Jay
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Jay
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January 1970
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Post by Jay on Sept 23, 2017 6:41:22 GMT 8
Does anyone relate to me dreaded puberty used to squash breasts to prevent growth hated them sticking out now 28 feel dysphoria when I have to wear a sportsbra for sport at least I think it is dysphoria wanted top surgery to get flat chest so I can be free to run jump ect OK sounfds a bit silly and crazy but these are some of the thoughts that run through my head I might be just a Ciswoman who hate bras I just want someone to relate to most women would be horrified by top surgery what's wrong with me?? Maybe I'm not cis feel like woman though just a feeling I guess
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jasonmitchellemail@gmail.com
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EchelonHunt
Avatar by @hitsukuya
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Nov 17, 2014 22:05:35 GMT 8
November 2014
admin
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Post by EchelonHunt on Sept 23, 2017 8:49:14 GMT 8
Hi Jay!
It's not silly or crazy at all. It's very normal.
The things you describe sounds like dysphoria. I had the same, I dreaded puberty, I didn't ask for breasts or periods, nor did I want to be welcomed to womanhood/motherhood. The idea of sex and falling pregnant terrified me. I would feel physically sick. I had nightmares of being raped long before I even knew what rape entailed. I loved sports when I was young and was a late bloomer so I could still enjoy sports in high school until late highschool, they started developing and I couldn't play sports anymore because I hated running/jumping, etc, as the result, I began emotional eating and gained a ton of weight. Going to buy a bra was humiliating and I would break down crying because I didn't want to buy a bra, I wanted my flat chest again from when I was a child.
I had top surgery a few years ago. I haven't gotten back into sports yet but I hope to. I feel a lot happier with my chest compared to what I had before. I feel more comfortable in my skin and tshirts fit so much better.
You could be non-binary - what about all other aspects of your life? Socially, romantically, sexually, do you identify as a woman in those areas? You could be a cis-woman who just feels more comfortable in her skin with a flat chest. Only you can know the answer.
It's entirely possible for cis-people to have dysphoria, they're just not 100% cis but continue identifying as cis because they don't feel like they are completely trans/non-binary just because they want to change one or a few physical feature about themselves e.g. breasts. There's a cis-woman on instagram who got top surgery, she opted for no nipples, identifies as androgynous and still calls herself a butch, lesbian and other female-centric labels (will share link later). There's another woman who got her breasts removed with no nipple grafts and a vaginectomy (removal of vagina and external parts) because she said she has no need for those parts. There's even cis-men who will get their penis and testicles removed and some will have the scrotum modified to look like external appearance of a vagina. They still look masculine and proudly call themselves a man with a vagina. These people challenge the gender norms and reassert that you don't need breasts to be validated as a woman, you don't need male genitalia to be validated as a man. It's entirely possible to be flat-chested and empowered as a woman, to have a vagina and be empowered as man.
Only you can know the answer but from what you've written, it does sound like you have dysphoria over your chest and you're not crazy or silly at all. You're not alone!
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Jay
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Apr 30, 2024 14:55:16 GMT 8
Jay
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Apr 30, 2024 14:55:16 GMT 8
January 1970
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Post by Jay on Sept 23, 2017 18:31:18 GMT 8
Thank you for answering my question I do feel female socially eg female pronouns feel right I thought if I had dysphoria I had to fit in one camp either woman or nonbinary. I went to the doctors to get a gender therapist and talked about my dysphoria but was not taken seriously! I don't think I would be ready for top surgery just yet but I would still consider it. on a day to day level I kinda like them its only when get hit by extreme feeling where I'd be happier without.
