 2018 1:27:21 GMT 8
Post by Trinity on Oct 5, 2018 1:27:21 GMT 8
So, I've found solace in forums before but none that could really understand the questions and feelings I have about gender... so here I am. I'm still coming to terms with exactly what labels are "mine" and what needs to be mine or what I need to do to really accept myself. I'm 25 but I feel like a teenager discovering their sexuality, only that was significantly simpler for me. There are times when I search the internet looking for a solution here and then, of course, you come across youtube videos where all the comments are about how fake you are and it's all just attention seeking and then I retreat from it all and try not to internalise that. I'm not "out" as such but I have not been subtle. A couple of friends know for sure that I identify as non-binary. I don't know what I want to do with that. Anyway, it's good to find a place like this. Hello everyone. Welcome! Answers are here. Read, explore, question. Trinity
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Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Oct 5, 2018 4:19:46 GMT 8
peanut likes this
Post by Trinity on Oct 5, 2018 4:19:46 GMT 8
So, I've found solace in forums before but none that could really understand the questions and feelings I have about gender... so here I am. "all the comments are about how fake you are and it's all just attention seeking" I'm not "out" as such but I have not been subtle. A couple of friends know for sure that I identify as non-binary. I don't know what I want to do with that. Anyway, it's good to find a place like this. Hello everyone. Fake is not what we do here, far from it. It has always been the search for our truths, the search for what is real, the search for our gender in a society that enforces the binary, where even if we have binary needs, we recognize that we are somehow different. And when we are a blend, we are even more different, and it can become confusing. Its a journey, we call it the path through the Unicorn Forest, there is a thread in the members only section (Dear Universe) that talks about that. A place of allegorical self expression. Where we can express that which is so hard to verbalize in a language constructed for others... So we search for what feels real, and what feels real to us, is our real, our truth. How we choose to express that later is up to us, but we find ourselves and who we are, and it becomes about learning how to live after that. Because our eyes are opened. You won't hear fake or attention seeking. You will find people reaching out to each other, and a lot of us have known each other a long time, so you may feel like an outsider at first, you are not, you fit in when you say you do.... But when we reach out, we need to, it is a support forum, there is solace as you have said. But its about living and surviving and dealing with the very real problems we face as nonbinary entities. As to labels, we don't generally do much there, because labels are another form, imo, of forced gender roles, categorize this and ignore that, all that kind of thing, limiting. True we want to have a sense of belonging and fitting in, but that can easily transcend words and definitions, it is enough to be nonbinary, and to explore what that is to us, who we are, no limits, no boxes, no points on a gender line. Rather, a constellation of human, feeling the feelings, being the being, living and watching and feeling and loving and crying. Because we are all of gender, and in that, we are freed. Unplugged from this worlds Matrix, asking the questions why, and what do we do now. Welcome again to the forum, I hope you find the answers you seek, and more important, the freedom you deserve so that when love comes, they will love you as your truth.
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Oct 5, 2018 11:05:58 GMT 8
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Oct 5, 2018 11:05:58 GMT 8
So, I've found solace in forums before but none that could really understand the questions and feelings I have about gender... so here I am. I'm still coming to terms with exactly what labels are "mine" and what needs to be mine or what I need to do to really accept myself. I'm 25 but I feel like a teenager discovering their sexuality, only that was significantly simpler for me. There are times when I search the internet looking for a solution here and then, of course, you come across youtube videos where all the comments are about how fake you are and it's all just attention seeking and then I retreat from it all and try not to internalise that. I'm not "out" as such but I have not been subtle. A couple of friends know for sure that I identify as non-binary. I don't know what I want to do with that. Anyway, it's good to find a place like this. Hello everyone. The truth is that they are not real and we are. Read a bunch here and you'll get the idea of it. Personally, I don't believe in gender, it's not a real thing, your sex is, but gender is a made up thing by the people who aren't real, so there is no gender, just us who are forced to identify as NB and people use gender in that and get it all wrong... Read stuff and ask questions, there is no limits to anything, the golden rule is used in place of moderators and the need has never come up for them. There is no wrong questions or answers, there are just questions and answers, you pick the ones that work for you. But I really think reading a bunch of stuff that is interesting to you will give you a good idea of where thinking in very general terms is at. But there are questions, so fire away.
