I need help... suggestions?

[transcendental]

I've been trying to figure out my gender identity but I still  can't find anything that seems me? I sometimes feel a bit masculine or feminine but most of the time I'm just existing. The same goes for pronouns. I  have no idea what to call myself and have an even harder time deciding what pronouns to give to others when they ask me; usually I'll give them the pronouns that traditionally match my biological sex but I kind of just want them to call me whatever. Its probably confusing but I would have no problem being they to some he to others and she to the rest. Additionally I have no idea what name I identify with anymore. I'll respond the quickest to my birth name but that's to be expected - lately I've just been going by my first initial so that nobody has to think about it.
Any ideas? 

[Yuki]

Jun 26, 2017 23:53:58 GMT 8 transcendental said:

I've been trying to figure out my gender identity but I still  can't find anything that seems me? I sometimes feel a bit masculine or feminine but most of the time I'm just existing. The same goes for pronouns. I  have no idea what to call myself and have an even harder time deciding what pronouns to give to others when they ask me; usually I'll give them the pronouns that traditionally match my biological sex but I kind of just want them to call me whatever. Its probably confusing but I would have no problem being they to some he to others and she to the rest. Additionally I have no idea what name I identify with anymore. I'll respond the quickest to my birth name but that's to be expected - lately I've just been going by my first initial so that nobody has to think about it.
Any ideas? 

As far as gender identity, you don't have to fit into any that are already out there. You can just be yourself, if you can't find one that you feel fits. You can always just use the more broad terms of nonbinary or genderqueer.. or trans, if you feel that you identify with that at all.

Most of the time when discussing gender, I just use nonbinary for myself because it covers everything and is more recognisable.

But I also understand wanting to have a label that more specifically fits. Not everyone wants that, but some do and I did. If you want that and you can't find one, you can always make up your own. Or, do a search for all of the gender identities out there and see which feels right. You can also try them on for some time, and feel free to change it as you understand yourself more, or if you ever feel differently.

You said sometimes you feel male or female and other times you're just existing. You could be genderfluid or genderflux, and switching between three genders?

As far as pronouns, it's perfectly okay to be fine with all of them. Maybe as time goes on, you'll figure out which ones feel more right. Or... maybe you'll never be bothered by any of them. Either way is fine and valid.

And names are the same. You could keep your birth name, if you want. Your name doesn't equal your gender. I want to change mine because I've always hated it and it never felt right. Not everyone feels a need to change it, though.

And even if you do, it might take some time to find the right one!

Basically, there's no one "right way" to be, and no one "right way" to experience your gender. Just take your time, and do what feels right to you! It takes time to figure it out, sometimes.

[Trinity]

Love your avatar.

We find ourselves seeking answers, formulas, something that lets us find and fit in with our tribe.

And nonbinary and trans identities are lonely, so finding your tribe and fitting in becomes a desperate force seeking for love.

But you are loved here anyway, this is the unicorn forest. There are no rules, only magic and mystery and a seeking of our truth.

Shared experience helps, feeling not alone...

I dont worry too much about labels. I dont like them much, though i identify as a nonbinary trans*** androgyne.

Labels constrict, I am air, labels are rock. My gender defies being contained, defies the binary.

And thats hard, its a lonely place, and as an older transperson I have suffered much.

All that said, kick back, tell us how it feels today. How it feels deep inside, physically, socially, emotionally.

Every path in the unicorn forest is different. They all have beauty, peril, grace, and a wonderful view over the mountains.

Welcome to your journey, through the Matrix of gender illusion, taking the red pill, and being set free, to discover your truth.

Enjoy the path before you.

You will find yourself here.

Trinity

[Wormmms]

I think the only way to figure out what you really want is to experiment. When you first recognize that you might have some kind of genderqueer identity it's super overwhelming because there's there are so few relatable role models, and next to no cultural guidelines. It's freeing but it's also A Lot (at least in my experience). Narrowing down what you're interested in by experimenting with different labels, forms of expression, etc. will help you understand where to place yourself on the gender spectrum. Unfortunately, no one can do that for you.

I suggest trying out different pronouns & names on forums & social media sites. You can also go to coffee shops & give them a name you're trying out just to see how it feels when someone calls you that in person. Think about where you want to be and what you want people to call you in 5 years. Think about what you would do with your presentation if there were no social restrictions.

[Ativan Prescribed]

Be careful with identities, they can have a life of their own and you'll find yourself trying to make yourself into them.
They are good if they fit, and know that they can and will change over time, you will, the definitions will.
Finding out the qualities that are you is more important than having a name for a group of them.
Most people won't know what a chosen identity is, even if you explain, there are always more questions.
Once you find that what you think about who you are is stable, go ahead, take a look at them.
The forum here is NB, Genderqueer, but that kinda falls under the NB name anyways, so you're covered here no matter what you decide on.
It does take time to navigate all the twists and turns, or paths as they are known here, paths in the Forest.
But they more you ask, the more you find out, and what people know here can be really helpful, and questions can bring up discussions that end up being even more helpful.
Look through old threads, comment if you want, bring back old threads is common enough, make new ones if you want, but feel free to ask questions.