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jasonmitchellemail@gmail.com
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Dec 31, 2023 12:41:47 GMT 8
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EchelonHunt
Avatar by @hitsukuya
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Nov 17, 2014 22:05:35 GMT 8
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Post by EchelonHunt on Sept 23, 2017 20:14:48 GMT 8
Hi Jay! So you are ok with female pronouns but do you identify as a woman? What is your internal sense of gender, do you know? You can be either a cis-woman or non-binary. You CAN be both - you can be a non-binary woman, this means you are non-binary in gender identity and female in terms of genitalia. Using myself as an example, I call myself agender male. Agender is my gender identity, male is what my sex is. Other people use the Male/female part to describe their social role in society, that they are ok with male or female pronouns. I'm so sorry that you weren't taken seriously. Can you please elaborate more on that? What did you say and what did the doctor say? Go and see another doctor if you can. Just ask for a referral to see a gender therapist and that you'd like to talk to someone who has professional knowledge in dealing with gender issues. Don't go into detail of dysphoria - save that for when you meet the gender therapist. Many doctors can be ignorant to the topics of gender - especially dysphoria, many don't know what it means so they will dismiss it as crazy talk. Even if you were ready for top surgery, there is a waiting period involved anyway. It sounds like it is too soon to decide anything, I sense there is a lot of uncertainty. You say you kinda like them, what is happening when you feel these feelings? And what is happening when you do get hit by the extreme feelings? Maybe instead of top surgery, have you thought about a reduction? It'll make them smaller so they don't get in the way in sports and you can still enjoy them. Also, don't be afraid to sign up to the forum, we don't bite!
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Jay
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Jay
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January 1970
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Post by Jay on Sept 24, 2017 0:54:49 GMT 8
Yes I identity as a woman and feel like a woman not sure what feeling like a woman feels like I feel like me. I told my doctor I thought I might have a form of breast dysphoria like I would be happy without them she asked did I want to be a man I said no she said it did not sound like dysphoria.regarding top surgery I'm scared I will regret it or I might develop more dysphoria iv heard that can happen I do not want male hormones I guess I'm just nervous and scared plus how my family would react scared of rejection. I like my breasts I think they look nice somedayts I will be feeling down but when I think of top surgery I feel better it always feels like a far off thought something I will do in the distant future if it where to become a reality in my life it would feel to real to scary it feels like to much to go through plus I think my family would reject me I feel to old daft I know. I don't mind the breast size there not massive or tiny I try to imagine wheat I would feel like with a flat chest I think it would have its benefits no more stupid sportsbra or bras in general no breast pain when I run or saggy breasts in the future scared to have a saggy breasts the reason I would not want smaller breasts is because iv heard even small breasts it can be painful running without a braso I thought flat chest no breat tissue no pain sounds mad but that's my thought process scared I will get dysphoria over having a flat chest!! Scared of peoples reactions men like breasts don't they? Sorry for long post Jay
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Jennifer (Tink)
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Jul 27, 2016 6:39:50 GMT 8
July 2016
jennifer
MTF
Female
She/Her
Pansexual
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Post by Jennifer (Tink) on Sept 24, 2017 5:06:24 GMT 8
Just putting a thought out there. Have you considered a binder?
I am in the opposite position. I am looking forward to actually having breasts, but that's my dysphoria. I'm MTF and part of my issue is my body.
But I have heard others talk about binding and it seems to have a positive effect on them. Maybe it's an alternative to surgery if there are only some days you wish to be flat chested?
Just a thought
:hugs:
-- Jenn
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ilikefilms
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Post by ilikefilms on Sept 24, 2017 5:39:04 GMT 8
I have thought about a binder they look a bit uncomfortable and they might damage breast tissue
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jasonmitchellemail@gmail.com
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Dec 31, 2023 12:41:47 GMT 8
3,521
EchelonHunt
Avatar by @hitsukuya
3,193
Nov 17, 2014 22:05:35 GMT 8
November 2014
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Post by EchelonHunt on Sept 24, 2017 9:21:56 GMT 8
I didn't even think of binders haha.
If you get a binder that is properly fit to your size, it shouldn't be too uncomfortable. Like a pair of shoes, binders will be tight at first until you break it in due to wearing it more.
If you are only using it on days where you want a flat chest, you'll be fine as the binder is only being used short term. The only time you have to worry about breast tissue damage is when you bind everyday for a couple of years. The damage is not nerve-wise, its only aesthetic, the breasts lose shape and become a bit saggy (thus making them easier to bind) but if you don't have to worry about that since you'll only be using the binder short term.
