Needadvice
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Needadvice
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GUEST
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Post by Needadvice on Nov 28, 2017 8:21:59 GMT 8
HI! I'm hoping to get some advice. I'm older, almost 36, and AFAB. I have lived my life as a woman since birth (divorced, have kids, etc.), however, I have always felt like something isn't right. My default is dressing "masculinely", but there have been times I wanted to fit in, would buy "feminine" clothes, wear them some, and then feel so out of place with myself that I get rid of them. I have finally decided I'm going to stop pretending with clothes and wear what makes me comfortable, not what others tell me I should wear. But it's deeper than that. I feel I identify as a woman, I use female pronouns, and I don't feel like a man, nor do I desire to transition to a man. However, I never feel stereotypically feminine. I hate makeup, jewelry, i don't shave, my interests are more "male" ( geeky things and football), and I have started wearing sports bras forncompression because I hate my breasts with a passion. But under it all, I am emotional and compassionate like a stereotypical woman. I consider myself pansexual, but have never told anyone. So...I'm not sure of my gender. I don't think I'm non binary completely, because I never feel like a man, or that I have no gender at all. I feel kind of like a woman, but not like a woman all the time, but have major dysphoria towards my breasts, but never feel like a man, although I dress masculinely and have geeky usually considered male interests.
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7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,576
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Nov 28, 2017 9:57:44 GMT 8
Sounds kinda normal around here. Read up on the posts, plenty to find. Dont worry about labels. Just enjoy the gender ride. Your in the right place.
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Needadvice
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Needadvice
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January 1970
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Post by Needadvice on Nov 28, 2017 11:08:40 GMT 8
Sounds kinda normal around here. Read up on the posts, plenty to find. Dont worry about labels. Just enjoy the gender ride. Your in the right place. Thanks!! I know labels aren't necessary...i just sometimes wonder what I am...
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inherit
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Apr 29, 2024 23:43:17 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,576
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Nov 28, 2017 11:49:54 GMT 8
Sounds kinda normal around here. Read up on the posts, plenty to find. Dont worry about labels. Just enjoy the gender ride. Your in the right place. Thanks!! I know labels aren't necessary...i just sometimes wonder what I am... A lot of us do. But we get more and more comfortable with who we are. And perceptions shift here and there. Its a long journey. Most are different. Key is not self deceiving.
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Jennifer (Tink)
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Jul 27, 2016 6:39:50 GMT 8
July 2016
jennifer
MTF
Female
She/Her
Pansexual
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Post by Jennifer (Tink) on Nov 29, 2017 20:25:48 GMT 8
When I first started my journey, I had thought I was squarely Non-Binary. I was able to shift from male to female perspective almost in an instant. Now that I am 2 years in and 5 months on HRT I know that I am definitely binary trans woman. I have even been considering SRS (though I am waiting a year before I make any decisions). Don't worry about the labels. Just live your life however you feel most comfortable. I am a super geek (video games, D&D, electronic tech), non of those are "masculine" and in fact the girl gaming community is starting to really gain ground. In the end, what you feel in your heart of hearts is what you will eventually come to accept. Just give yourself time and be open to listening to your inner voice :hugs: -- Jenn
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veronicalynn
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Post by Leena on Nov 30, 2017 10:45:39 GMT 8
I originally thought I was a binary trans woman, though I later came to see that I am non-binary.
The big thing for me, is really how I want the world to see me. I don't want to be a stealth trans woman that everyone thinks was AFAB. I want to be seen as genderfluid/non-binary. I don't feel comfortable at all going out fully en femme, though feel just about as uncomfortable, perhaps more so, in fully guy mode also.
I don't ever feel like I don't have a gender either, I think I just have some attributes that society considers masculine and many attributes society considers feminine, and am making minor changes to my appearance to reflect that.
It can take a while to figure out just what you are, but the exploration is well worth it.
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Needadvice
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Needadvice
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Post by Needadvice on Nov 30, 2017 11:21:25 GMT 8
I originally thought I was a binary trans woman, though I later came to see that I am non-binary. The big thing for me, is really how I want the world to see me. I don't want to be a stealth trans woman that everyone thinks was AFAB. I want to be seen as genderfluid/non-binary. I don't feel comfortable at all going out fully en femme, though feel just about as uncomfortable, perhaps more so, in fully guy mode also. I don't ever feel like I don't have a gender either, I think I just have some attributes that society considers masculine and many attributes society considers feminine, and am making minor changes to my appearance to reflect that. It can take a while to figure out just what you are, but the exploration is well worth it. I'm waiting for approval of my registration, so I will still post as a guest. Thanks for your input! What you said about having attributes that society considers feminine and masculine really struck me. My feminine attributes would more be my emotion. I am VERY emotional, but I don't present myself femininely for the most part. I have tried through the years to play the part of a cis woman. I got.married had kids and even tried dressing the part. Dressing feminine just never felt right to me. I have nothing wrong with others wanting to, and in fact I think women/men/people with well done makeup are beautiful and admor able for the talent involved, but no.matter how hard u try, it doesn't feel right for me personally. I'm just me.