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Oct 5, 2018 14:57:47 GMT 8
peanut likes this
Post by Yuki on Oct 5, 2018 14:57:47 GMT 8
So, I've found solace in forums before but none that could really understand the questions and feelings I have about gender... so here I am. I'm still coming to terms with exactly what labels are "mine" and what needs to be mine or what I need to do to really accept myself. I'm 25 but I feel like a teenager discovering their sexuality, only that was significantly simpler for me. There are times when I search the internet looking for a solution here and then, of course, you come across youtube videos where all the comments are about how fake you are and it's all just attention seeking and then I retreat from it all and try not to internalise that. I'm not "out" as such but I have not been subtle. A couple of friends know for sure that I identify as non-binary. I don't know what I want to do with that. Anyway, it's good to find a place like this. Hello everyone. Welcome! Like Jayce said, avoid comments sections as much as possible. It's all just trolls, and/or people that would much rather spend their time being hateful than even attempting to understand. What do you need to accept yourself? Time. Some take longer to figure themselves out. Labels can be useful, but basically all of the nonbinary gender labels are made to describe a feeling and to relate to others who have that same feeling. Your gender is both less complicated, and more complicated, than all of those labels can show. I tried out a few, and moved on to new ones whenever I figured out the old ones weren't quite right either, and then just settled on the general label of nonbinary. I don't know where I fit on any gender spectrum... I'm just me, and that's fine. That means to rules, either... I wear what I like and act how I want, and have an idea of how I want my body to be, and don't worry about what specific label, if any, all of that fits into. I think that's how a lot of us on here are, to a degree. You found the least judgmental gender space there is. No one will call you fake here.
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peanut
New Member
Posts: 32
Gender: Androgyne
Presentation: Androgynous / Fluid / Masc
Pronouns: Any
Orientation: Bisexual
inherit
638
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Jun 26, 2019 20:12:04 GMT 8
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peanut
32
Oct 4, 2018 9:16:17 GMT 8
October 2018
peanut
Androgyne
Androgynous / Fluid / Masc
Any
Bisexual
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Hey
Oct 5, 2018 20:50:39 GMT 8
Post by peanut on Oct 5, 2018 20:50:39 GMT 8
The truth is that they are not real and we are. Read a bunch here and you'll get the idea of it. Personally, I don't believe in gender, it's not a real thing, your sex is, but gender is a made up thing by the people who aren't real, so there is no gender, just us who are forced to identify as NB and people use gender in that and get it all wrong... Read stuff and ask questions, there is no limits to anything, the golden rule is used in place of moderators and the need has never come up for them. There is no wrong questions or answers, there are just questions and answers, you pick the ones that work for you. But I really think reading a bunch of stuff that is interesting to you will give you a good idea of where thinking in very general terms is at. But there are questions, so fire away. When you say "reading" do you mean books? If so got any recommendations?
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peanut
New Member
Posts: 32
Gender: Androgyne
Presentation: Androgynous / Fluid / Masc
Pronouns: Any
Orientation: Bisexual
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638
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Jun 26, 2019 20:12:04 GMT 8
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peanut
32
Oct 4, 2018 9:16:17 GMT 8
October 2018
peanut
Androgyne
Androgynous / Fluid / Masc
Any
Bisexual
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Hey
Oct 5, 2018 20:53:45 GMT 8
Post by peanut on Oct 5, 2018 20:53:45 GMT 8
Welcome, Peanut! Uuuuugh, the YouTube comment sections are the worst when it comes to NB topics, I steer clear of them, much like I do with comment sections of Facebook news articles. You've found the right place, this is a nice area to just vent your feelings, work through how you feel about your gender (or lack thereof) and come out of your shell, so to speak. I came out as trans at 18, it took me 5 years of being on testosterone and being in an abusive relationship to realize I was not as male as I previously thought. At least, I don't identify as a man, but I still require a male body to alleviate body dysphoria. Feel free to create new threads or dig up old threads to kickstart discussion Most of our members are located in the US, I'm from Australia (I'm a day ahead in the future, mwuaha!) so don't fret if there aren't any immediate replies, it takes a day or so for everyone's timezone to catch up Hope to see you around! Hey! Thanks! I've been reading quite a lot of your posts and it's been pretty great being able to relate to a lot of them as one AFAB to another! And I'm used to most people online living in the US, it just seems to be the way of the English speaking Internet doesn't it? I think it's partly why my sleeping schedule is such a mess... from adjusting to talking to so many of them. anyway, I'm in the UK, so... half way between!