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ilikefilms
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Post by ilikefilms on Sept 24, 2017 18:28:32 GMT 8
I'll try a binder and see how I feel
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7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,576
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Sept 25, 2017 11:56:29 GMT 8
I'll try a binder and see how I feel Good for you
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
Deleted
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guest@proboards.com
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Deleted
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2017 4:42:12 GMT 8
OK Jay. I am an MTF and even though male I have gynochomastia and grew breasts. Yes they get sensitive and so on. I got called a lot of names and eventually could not participate in PE anymore. I had to change schools even. Driving now on rough roads hurts like hell so I wear a bra and some roads they still bounce around a little too much and hurt.
I hate wearing bras too. Why should any woman have to wear bras? I have A cups and they are just as sensitive as D cups. I wear bras when I drive one of my trucks or take a road tip.
So maybe a binder? But I would suggest just letting them go. Society says women have to wear a bra and it actually accentuates the breasts if you are into that but if not... Other than that I really don't know what else to say.
I will say that my A cups are noticeable in a T or loose tank. Even in tighter clothing. I can sometimes get away without a bra if I buy pasties though to keep the nipples down.
But in short there is nothing wrong with you. I hate bras too. I can get away with A cups but going down the road especially in La I need to wear the bra to keep them from hurting with all the bouncing. I can take it off when I get somewhere because bras suck in humid hot areas when you sweat.
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Jay
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Apr 30, 2024 14:55:16 GMT 8
Jay
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Apr 30, 2024 14:55:16 GMT 8
January 1970
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Post by Jay on Sept 28, 2017 1:29:37 GMT 8
Thank you for replying Jamie its really good to know I'm not alone It feels like I'm the only person going through this sometimes can't really talk about this with family their distance and transphobic there not very open so I tend to work things out on my own which isn't healthy I know thank you for all your replies
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Wormmms
Junior Member
Posts: 72
Gender: Other
Pronouns: They/Them
Orientation: Bi/Ace
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Wormmms
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wormmms
Other
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Bi/Ace
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Post by Wormmms on Oct 6, 2017 1:20:57 GMT 8
I just want to say that it is possible to still identify as female and want to have a flat chest. I've seen a few instances (on the internet) of cis girls who got top surgery because they just didn't like their breasts. There actually are surgeons who will perform top surgery without a letter from a therapist- it's called operating under informed consent. You might have to travel or pay a bit more but it is an option. Here's a list: www.topsurgery.net/surgeons/informed-consent.htmIt's not mandatory to identify as nonbinary just because you want top surgery. If the label feels uncomfortable, then don't use it. Labels were created to serve us. We don't have to contort ourselves and justify our feelings just so we can fit comfortably into one category or another.
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Kat
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Apr 30, 2024 14:55:16 GMT 8
Kat
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January 1970
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Post by Kat on Nov 21, 2017 17:21:25 GMT 8
Hi Jay I know this this post is a bit old now but I have just found this forum and I have to say I feel exactly the same. I have always been so ashamed about my body and often try to imagine what I would look like without breasts. I get really uncomfortable when people refer to me as a woman but I definitely don't feel like a man. If I could operate without a label that is what I would do but the thought of communicating that with my family and friends just feels so hard. Sometimes I don't know if I'm just making this up and if I push it to the back of my head it will go away.
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Jay
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Apr 30, 2024 14:55:16 GMT 8
Jay
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Apr 30, 2024 14:55:16 GMT 8
January 1970
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Post by Jay on Dec 1, 2017 4:49:31 GMT 8
Hi kat Thanks for replying it’s nice to know I’m not alone since I came to this site I’ve discovered that a lot of people are going though the same thing and it’s competly normal. I can definitely relate to what you are saying. I’m not an expert on these things do you have a family member you trust or friend you could tell them how you feel or maybe a therapist is there a non binary group you could go to please make sure your safe though are your family open minded? There’s some great people on here who are more experienced in these things than me but I hope I helped a little bye J
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