'American Male' Short Film | MTV

[EchelonHunt]

Are you a person or a set of social cues?

“In order to survive, a chameleon will change color to blend in with its surroundings.

At a young age, I began to closely observe the people around me, the way they talked, the way they walked, what they said, where it got them.

Now I am no longer a person, but a set of social cues.

Not a person, but a path of least resistance."

Ever felt pressure to “be a man?” American Male, a short film from MTV’s Look Different Creator Competition, is a gritty look at how gender norms make it hard for us to be who we really are.

[Ativan Prescribed]

“In order to survive, a chameleon will change color to blend in with its surroundings.
At a young age, I began to closely observe the people around me, the way they talked, the way they walked, what they said, where it got them.
Now I am no longer a person, but a set of social cues.
Not a person, but a path of least resistance."

This is exactly how it works, I can remember even discussing with friends how to be a man when we were just boys.
You watch, learn, practice the moves all your life, at least until you have your own set of cues to work from.
Even then, you notice others cues and adapt them to fit yours, adapt yours to fit them, it's all the same.

But when you know deep down that it just isn't true, you also pick up on other gender cues, and maybe try them to see if they fit.
It's wondrous when you find they do, a disappointment when you know you can't use them around others with the cues you grew up with.
But you know them and see them at times with the gender you portray, you see them in others but stay silent, because you know, you  have them too.
You just practice around others to be more of the cues they all use, they become automatic, feel natural so long as you get the approval from them.

This separation, so much is the same yet there is the line that many cross over, but you use very subtle cues and moves to retain the gender you portray.
You can cross the line, you can be just like the other, but it is only for a fleeting second, and only to let them know that you can be that way as well.

In times of self, without the friends, the usual's, you can be someone other than who you think they expect you to be, you know they do this as well.
You realize that everyone does this to one degree or another, you wonder what that degree is, you start to see and perceive that it is just social cues.
It's a silent set of rules and it's like a game that everyone plays, this separation of self from others, just to be a part of some of them, just to be...
This is the social constructs and they apply equally to everyone, regardless. There are cues and constructs that all trans use to varying degrees...

It takes a lot of introverted thinking and self realization to find those constructs and to tear them down and find the true self.
It is a very difficult thing to do, to find yourself under a lifetime of cues and constructs, to get away from what you think of as others approvals.
It can be done, it feels genderless and at the same time like you have your own gender and you realize that everyone does as well.
It's a certain kind of sadness yet relief that you know this is true and that you can see those cues and constructs clearly, the falseness of societies rules of gender.

The world looks different, strange yet oh so familiar at the same time, your mind awakens to the possibilities that you can simply be self and ignore the rule book.
You have nothing to prove to others, you can just be self and have all of it, all of the emotions and feelings, it's a kind of freedom that you just can't get any other way.
You have to see it all and ignore it at the same time, so you can let others just be without reinforcing those rules like you always have, like they always have.

This is the freedom of learning who you are, to understand that gender is a social construct, that you are all of it and none of it, you just are.

[Trinity]

Wow.

[Trinity]

Incidentally there are a lot of trans acting notices up. I got invited into the trans actors guild, which is really cool, there are 175 of us, many are union (i am in actors equity).  So i see the casting calls.

But i see the wave. Its here.

[Deleted]

OK I just have a little question. What is wrong with being male or female? No matter what you were born as. Or what is wrong with being a combination of both? These are legitimate questions that may give you some answers to your own self.

So is he actually man and the shot he gives himself is Steroids or T? Is he gay because if so he may want a trans cougar. I raise my hand.

I saw pics but non that was without a doubt who he was when young. I will watch again though.

So there is nothing wrong with male or female or being man or woman and there is nothing wrong with being lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, gender queer, non-binary or anything else? Just another piece of the puzzle of humanity.

OK so this after a second look seems a little sexists. men like and women like and so on. Well I do like some pop but I love Rock. I like beer but I love wine too. I do agree that I suck at math, mechanics and home repair and why I really need a man again, LOL. Plus I miss "something special" that toys can't duplicate.

Idid here him calling the poor guy "faggot" at the end but he is the homosexual with the other guy it seems when they were dancing with the girl. OMG I wish I could have been that girl between two guys. They could be as gay as they wanted with me. Just give me mine too.

