Hey my name's Em and I need a community

[Elock]

Hello! My name is Em and I just came out as non-binary about 3 months ago.  I honestly would have come out before but I honestly didn't have a name for what I was feeling, I'm definitely not a girl but I'm not entirely a boy either or necessarily within the binary spectrum at all.  I've felt this was since I can pretty much remember. The second I was old enough to pick my own clothes out I chose only boy clothes until about 7th grade when society beat the queer out of me and formed me to their standards.  I always wanted to look like my boy cousins in their clothes and do all the same stuff they did and never once did I really do gender normative things as a kid except play with my doll and even then I used her to play doctor and not the typical tea party and dress up.  The more I read about non-binary the more I feel that there really are people like me, who feel like me, and that I'm not alone but I've had no way to contact anyone until now.  I've tried to find a queer community at home but I just can't seem to find anyone even though I live in basically a gay city (The last pride parade in MILK was filmed in the city I live in now). I feel like, at least around here, the only people that have a place in this community are cisgender LGB people and binary trans people and although I am attracted to lesbian women I don't really fit in that community and I never have. I am a mixed race person and I know exactly what it feels like to be marginalized from two groups that should claim you as their own but don't, and it's horrible.  I've really been experiencing some bad gender dysphoria over the last couple of days because I just changed my pro-nouns and so every time I see one of my family members or friends I have to explain it to them and while most of them know at least something about Transgender people they can't even wrap their heads around a gender spectrum let alone the fact that I lie somewhere within or outside of that spectrum.  I've been given a grammar lesson about 4 times (I've told about 6 people about my pro-nouns), I've been laughed at, I've been given other options even though I specifically said I would like to use they/them, and I haven't even told my mom yet. It's not that they're not accepting they're just really confused and so am I so I am patient but it's really getting exhausting having to explain, from the beginning, what non-binary is and how it relates to everything. I am getting to the point when people use she pronouns for me it makes me so uncomfortable and really increases my gender dysphoria and anxiety issues.  I honestly feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it.  Having to say M or F on the sign up form for this was even hard.  So basically I'm just looking for a community that understands and accepts who I am and can help me find myself because I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. 

Thanks for listening.
Em

[Maka]

Warm Welcome Em I believe here you will find all the support you need on your way to yourself. Ask your questions, share your thoughts, feelings, the happy ones, the sad ones, there will always be someone to help and share your moments with you

:hugs:

[Trinity]

Welcome to the forum.

Jayce can tell you how to fix that m and f binary forum thing.

There is a wealth of info here, look through the threads its everywhere.

I am Trinity, l am nonbinary full transition to sh'e.

Its amazing how rigid the binary is.  Im on a train right now and the hostile stares abound.

You are among friends here.

Trinity Satin Joy

[Maka]

Having to say M or F on the sign up form for this was even hard.

You could use this from the into section as a workaround

How to

Seems like you already found it.

[Elock]

I just told my mom that I changed my pronouns and then started to explain what that was and she was like "I already know I looked it up" and then continued to list off the things we need to do lol. She did the same thing when I came out as a Lesbian in high school. I told her and she said ok, what do you want for dinner. It's like we skip the entire awkward part and we're good. I can't tell you how amazing that just felt. And she's writing a letter about me and she was like, I really tried to use the they but I was confused but I tried and I'm pretty sure I screwed it up, and I was like it's totally ok. She's just the best.

[Elock]

Also thank you guys I really appreciate it I honestly feel better already

[Ativan Prescribed]

You really don't owe an explanation, but you should answer the questions when they ask.
It takes time for people to shift the gender thing in their head, if they are concerned, they will come back and then you can explain.
Once they get over the basics of it, people tend to have questions for people they know.
Give them time, it's a shift in perception they didn't see coming.
Most everyone has the same concerns and such when they figure it out for themselves, we all have gone through that.
Some people here have been doing this for years and years now, some here just got here, so there's a lot of info and questions to answer for everyone.
Read through the threads and such that look interesting, there is a search function, it'll take you to weird places, but that's all good too.
Lot's of things to read, lots of places to ask questions and plenty of people to answer them.
It takes patience to get to the answer sometimes, people log on a few times a week or so for the people who are here the most, some everyday.
But we're from around the world, so it can take half a day for some to catch up, and then a half a day again...
Welcome to the forum, dig in and ask questions, read old topics and threads, a lot of info that might answer your questions right off.

[Taka]

so you have this sort of amazing mom who knows you even better than you do, and is just waiting for you to be ready to tell the story yourself...? i'm sort of envious, i'll admit that.

explaining the same thing over and over again does get exhausting. it's time to learn that "because i like it better" is a sufficient answer to most whys.

grammar isn't up to others to teach you. tell folks that if shakespear could use singular they, then so can you. even the pronoun "you" is actually a plural that people made singular through using it thatfor way. so grammatically, i'm always talking to more than one person in english, even if we're only two in the room.

anyway, welcome to the forums!
we'll be your community if you'll have us.