I personally identify as Androgynous and wanted to know if I have to come out to my parents. They're already buying me a sports binder, I got them to let me get my hair in a pixie cut, and I don't care what pronouns anyone uses for me. Is it really necessary for me to come out??
THIS, right here is something that everyone needs to know, that when you do, you can't take it back and it isn't going to go the way you want.
It is unpredictable and people can and will change how they see it, good or bad, it will change. Hopefully good and it does after time usually.
But nobody needs to come out to anyone, period.
It's a burning thing in us all to want others to know and to be respected for our pronouns, but the reactions are going to be mixed.
People don't really give a crap about your gender, because they don't really give theirs much thought, so why should yours be any different?
If they want to see the world as binary, they are going to until the times come when they don't and who knows if that even happens?
They have always called you this or that pronoun, to them it is as if you want to use a plant species and change your name to garbled mess.
At work it can be a problem or not, it depends on so many things, but you aren't required to out yourself there either.
The need to do it is yours and it isn't up to you to say whether anyone has to accept it or not, and arguing the point is futile in most cases.
Arguing just causes most people to dig in harder about it, because they don't want to have to deal with it, they already do and that works already for them.
But sometimes arguing the point is the only way that people are going to change their minds if they are going to at all, and they might not need to, you never know.
I'm sure there are people who are completely aware of gender differences and that they can't see anything wrong with it, they don't care, you're good to go.
But step back a minute and ask yourself why you want to come out at all, list the reasons and go over them all, give them priorities.
Once you have it established in your mind the order of importance, you can make a plan, and really, nobody else can do that for you, it's always different.
But know that you might be up against a major challenge, some people are so stuck in this binary and trans id this, and gay is that, and why do you want to be different than them, after all, they don't have these problems and look at how well their lives are going and the earth is flat.
Coming out is a hard thing to do, so pave the way ahead of you instead of just tossing a coin or just blurting it out, prepared them for it, and you for their reactions.
If you really want to know how it is going to be on at least the first go around, just ask these people what they think about it all, you have no way of knowing otherwise, even the most redneck person can understand it, and for others who it should be simple, they could be afraid because it will ultimately cause society and their bank accounts to fail, electricity will go away, all kinds of weird crap, you never know.
I think it's perfectly fair to come out, it isn't like your making them change their gender or even to consider it, it's just gender, and pronouns, and after that it is the respect you want the same as they get already for theirs.
But aside, it isn't some earth shattering thing and doesn't need to be, but you never know, it might be for some.
If you feel it out in advance, then you are going to have an idea of the reaction and you might want to put it off some until you can maneuver those waters.
But understand what you are asking people, it isn't much at all from your perspective, but it can be a lot for theirs and it does depend on the relationship.
If you know it is going to destroy it, do you want to do that? It could be a lot of pain that they don't need or you, it becomes a decision and you need to do it right.
But for a lot of people, coming out isn't a thing, it's not anyone's business and they could care less about what other people think, they have their lives to live.
But if you have the need to come out and are ready to weather any storm that might come up, then it's something you want to do, but still are not or even never required to do that, it is giving some very personal information to people who might just hear it from someone and that alone can be the biggest problem.
It depends on where you live, it depends on the politics of the people you run with, but politics is so divisive that everything seems to depend on it.
But there it is, no requirements for anyone to come out, it's just your personal desires to let others know and that can be good enough right there, especially if it is accepted and you're good to go with it when it isn't.
But there are no requirements with gender at all, there just isn't for any aspect of it, there are no rules, it is what you think it is, and it is for what others think it is.
You can't take it away from them and they can't take it away from you, they can dislike it, but what good does that do them? It is just gender.
It isn't like you just decided to become this or that gender, and if it is just becoming apparent to you, then you might want to think this through, delay coming out until you have the answers to the questions that you never know which ones will be asked if they are at all.
It's kinda like deciding that you are going to be making a huge change in life, except that you aren't, it isn't going to be any different for them, it might be better for you.
And if it isn't going to change their lives, then it should be a no problem kind of thing, but people like to decide your gender for you because they already have, and if that really bothers you, then coming out could be a big thing, let them know they don't have that power over you. Some people get offended because they think they do.
But whatever you are going to tell them, just be sure that you have the answers and that you can explain it and that you have preferences like they do, and you'd like to have their respect like you have for them, it's just gender and despite that it is important to you that you have yours, they probably don't even think about it much.
