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Post by Deleted on Mar 11, 2015 17:56:13 GMT 8
All I know is to hold her, be with her, listen to her.
Physical contact, spiritual words.
They sound a little hollow.
I had started to sleep and heard sobbing in my ear. There was nothing I could do, just hold her, for hours.
Makes you feel helpless.
I want to strike back, and hard. I won't. Not physically.
What process will she face, the harm is great.
How do we help those who have been unjustly hurt by others.
For us all, this thread.
Suggestions to help the casualties of hate, or of collateral damage.
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Ayla
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Post by Ayla on Mar 11, 2015 20:26:32 GMT 8
You are doing fine. Being there for them. Being present and fully available does help. Listening rather than seeking to solve or to understand. Unconditional love really does help provide them with evidence that not all is bad, that there is much to appreciate and to love, even at this worst of times. Helping them see that the damage is a result of another's pain and damage rather than something that they attracted or deserved may also make a difference.
At some point finding more expert help or counsel may be necessary. Often those hurt have so much pain that it overwhelms and they simply can't find a way forward, lose hope and are drowned in depression etc. there is a way forward, life will improve and perhaps the greatest gifts that you can hope that they gain from their hurt and pain are resilience and love/forgiveness.
I wish that I could hold you both. It will get better. It always does.
Safe travels
Aisla
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Post by Laura J on Mar 11, 2015 20:53:41 GMT 8
Just listening, and being there is all. Maybe going out of your way to remove other stresses they may feel at the same time, like chores, being around others that might cause anxiety, and try and replace those things with others you know will make them more comfortable. Time is the big healer of emotional wounds, and slowing time to heal without pushing seems best.
Talking about it may only open the wounds more, and for me after being hurt was not helpful.
Just love, care and time, a remedy for many kinds of pain and scars.
Yeah, I wish I could hug you both too, you know I give good hugs.! Blessings to you both.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2015 0:50:26 GMT 8
It's supposed to be a generic thread, not about me.
But I will say it's a time being Nonbinary helps. I just got off the phone with the union rep.. Not the shop steward.
The contract negotiator, the county rep, the one with the law degree.
So wife gets male strength and female nurturing and holding.
It's what she wants. She needed me to face the bad guys.
But this is supposed to be about our brother and sister and other trans.
How to heal us all.
Trinity
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