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peanut
New Member
Posts: 32
Gender: Androgyne
Presentation: Androgynous / Fluid / Masc
Pronouns: Any
Orientation: Bisexual
inherit
638
0
Jun 26, 2019 20:12:04 GMT 8
20
peanut
32
Oct 4, 2018 9:16:17 GMT 8
October 2018
peanut
Androgyne
Androgynous / Fluid / Masc
Any
Bisexual
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Hey
Oct 5, 2018 20:58:21 GMT 8
Post by peanut on Oct 5, 2018 20:58:21 GMT 8
Welcome! Like Jayce said, avoid comments sections as much as possible. It's all just trolls, and/or people that would much rather spend their time being hateful than even attempting to understand. What do you need to accept yourself? Time. Some take longer to figure themselves out. Labels can be useful, but basically all of the nonbinary gender labels are made to describe a feeling and to relate to others who have that same feeling. Your gender is both less complicated, and more complicated, than all of those labels can show. I tried out a few, and moved on to new ones whenever I figured out the old ones weren't quite right either, and then just settled on the general label of nonbinary. I don't know where I fit on any gender spectrum... I'm just me, and that's fine. That means to rules, either... I wear what I like and act how I want, and have an idea of how I want my body to be, and don't worry about what specific label, if any, all of that fits into. I think that's how a lot of us on here are, to a degree. You found the least judgmental gender space there is. No one will call you fake here. Hey! Thanks for the welcome. Yeah, I'm aware of all of this yet I still find myself going back and forth between "labels don't matter" and "coming out isn't necessary" to trying to work out if I'm missing something and then it's like I'm chasing my own tail, y'know? Back and forth of just being comfortable with "me" whatever that is because life is too complex for labels to needing some kinda "how to" on how to be me... I think that's my biggest downfall is expecting someone else to have already lived the "me" I want to be for me so I just have to follow in their footsteps.
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Oct 5, 2018 21:22:31 GMT 8
peanut likes this
Post by Becky on Oct 5, 2018 21:22:31 GMT 8
Welcome to the forum! I hope you can find some helpful posts and discussions here. This is one of the most supportive groups I've ever found.
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Post by Von on Oct 6, 2018 1:35:07 GMT 8
Hi, welcome! I see you've already been fairly active, and that's great! Fake is a thing you won't find here. We're all fairly open and raw, when it comes to it, about our feelings. Everyone genuinely cares here, and that's something you definitely won't find in the nasty comments sections of most websites, ick! Take your time and enjoy perusing the topics we have.
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Post by Yuki on Oct 6, 2018 10:11:32 GMT 8
Hey! Thanks for the welcome. Yeah, I'm aware of all of this yet I still find myself going back and forth between "labels don't matter" and "coming out isn't necessary" to trying to work out if I'm missing something and then it's like I'm chasing my own tail, y'know? Back and forth of just being comfortable with "me" whatever that is because life is too complex for labels to needing some kinda "how to" on how to be me... I think that's my biggest downfall is expecting someone else to have already lived the "me" I want to be for me so I just have to follow in their footsteps. The more you read about other people's experiences and the more you find ones that relate to your own, and the more you are aware of and understand your own feelings and your own self, the easier it will be. It just takes time. You'll figure out who you are, and then you'll make your own footsteps.
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Oct 6, 2018 11:00:29 GMT 8
The truth is that they are not real and we are. Read a bunch here and you'll get the idea of it. Personally, I don't believe in gender, it's not a real thing, your sex is, but gender is a made up thing by the people who aren't real, so there is no gender, just us who are forced to identify as NB and people use gender in that and get it all wrong... Read stuff and ask questions, there is no limits to anything, the golden rule is used in place of moderators and the need has never come up for them. There is no wrong questions or answers, there are just questions and answers, you pick the ones that work for you. But I really think reading a bunch of stuff that is interesting to you will give you a good idea of where thinking in very general terms is at. But there are questions, so fire away. When you say "reading" do you mean books? If so got any recommendations? Books are good if you can find ones that aren't the ones written by non-nb persons, they pretty much just don't get it and what they have to say is usually irrelevant and redundant to what you already know. But sure things written by nb people is always going to be another facet on the dimensions that nb is, windows into the reality of nb. But what I really meant was to go exploring on the forum topics and read threads that are interesting to you, peoples posts if you like what they have to say, lots of stuff here. But it can be hard to find direct information, the conversations look like just friends talking and they are, but look for the experience in them, the information is there. The current boards is pretty much like a family thing, and we all fort the most part have a good idea of who everyone is, so just jump in and become a part of it if you like. Just in talking about things, we have little gems that can be thrown into the conversations, if you have questions on those, just ask, questions are always good here. There are no rules other than the golden one and no moderators, there has never been a reason for them, there are no dumb or satupid questions, they are all valid, just like all posts are. If you like it here, stick around to get used to the flow of it, weekends are not much, but people are here and might be just reading, a good time to post a new thread or post things you like. No right or wrong here, nb is a complicated thing and there is always something new that comes up.
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