Pose on FX tonight at 9

[Trinity]

Highly regarded by the trans acting community that have seen the screenings.

[ceremony]

I've wanted to watch POSE since pre-season 1, but I don't have cable, and while I recovered from knee replacement surgeries (2 same knee), all my possible savings were depleted. I finally seem to be hopeful about work, and I bought Season 1 a couple days ago. I binged watched it, and today I bought Season 2 and am on episode 5. Candy has passed and she's talking to Pray Tell at her viewing.

This show is so real to me, it's taken me back to a time where I had so much turmoil, and within that era of my life, I stopped to know what was happening from the ravages of AIDS. I had a dear friend, who did a solo protest across campus, where he filmed himself carrying a coffin labeled AIDS. It broke my heart, and I feared for him. He married before it was officially legal to in Calif. I saw a video he posted on Facebook. I miss him.

I am still married, and was then, and before I met him. He's not someone whom I considered a love, but, a very dear friend, whose friendship I held like love.  I see that kind of love in POSE, and I miss it. I really, so, dearly miss it. 

I've cried and felt with these episodes. The Ball Scene to me, would be like what I wanted in the basement band scene at university, and the bands I would go see at 2 bars I would go. I miss that too, we went together, usually 3 of us, sometimes more. I miss my friends, and that's just got to be let go. I can't live in the shadows of my mind.

That last, that's what's going on in me while I watch POSE. My aspirations to be someone, to share that, and hope. All of that was twisted and turned upside down during the time that I had invested toward that goal. The end of that became a part of me full of regret, shame and loss. That to now, and POSE shows up. I love it. I'm invested in what feelings I have about it. Maybe it's my too ambitious imagination stirring the winds of time in my mind, in there, I'm feeling deeply, and I don't want to stop it. 

POSE means a lot to me, because it's so real to what certain aspects of what I thought run in the Series. It's with a deep sigh that I sense how this too will feel like lose after I've binged watched it all. 

Indya Moore, MJ Rodriguez, Angelica Ross, Billy Porter and so many more seem like people I had a short chance to know in another life. I hadn't met any trans, nor non-binary people (that I was aware) back then. I made an effort to engage whomever was at the local trans tent at Pride the Summer of 2018, and this past Summer there was an awesome show where I was hugged by someone I admire and have messaged a little bit. She's become someone whose life is public and I have the privilege of having met her. It was so emotional for me. I think I hid that, I'm not sure? I was chocked up that she came over to say hi, and hug me. While we waited about 20 minutes before the show I had told two ladies next to me how much I admired her. They said they have known her a long time and would tell her I said so. I was pleased, but really had no expectations. Then, there she was, said hi, and I was so pleased, I gushed that I loved her music, and followed her on social media. I had also contacted her the year prior to approve that I was writing a very personal blog, and wanted to mention her, and include a video. She had no problem with that, she had posted it publicly, so no problem. While I gushed about her music for ten seconds I thought to tell her I'm the one who contacted her by messaging. She looked into my eyes, and leaned in to hug me. I think she read that blog post? I wasn't more than a fan, but, she hugged me, so, that's why I think she read it. 

So, that aside, there's been a lot going on in my mind about how I believe in myself, and how that translates to loving me. I need that to make it through what's going on. I'm often just treading water emotionally, and if I drop into the depression like last holiday season, I'm in for a very rough time. I know I'm triggered by these late Fall and early Winter months with these holidays. It's just pain, and then more pain. There's more ways to distract from it now, that is, as long as this laptop runs. Sigh, that's another story. 


POSE means a lot to me, and I'm grateful this thread was begun, and I'm pretty sure I'm not finished with this topic.

LOVE

[Trinity]

I need to watch this, have not yet, hits very close to home, and I do know some of the folk in it.


Death of Candy, peeks my interest, I am pretty well known among the remaining living Warhol people.

But the real bottom line for me, why I have not watched yet probably, is that is my era, and I was in NY at the time, bottoming out on trans and booze and drugs, starving, and worse that I don't like to talk about, and death was everywhere.

Hope you enjoy it, I probably will when I watch it.

[ceremony]

Nov 2, 2019 2:03:30 GMT 8 Trinity said:

I need to watch this, have not yet, hits very close to home, and I do know some of the folk in it.


Death of Candy, peeks my interest, I am pretty well known among the remaining living Warhol people.

But the real bottom line for me, why I have not watched yet probably, is that is my era, and I was in NY at the time, bottoming out on trans and booze and drugs, starving, and worse that I don't like to talk about, and death was everywhere.

Hope you enjoy it, I probably will when I watch it.

I'm enjoying it very much. There's community during difficulty, and that brings an authenticity I like. The whole show is authenticity to me, the emotions and thinking about choices make sense to me. I read it through my eyes, and love the Series. The Season 2 showed some locals, and that might also interest you? 

Here, in the Snowy Minnesota Twin Cities Metro area, I've met one person who had done something with Warhol. He does silk screen work and other prints. I haven't seen him in over 10 yrs now. We weren't acquaintances, there was a scarcity of he showing up at an AA meeting I frequented.

If you were aware of "houses" back then, there are some locals represented in this series, it touches my heart. I know how devastating the AIDS crisis was, and why it was so horrible. Those persons in power and the top (Reagan and Nancy), with their ultra evil hating religious fanatics did next to nothing! I despise them so much, it's a deep anger which has motivated any activism I participated. I am in a mood for a new Act Up! The HHS rules that went into effect today make me fiercely angry. I've written and tweeted to all my representation. 

Pose gives me all the reminders I knew, and know over these decades. The community and family of this series pulls me with the characters reactions. I am tuning into what emotions are raised and keep going. I made it to episode 8 of Season 2 last night. I have to be up at 5am for work, so I've only got time for 1 episode tonight. I'm sure I'll have watched every episode by tomorrow night. 

I'm watching through my Prime account, and they offered the seasons to purchase. $15 for Season 1 and $20 for Season 2.

There's a lot to consider going into this series with regard to self care, please be mindful. I hope you'll get a chance to see the episodes soon? 

Best regards.