How to not freak out while shopping for men's clothing

[androfinn]

Hi!

I'm going shopping for men's clothing today, I'm androgynous non binary assigned female at birth. I'm really excited about going, but also scared. What if the staff in the clothing store are male, or not friendly towards nb people? How the heck am I supposed to know what size shirts and ties I can wear? Any and all help on this topic is appreciated.

[Leena]

Cis-gender women shop for men all the time. Whether it's for their son, or husband, or whatever...there are often lots of women in the men's department.

For casual clothes, generally men's sizes are one size larger than women's. i.e., Men's Large = Women's Extra Large.

For dress shirts, it's an entirely different system, and somewhat complicated, though there are some semi-casual shirts that put both a number size and a M/L/XL size that could give you a general idea. If you are looking to buy a dress shirt, or a suit, you probably just need to let them measure you. Big chains like Macy's, Sears, and JC Penney are unlikely to give you much trouble, they are struggling as it is, and don't need bad press by refusing service. You don't have to buy from them, but they will measure you if you ask.

Ties don't usually have a size, they are pretty adjustable by the way you tie them, though there are some for really tall guys, and there are smaller ones designed for boys.

[Trinity]

I usually shop in a city out of town, so i dont worry about who is around.

Guys wont care who is shopping. Shoes go a size down..ie womens 9 is mans 8.

Looser shirts hide boobs better. A medium shirt can show mine, a large does not.

Have fun. Its a milestone.

I still have some discomfort shopping myself.

[loveliving]

I was scared at first. And having a lot of difficulty with sizing since I am a tall slender female, who likes to wear button downs and bow ties. I actually finally asked a sales associate to measure me. They did with no questions and since then I haven't had any trouble. I have also learned that most cismen do not like to try on clothes, so there is always a dressing room available.

[Ativan Prescribed]

It pretty much is an easy place to shop, you don't owe them an explanation and male or female, they aren't looking for one.
A lot of women shop for mens clothes, and nobody is going to be surprised to see a female looking person shopping there.
It isn't at all like a man in the womens dept, but even then, they don't really care, they want the sales, if they throw down any kind of moral judgment on anyone, they won't be working retail long, and if it is a store policy, they won't be in business long.
I've shopped in the womens dept for a long time, if anything, the sales staff or more fun than if I needed something in the mens dept.
Granted it's fairly liberal here, but there are still a lot of holdouts for the good ol' days when men were men mentality kind of throwbacks.
Even dressing rooms, I look way to male to be using a womens dressing room, just like I doubt I'd get away with using the ladies room, but it's certainly easy enough to just take your stuff and go to a dressing room that works for you.
They don't know if you are shopping for yourself or someone else, and even if you say it is for you, they want the sale, they need it to keep their jobs.
Ten years ago, twenty for sure, this would be a tough thing, but seriously, not that many people are going to say anything, they need the business.
And people don't really care that much, especially salespeople, they've seen it all... heard it all...
It's really only a very few people in the country who make a big deal out of it and they probably to scared to say anything in public.
The very few who do are usually shut down by the people around them if they take it to far, only other bigots like bigots, most people have no time for their crap and won't take it, not for them or for someone else.
You should be able to go and shop the way you want, where you want, without people making judgement calls, mostly because they just don't know who you are shopping for.
Just go for it, if sizes are tough to figure out, go online and look at the size charts that most clothes sites have, and some even have a conversion for you.

[Dippy]

I'm the other way round. I'm AMAB and I've only recently begun to acknowledge my nonbinariness. Consequently I don't have much in the way of "women's" clothes. So it was in my "male" garb that I went out to shop for "women's" clothes. I had no problem with that, but when I asked if I could use the fitting room, the assistant looked at the sheer blouses I was holding and said, in something of a confused and flustered manner: "You do know that those are ladies' garments?" I said "Yes, I do, and I'd like to try them on for size and fit, please." Once she had got over the shock the assistant became most helpful and when she saw me in the store later on, she asked me if I had found something to suit me, and I was able to say yes and to thank her for her help.

[Trinity]

Aug 31, 2017 14:11:10 GMT 8 Dippy said:

I'm the other way round. I'm AMAB and I've only recently begun to acknowledge my nonbinariness. Consequently I don't have much in the way of "women's" clothes. So it was in my "male" garb that I went out to shop for "women's" clothes. I had no problem with that, but when I asked if I could use the fitting room, the assistant looked at the sheer blouses I was holding and said, in something of a confused and flustered manner: "You do know that those are ladies' garments?" I said "Yes, I do, and I'd like to try them on for size and fit, please." Once she had got over the shock the assistant became most helpful and when she saw me in the store later on, she asked me if I had found something to suit me, and I was able to say yes and to thank her for her help.

The thing I like about this post is the complete lack of pretense and the complete strength of living zir truth.

Hope i did that right.

[muse]

I go with my partner and brazen my way through. Eli, not so much, but having me there is greatly helpful. Women often wear mens clothing, I am Femme and I do at times, and my youngest daughter wears a suit. I think that it is much easier these days for AFAB NB and FTM people to find good sales help in this process. Most people will not look to closely at a AFAB going into mens area for clothing since it is really that common these days. Try Good Will or a 2nd hand shop first so you have an idea what sizes you wear for ordering. Most of these places are not judgemental and see lots of ciswomen even go into mens clothing to find something to wear. As for online, use the measurements given on the site. As the Mother of a cismale son, I can say this:

Ties...only come in one length unless they are youth. They come in different widths some skinnier than others and I would recomend for a smaller in stature person a thinner tie or a youth size for a better fit.

Pants: males measure their waists......so go by waist size, unless you are pretty curvy you can wear by waist size. If curvy look for husky or even a size up. Mens pants are not cut for female hips.

Tops: Go by neck and chest size for dress shirts, and I would always go by chest size(over your bosom with abar on) to measure for a plainer shirt. If you bind, or are small on top, it is easier for you to find a shirt hat fits and buttons. If you get too small then you will pull at the buttons and that looks terrible.

Boxers or boxer briefs...take hip size into account, measure and go by that size.

T-shirts/Undershirts: go by chest size, again measure over your bosom with a bra on.

I hope this helps a little bit.

[coco]

Went to the men's dept here in a store for the first time yesterday! here in the UK, M&S is like JC Penneys in the US I guess? Anyway, they are not only a men's store, they also sell women's and children's clothing, and kitchenwear and food all in one. So I went upstairs, and yes I was nervous, as I did not know what to expect and there were a few men (just three or so) and a woman with her husband, and a woman bringing her children to fit clothes from the children's dept in the men's changing rooms. So I started browsing and selecting a trouser, jeans and a shirt and went into the changing rooms. There was a man from the store, and I said is it ok if I come here to try on clothes for my boyfriend... oh dear. Usually I don't lie and I think he did not believe me anyway.. They don't do longer pipes than "33 so all the trousers (even the bigger ones) would not suit me as I am almost 6'1 tall lol. The shirt I first got L, but eh my hips stopped the shirt to hang loose but I totally liked the colour scheme, so I decided to get one in XL. So, no trousers, but a shirt. I can wear on sunday, when I go with my friends to the seaside ) XX