What do you think your responsibility level is living trans?

[Deleted]

I always figured that because I was DES, because I was trans for any reason, and because of that being beyond my control, that I was somehow not responsible for the acting out, for the cost, both collateral and financial, as I began and continue to live transitioned.

Do you feel like you are responsible for your transition? Or that it just kind of happened to you and therefore you have no responsibility for the outcomes?

There is also a responsibility perhaps to our other brothers and sisters and others. But how we define ours is deeply personal, is it not?  And there is one for ourselves and our own needs.  And a tightrope to find and walk as we balance ours against those of others.

A thread about whether we are responsible for our actions, or just blame it on either hormones, birth, or anything else.

I avoided owning my own actions.  Did you?

[Ativan Prescribed]

In general, we are responsible for our actions.
But more importantly, is how we deal with those responsibilities, and the actions or reactions, is what matters.
Whether they can be blamed on something else or not.
The ability to lay blame elsewhere doesn't mean we aren't still responsible for whatever actions we have made from them.
The decisions we make, even if there isn't much of a choice, are still our conscious decisions that we make.
The best we can hope for is that we make the right decisions, but when we don't, the responsibility is still ours.
And those still come down to how we deal with them, as far as we feel responsible for our actions and how those actions affect others.
It is dependent on how far reaching our actions ripple out among others.
It's in our own best interests as well in others to be mindful of our responsibilities and the actions we take with them.
But nobody is perfect, and allowances can be made for that, but those are not a given, as much as they are earned.

[Deleted]

[Deleted]

I have changed since the original post.

To me, the responsibility is to help other transpeople to find themselves, free themselves, and stand up for ourselves.

While mitigating collateral damage without harming self or becoming hypocritical, using love of others as the motivator.

Blessings dear.

[Deleted]

Mar 14, 2015 9:34:43 GMT 8 Ativan Prescribed said:

In general, we are responsible for our actions.
But more importantly, is how we deal with those responsibilities, and the actions or reactions, is what matters.
Whether they can be blamed on something else or not.
The ability to lay blame elsewhere doesn't mean we aren't still responsible for whatever actions we have made from them.
The decisions we make, even if there isn't much of a choice, are still our conscious decisions that we make.
The best we can hope for is that we make the right decisions, but when we don't, the responsibility is still ours.
And those still come down to how we deal with them, as far as we feel responsible for our actions and how those actions affect others.
It is dependent on how far reaching our actions ripple out among others.
It's in our own best interests as well in others to be mindful of our responsibilities and the actions we take with them.
But nobody is perfect, and allowances can be made for that, but those are not a given, as much as they are earned.

I definitely agree with this. I am responsible for my own self. I have to take responsibility for my actions. OK so I have a hard time finding real jobs, always have. So I drove trucks and played music. They will never let someone that looks like me work in an office atmosphere. I own trucks and still play music. I can be who I want to be instead of being forced. So I will never climb a "company ladder" but I did take responsibility of being who I am. Well except for the four year guy fail in the military. Those four years just concreted that I was different.

But do we have a responsibility to other trans people? No just as they have no responsibility for me. But I can choose to try and help them. I can choose to be friends and relay some of my experiences in the hopes that it may help them in their own situation. I can choose to care. I can choose to love and accept everyone as my brothers and sisters. But I have no responsibility to do so. I choose to do so.

OK so I am a DES "son". Did that make me trans? Maybe, maybe not. They don't use it anymore and look how many younger trans members there are in our little community. Even without the DES I would probably still be trans.

But oh yeah. I am the master of my own destiny. What I decide is totally up to me. If I make a mistake then I will have to live with it. But it will be my mistake and no one else's fault. But I never tried to hide or avoid anything. As a matter of fact I incorporated more into my look and personality. So I am who I am. But I made myself who I am. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.  

[Deleted]

DES was and is a great way out for those of us exposed to explain why we are trans. Its also a great way to avoid making the point of "does that really matter, I am me".

So many ways to try to get through the twisted forest paths. What is around the corner.

Social responsibility. Shall we look the other way, or choose to make a difference?

There are many ways to make a difference, life is full of opportunities, feed someone, love someone, care about someone no matter their issues, make a difference some way, some how.

It was the essence of art, the essence of the theater, back in the day.

We lost much of it.

But as to trans.... I agree mindfullness is key. Or awareness.

