Hello I'm EJ

[EJ]

Hi my Name is EJ,
I don't want to state my age except that I'm a teenager. I'd prefer they/them pronouns, but she/her are fine.
I came across nonbinary and all the identities that fall under it recently. At first I didn't really think about them much, but as learned more about things like genderfluidity, neutrois, and demigirls, something was starting to click.

The real reason I joined this forum is, I needed advice and insight from other NB people. You see, I feel some connection to gender fluidity and nonbinary identities, but not completely. I keep telling myself that my feelings are valid, but I can't help but feel that I'm just a cis girl trying to be special. (I'm assuming this is internalized transphobia) I told some of my friends about questioning my gender, and they were all very accepting, but because most of them are cis they couldn't give me any advice. Do you have any advice or insight? Have any of you felt this way?

[Becky]

Greetings, EJ!

Teenage life is hard enough for cisgender folks, let alone people who identify as non-binary. I'm not an expert by any means, but let me at least tell you what I wish someone had told me when I was a teenager: you be you. And if what you are doesn't fit perfectly in one of the boxes society has made, that's fine. And if what you are seems to shift from time to time, that's also fine.

Being gender fluid in a cisgender world is like sliding around on ice while everyone else is walking on solid ground. Just know that everyone on this forum is on the same skating rink as you, and we're all in this together. I have found this space to be a safe and supportive one, and I hope you can find it that way as well.

So, from one demigirl to another (albeit coming from opposite directions), welcome to the forum!

[Ativan Prescribed]

It takes time to figure it out, it's common to think you might be wrong, but my guess is that you've come this far so your feelings are valid right there.
Don't worry about labels, they are confusing and using them can cause you to be stuck with one, when it doesn't fit.
Gender is a given for cis, they never question it and have no idea because of that, but again, that you have found your way here is proof that you are at least more sensitive about it.
Look through old threads, it isn't very hard to navigate through them, or just start a new on for yourself.
You can have an open blog for yourself if you want, some do.
There are no mods, the golden rule applies.
It's an easy place to be, might take time to get some answers to questions, sometimes people aren't on here for a length of time.
Make yourself at home, it becomes like a big family here after a while.

[Trinity]

Welcome to the forum!

My path was a bit different. Im so old computers didnt exist and nobody knew about trans much.

Glad you are here.

[smallpal]

Hey EJ! I'm pretty new here, too, so lemme extend a welcome to you!
My girlfriend has been in a pretty similar situation since we were in high school, I think. They go by they/them pronouns, but also don't mind she/her. They also present very femininely, so they are read as a girl by most everyone outside of their circle - but they are still very non-binary! Gender is weird and sometimes it can feel like a mess, but I'm glad that you've been able to explore and that your friends have been cool about everything.

[Petri]

Hi EJ ^^ Welcome to the forum! I often feel scared that other people will think that I just want to be special, that I just want attention, and sometimes I worry they might be right (although these "people" are just my own thoughts). But I know I'm a worrier. I wish I had some friends that weren't cis, that would probably help. Seeing people who you can relate to is my advice I guess ^^ This forum also helps! Check out NB people on youtube, instagram, blogs, it's very good.

[EJ]

Thank you guys so much for the advice! I look forward talking to all of you more!

[EchelonHunt]

Welcome, EJ!

When I was a teen, I struggled with the binary genders, I felt if I didn't feel comfortable being female, that male must be the right one, right? It was half-right, I eventually came to the conclusion I felt a disconnect from male and female. I felt genderless - this is still the same, but I experience fluctuations of masculinity and femininity. I yearn to have a smooth, hairless curvy male body and a feminine presentation. Basically, I'm ok with being legally male, just I love having the freedom of looking male, female both or neither, being a chameleon in this society we live in.