Sexuality and being Non-Binary

[blue]

So recently I fully came out to myself, and slowly to others as non-binary. Now that I've figured out who I am and my gender identity and such, I'm questioning my sexuality. I like girls and non-binary people, and dudes on the occasion. But because I'm non-binary, can I call myself gay when I'm attracted to a girl? It feels comfortable to me, but it also feels fairly comfortable (depending on how I'm feeling) to say I feel gay about a guy. Is this normal? Does anyone else feel this? Also is this ok and socially acceptable? 

[Becky]

May 25, 2018 2:47:05 GMT 8 blue said:

So recently I fully came out to myself, and slowly to others as non-binary. Now that I've figured out who I am and my gender identity and such, I'm questioning my sexuality. I like girls and non-binary people, and dudes on the occasion. But because I'm non-binary, can I call myself gay when I'm attracted to a girl? It feels comfortable to me, but it also feels fairly comfortable (depending on how I'm feeling) to say I feel gay about a guy. Is this normal? Does anyone else feel this? Also is this ok and socially acceptable? 

I love that you're asking a forum full of genderqueer folks about what's socially acceptable.  You'll find a hefty amount of acceptance here, and we're all trying to change what's acceptable in society at large.

To give a short answer to your question, using "pansexual" covers all of your bases.  However, if using the term "gay" feels comfortable for you, I don't see why you can't use it.

[Trinity]

Personally, as a nonbinary transsexual, gay and straight are kinda meaningless.

For me.... "If its a top, put it on, cause I'm the bottom"

No, it is not a pronoun choice lol.  I'm making a joke about clothes.

Seriously. I'm not a girl and I'm not a guy. So how can I be gay or straight?

And, acceptable? Honey.....lol.....

That's not even kinky or whatever, thats a love thing, that's between you and your lover/lovette. You love who you want, you mate with who you love. Sex is an expression of love.

I have a wife, does that mean she is gay? She isn't. But I'm not a woman, so, no problem. She just doesn't want to do much with my boobs...

And men, in her life, were assholes, I'm more fun, its a totally different deal.

Not gay, not straight, not even pan.

Freeeee.

Enjoy.

[Yuki]

May 25, 2018 2:47:05 GMT 8 blue said:

So recently I fully came out to myself, and slowly to others as non-binary. Now that I've figured out who I am and my gender identity and such, I'm questioning my sexuality. I like girls and non-binary people, and dudes on the occasion. But because I'm non-binary, can I call myself gay when I'm attracted to a girl? It feels comfortable to me, but it also feels fairly comfortable (depending on how I'm feeling) to say I feel gay about a guy. Is this normal? Does anyone else feel this? Also is this ok and socially acceptable? 

Probably literally nothing about me is socially acceptable. Hahaha

But, identify however feels right and makes you the most comfortable.

I was just thinking the other day how some days I feel straight for my husband and other days I feel gay for him. I'm just like, "Oh well, this is me." Lol.

He's straight though so.. it's not really gay. Not from his side, anyway.

I say I'm pan because it puts a name on it that's easy to explain to people, but I don't take it too serious. I just like whoever I like.

If you like people pretty much regardless of your gender, maybe pan fits you, too.

Some people just go with "queer" because it's pretty inclusive and easier. There is no one way to be queer. But that's only if the term doesn't make you uncomfortable.

[EJ]

Personally I use gay most of the time just because its easier than explaining all these different sexualities to people outside of the lgbt+ community, and if you feel comfortable with the term you can use it.
 

[Ativan Prescribed]

If the point is pressed, I use my fallback response of 'Yes'.

[Becky]

May 25, 2018 7:54:23 GMT 8 Yuki said:

May 25, 2018 2:47:05 GMT 8 blue said:

So recently I fully came out to myself, and slowly to others as non-binary. Now that I've figured out who I am and my gender identity and such, I'm questioning my sexuality. I like girls and non-binary people, and dudes on the occasion. But because I'm non-binary, can I call myself gay when I'm attracted to a girl? It feels comfortable to me, but it also feels fairly comfortable (depending on how I'm feeling) to say I feel gay about a guy. Is this normal? Does anyone else feel this? Also is this ok and socially acceptable? 

Probably literally nothing about me is socially acceptable. Hahaha

But, identify however feels right and makes you the most comfortable.

I was just thinking the other day how some days I feel straight for my husband and other days I feel gay for him. I'm just like, "Oh well, this is me." Lol.

He's straight though so.. it's not really gay. Not from his side, anyway.

I say I'm pan because it puts a name on it that's easy to explain to people, but I don't take it too serious. I just like whoever I like.

If you like people pretty much regardless of your gender, maybe pan fits you, too.

Some people just go with "queer" because it's pretty inclusive and easier. There is no one way to be queer. But that's only if the term doesn't make you uncomfortable.

I've never heard it put this way, but I really like it.  If I'm feeling particularly girly, there are days where I feel gay towards my wife.

I also really like just sticking with "queer" and wearing it as a badge of honor.

[Avery]

One of my favourite things to say is "you are as you define your identity"

In other words- can a non binary person be straight ? Gay? Anything else? Abso-fricken-lutely

I use queer because it's sort of a catch all. But you can use any word that feels right. And you can change your mind and the words you use a thousand times over. Those words are yours.