And we should never have to make an excuse. But often, I fall back on medically based fact, I make an excuse, to show its ok to be me. Because at the root, the cis world does not approve of me, for being me. I am supposed to be their image of me, not my truth and my core. But that is no longer acceptable to me in any way. We suffered enough. We were reprogrammed and molded enough. Forced into a male or female fantasy world others cannot escape, but we could escape.

pthah to that, forced gender, forced feelings.

Blessings my dear ones.

[Deleted]

Apr 3, 2015 2:09:52 GMT 8 Trinity said:

DES was and is a great way out for those of us exposed to explain why we are trans. Its also a great way to avoid making the point of "does that really matter, I am me".

So many ways to try to get through the twisted forest paths. What is around the corner.

Social responsibility. Shall we look the other way, or choose to make a difference?

There are many ways to make a difference, life is full of opportunities, feed someone, love someone, care about someone no matter their issues, make a difference some way, some how.

It was the essence of art, the essence of the theater, back in the day.

We lost much of it.

But as to trans.... I agree mindfullness is key. Or awareness.

And we should never have to make an excuse. But often, I fall back on medically based fact, I make an excuse, to show its ok to be me. Because at the root, the cis world does not approve of me, for being me. I am supposed to be their image of me, not my truth and my core. But that is no longer acceptable to me in any way. We suffered enough. We were reprogrammed and molded enough. Forced into a male or female fantasy world others cannot escape, but we could escape.

pthah to that, forced gender, forced feelings.

Blessings my dear ones.

Well hon, I am me. No apologies and no excuse. Ever.

That is my whole point. Medically based facts? "Facts" can often be manipulated to the "flavor of the day". If that is what you need hon, then by all means. There may be something to it and probably is because it is one of those hush hush things. But without DES I may have been a miscarriage. Or I may have been stillborn. Hell, either way I wouldn't care but is that the only thing that made me trans? I wish and maybe so.

The cis world? Is there a cis world? There is the world and there is society. Society follows whatever is popular at the time and we are coming into the spot light. But I don't need or ever want society to define me. I don't need society to tell me that it is OK to be who I am. I have always told society to Fuck Off and went on my own way. I could care less about little white picket fences and living in the suburbs with a 6 figure a year income and a wife or husband and 2 1/2 kids. BTW I never really figured our what 1/2 a child was. Almost sounds like something out of a horror movie. Top half? Bottom half? Left half or right half? UGHH. But that is society for you. Why I always gave it the big FO and did my own thing.

Trinity. Never let anyone force you to be who or what you truly are. They have to deal with their own discrimination and hate. Not to mention their own narrow mindedness. We on the other hand. If we let them dictate who and what we are then it will do nothing but hurt us.

[Deleted]

Yup. I totally agree.

But the medical stuff has its advantages. I'd be divorced without that leverage, that truth.

Listen, we have it tough enough so whatever can be used to our advantage to help soften the blow or thaw the icebergs of hate, whatever, lets go with it. Until socially we finally are freed, when they realize we are real people. Not what they paint us to be. who we are.

[Deleted]

Apr 3, 2015 4:01:52 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Yup. I totally agree.

But the medical stuff has its advantages. I'd be divorced without that leverage, that truth.

Listen, we have it tough enough so whatever can be used to our advantage to help soften the blow or thaw the icebergs of hate, whatever, lets go with it. Until socially we finally are freed, when they realize we are real people. Not what they paint us to be. who we are.

Not me. I got divorced anyway. Screw it because I am happier now. She held me back big time. Without her I am unleashed and doing pretty good. She was more of a man than me and way too freaking controlling for my taste.  "No, I don't want you to buy anymore trucks. No I don't want you to spend 3,000 on a new amp." "No I don't want you playing music late on the weekends." "Why do you have to practice so much and not spend time with me?" :rolleyes:Right now I am making 4 times more per year than I ever did married to her. I could have even sued her for Alimony because she had a better job than me. Now I make 2x more than her and have no bosses and she still has to kiss ass. Poetic Justice? Maybe.  Sometimes those so called turds are actually sweet Baby Ruths. (Uh you know a Baby Ruth in a public swimming pool from the "old days").

[Patty]

This is the way I have always lived being Male or Female makes no difference or even what caused it.I have always taken complete ownership and responsibility for who I am, what I am, and what I do in life. Simple, but I don't like to complicate things that I don't see as complicated. Patty