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Needadvice
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Needadvice
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Post by Needadvice on Nov 30, 2017 11:35:42 GMT 8
When I first started my journey, I had thought I was squarely Non-Binary. I was able to shift from male to female perspective almost in an instant. Now that I am 2 years in and 5 months on HRT I know that I am definitely binary trans woman. I have even been considering SRS (though I am waiting a year before I make any decisions). Don't worry about the labels. Just live your life however you feel most comfortable. I am a super geek (video games, D&D, electronic tech), non of those are "masculine" and in fact the girl gaming community is starting to really gain ground. In the end, what you feel in your heart of hearts is what you will eventually come to accept. Just give yourself time and be open to listening to your inner voice :hugs: -- Jenn Hi Jennifer! I don't know if I am Nonbinary or not. I suppose i am in a way since I don't fit in that neatly labeled cis woman box. I'm definitely not agender, because I do feel like a female at times. I don't even know what it would be like to feel male. Maybe I do and don't realize it? Maybe since I have been trying for the most part for the last 36 years to fit into my expected AFAB role I haven't explored it? I don't shave, I have started to bind, and in those two ways I feel like I am being true to myself. This past summer for the first time I finally had the courage to go out in public with shorts and unshaved legs. So maybe I don't know the full definition of Nonbinary, or maybe I am something else completely. I don't think I feel like I have no gender at all, but then again I don't fully feel like a woman or a man, but I identify as a woman. I'm a puzzle for sure. I haven't told anyone about my internal struggle, either. I worry what they will think of me, and I wonder what to tell my children. I'm a super geek here! I love cartoons, animation, voice actors, sci-fi, table top games, etc. I'm glad you are comfortable with yourself! I've considered hormones, but I don't know. I like the part of me that's female, I'm just not.overly expressive with it. Do I want to feel more male? Don't know. The idea of a deeper voice and facial hair is oddly neat to me, but I just don't know. Nonbinary I suppose I am. Who knows. I'm me lol.
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Needadvice
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Needadvice
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Post by Needadvice on Nov 30, 2017 11:40:05 GMT 8
Thanks!! I know labels aren't necessary...i just sometimes wonder what I am... A lot of us do. But we get more and more comfortable with who we are. And perceptions shift here and there. Its a long journey. Most are different. Key is not self deceiving. For most of my life, I have hid who I am behind the roles expected of me. Now that my kids are getting older and more independent, I I feel I'm slowly beginning to accept myself for whatever I really am.
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Nov 30, 2017 11:47:45 GMT 8
Non-binary is simply not binary, from there it breaks down into various genders, labels and specifics. Don't worry about anything other than being you and realizing you don't seem to fit the binary. It's a journey, can be one without a destination, and that's usually how it goes, but then it's the journey that is the adventure, not the destination. Take it a bit at a time, I tend to call it being on the path, and in that, it's always about the next curve up ahead. You can try all you want, but you don't know what is there until you see around the curve. Take care of what is on the path now and pay attention to what lies ahead, but it is rarely something that is predictable.
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bubbleteachild
New Member
| Kai | he/him |
Posts: 33
Gender: FTM Non-Binary
Presentation: Masculine
Pronouns: he/they
Orientation: Bisexual
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bubbleteachild
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kahootwarrior
FTM Non-Binary
Masculine
he/they
Bisexual
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Post by bubbleteachild on Dec 9, 2017 22:10:48 GMT 8
This is a very common thing (and is actually how I started questioning my gender as well!). You can find out your label by reading up on different identities online, since there are a l o t lol, or if you're perfectly comfortable with being label-less then that's awesome! I know that it's probably dumb for me to just shove a word in your face, but you've been describing the term "demigirl" this entire time. A demigirl is someone who feels mainly female but also feels disconnected from a female identity at times. Funny story from when I identified as this; I felt that the word demigirl best described me but that there was too much "girl" in demigirl, so I identified as an A N D R O G Y N O U S demigirl. And looking back at it now it's like so obvious that I was just uncomfortable being female but didn't want to show it. I really wish someone had slapped me and said "HEY KAI YOU IDIOT YOU'RE A BOY!!" sooner than I realized it lol.
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loveliving
Junior Member
Enter your message here...
Posts: 63
Gender: Gender Neutral
Presentation: Dress Masculine, look female
Pronouns: Meredith
Orientation: Homosexual
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loveliving
Enter your message here...
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Aug 23, 2017 9:14:27 GMT 8
August 2017
loveliving
Gender Neutral
Dress Masculine, look female
Meredith
Homosexual
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Post by loveliving on Dec 9, 2017 22:44:00 GMT 8
I’m 56 and started my journey in April. Things have definitely changed as I went through the process. In the beginning I knew that I didn’t like female pronouns (she/her). Then I thought about what pronouns I should use. I struggled with this for a couple of days, because I couldn’t find things online about how I was feeling. So luckily I knew someone that had a lot of experience dealing with the transgender community. When I talked to them they let me know I could use what ever pronouns made me comfortable, so I started using my name. After I month I realized that the words like girl, mam, and sister bothered me when I was referred to as that. I wanted people to use person, say “you have a good day” leaving off mam. I now know that I am gender neutral. In the beginning of this I would have called myself gender fluid. But each day I evolve and hope some day we can get along in the world without everyone having to be labeled with what their sexual or gender identity are. But that might be just wishful thinking. We do love our labels. 😂
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