[charley83]

May 25, 2018 7:16:22 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Personally, as a nonbinary transsexual, gay and straight are kinda meaningless.

For me.... "If its a top, put it on, cause I'm the bottom"

No, it is not a pronoun choice lol.  I'm making a joke about clothes.

Seriously. I'm not a girl and I'm not a guy. So how can I be gay or straight?

And, acceptable? Honey.....lol.....

That's not even kinky or whatever, thats a love thing, that's between you and your lover/lovette. You love who you want, you mate with who you love. Sex is an expression of love.

I have a wife, does that mean she is gay? She isn't. But I'm not a woman, so, no problem. She just doesn't want to do much with my boobs...

And men, in her life, were assholes, I'm more fun, its a totally different deal.

Not gay, not straight, not even pan.

Freeeee.

Enjoy.

I love how you say your not gay or straight or pan because technically your not a girl or a boy. You are amazing. I seen a lot of your post and comments and they always catch me and make me actually think. I love it. There are not many people I know that can do that to me.
I don't think I'm any of those either. I am married to a man, I have been attracted to some females but not many. I am also attracted to trans men. Its not really what's between the legs that gets me. Honestly I am really attracted to people forearms. So am I arm-sexual? I don't really wanna label any of it. If it felt right and good I would give it a chance no matter what gender they identified as.

[Trinity]

Dec 11, 2018 4:06:45 GMT 8 charley83 said:

May 25, 2018 7:16:22 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Personally, as a nonbinary transsexual, gay and straight are kinda meaningless.

For me.... "If its a top, put it on, cause I'm the bottom"

No, it is not a pronoun choice lol.  I'm making a joke about clothes.

Seriously. I'm not a girl and I'm not a guy. So how can I be gay or straight?

And, acceptable? Honey.....lol.....

That's not even kinky or whatever, thats a love thing, that's between you and your lover/lovette. You love who you want, you mate with who you love. Sex is an expression of love.

I have a wife, does that mean she is gay? She isn't. But I'm not a woman, so, no problem. She just doesn't want to do much with my boobs...

And men, in her life, were assholes, I'm more fun, its a totally different deal.

Not gay, not straight, not even pan.

Freeeee.

Enjoy.

I love how you say your not gay or straight or pan because technically your not a girl or a boy. You are amazing. I seen a lot of your post and comments and they always catch me and make me actually think. I love it. There are not many people I know that can do that to me.
I don't think I'm any of those either. I am married to a man, I have been attracted to some females but not many. I am also attracted to trans men. Its not really what's between the legs that gets me. Honestly I am really attracted to people forearms. So am I arm-sexual? I don't really wanna label any of it. If it felt right and good I would give it a chance no matter what gender they identified as.

Marriage is its own thing, and I take those vows very seriously.

That's the beauty of it, two become one, in so many ways.

I deeply love my wife.   I make sure she knows it.

[Ativan Prescribed]

Yep, you can say you are one of the terms used to express sexuality, and you don't have to use any of them either.
It depends on who you are talking to or the situation you are in, and that is also a condition of being NB, for a lot of us, it can all of those or none of those.
It just doesn't have to be a choice based on any of them or none of them, it is just a choice between you and another person.
And me... nice collarbones just do something for me, but they are certainly not a deal breaker, and neither are any of the terms or the lack of them.
It isn't confusing to be NB, it might look like it from another's point of view, but it is usually the narrower that view is, the more confusing it is going to be.
And that probably holds true for a lot of things for that same person, the world is a vast chasm of confusion that they have to wade through, but it doesn't have to be, it is the problem of narrow points of view, they are maybe necessary for some things, but if you hold onto them as if that view is the rule and law that all of life has to follow to be that righteous person, then a righteous person is nothing more than a narrow point of view.
It is the ability to take it all in and be less judging when you can that is going to get you to the righteous person, how else could they be?
One with a pole stuck up their ass outlook on life, especially if that pole has a pointed end stuck in the ground and holds them in place, how could that be the righteous person?
The terms for sexuality are just descriptors that are used, they are not the rules and laws and the have to pick one and nothing more, if there is multiple choice, I choose that.

[danishcouple]

Before starting testosterone we thought that we were lesbians.
But wen we came inside the bigender / third gender group this is changed.
In side these group we learned about our sexuality, that we're not are lesbians, but are attracted to all others who dentify's with the third gender.
The only thing were we are not attracted to are nb who have had surgery's that's a no go, and we don't not know why.
We are attracted to amab who are on estrogen, having a penis breasts and smooth skin, but also ar afam who are on testosterone  having a vagina, breasts but also beards and body hair.
And on testosterone is our sexual needs also changed, before it was soft and smooth, now day's hard and extreme and we don't not know where tis come from maybe testosterone or maybe we had this feelings for hard and extreme before but deepley awy inside us, but has more to come while on testosterone.

[koiandras]

I found this list on Reddit recently, which was useful/interesting. (Correction to Uranic - "female-aligned or feminine".)

Looks like I'm bisexual/orchidian.