Yeah it is kind of sad after second look but being gay now isn't as taboo as it used to be. So really MTV needed to focus more on trans issues instead of gay issues. I mean really the term faggot is a hate term now. Especially in a politically correct environment as a university. Seems like MTV is behind the times.

But good video though.

[EchelonHunt]

It's not about gay issues or trans issues. It's about norms in society and how you are treated if you step outside these norms.

People are strange creatures, we seek validation and approval from others. We want to fit in and I think this film is attempting to ask: how far will one go to fit in? Will you give up your entire self to fit in, even if you may risk feeling alone in a crowded room? Risk snapping in a violent rage because everything up till that point has taught you to be an insecure being with a fragile sense of masculinity that easily becomes asserted with aggression?

It's not saying that traditional values of gender roles should be thrown aside. There's nothing wrong with being female or male, there's nothing wrong with being masculine, femme or in-between.

Example given: A masculine guy who is genuinely passionate about sports, there's nothing wrong with that. A masculine guy who pretends to like sports to fit in with peers, drinks beer even though he hates the taste of it, eats a greasy cheeseburger instead of a salad, there's all kinds of wrong with that.

What's wrong is adopting values you don't personally believe in, for the sake of approval and validation from others. When in reality, you should just be like, "Fuck what other people think. I don't need other people's approvals or validation, I'll do what makes ME happy."

When the guy leaves the front yard, going through the side alley to the backyard, he drops the facade, the mask before throwing up the mask as he enters the backyard. The brief moment his mask being down is so sobering.

Everyone has a mask they present when they are in public eye, from the depressed person who acts happy in the presence of others, to the transgender person who cannot live as their true self yet, acting as their assigned at birth role, to the gay person who pretends to be straight because he/she knows that eventually everyone ends up getting married, having kids because they want to please their family, their parents want grandchildren, they don't wish to shame their family by adopting a gay lifestyle.

Sure, transpeople and gay folks can relate to having a mask more than most, with living a life of fear, discrimination and perhaps being forced to hide themselves.

But I really believe this is a human issue that everyone struggles with - cis, straight, gay, lesbian, trans, non-binary, genderqueer, so on.

This film is critical in opening up discussion that are desperately needed right now, in a society where people are driven by whether their existence is approved or not

The amount of likes on Facebook to measure their self-worth, young adults running to ISIS to fit in, feel accepted as one of the brothers, the mother who wants her concerns validated, the patient who wants their doctor to listen to them instead of writing their problems off as nothing to worry about.

The desperate need for approval and validation is everywhere if one looks hard enough.

Even you, Jamie. Looking for love and you'll offer yourself up to being between two gay men. Even though a gay man, in all likelihood in this masc4masc growing trend, desires a masculine man, not a feminine transwoman.

Look for love, approval and validation in people who share the same values as you (love the person for their personality, not their body), not in places where it will be impossible to find (E.g. masc gay men who desire masc men).

[Cypres]

I find it highly interessting that this short film was the winner of a call for movies about privilege. So it was supposed to represent how white male privilege hurts white men.

But then again, I felt like there should have been a focus on who else it hurts, this seemed very white male centered, like they are the are the "real vicitims" especially cause all the things he said like men do this and women do this, always made it sound like women had more options or at least an equality of choices, just different ones. Which is not the first time that this happens, it appears to be a common trope of white masculinity documentaries, to create a pictures that leaves one with the feeling that women have way more options. Which if we look into the world is just plain FALSE.

About the "humans need approval", well we are social creatures, thus this is an very deep need. This talk of "just give a shit about what other people think", is neoliberal individualism and unhelpfull, cause if you are oppressed you can't give a shit, you can only not give a shit the more privileged you are, like the guy in the movie, all is centered around other white heterosexual people ... the movie gives a literaly a shit about non-white people, women, lesbians, trans, and people with diabilities, ...
For instance how does this woman feel who gets sandwiched by these 2 huge guys, that could be a very terifying situation at a party ...

For instance studies show, that the wealthier you are the less trusting you behave, because you are more autonomous, i.e. you need to be less connected to others and can only see them as a treat to what you have ... that is what privilege does, yes it isolates you precisely because of that, instead of charing your wealth you become a bigot, and that is the choice you have. Like the guy in the movie, who precisely because of his privilege could deceide to no longer orient himself on other white men but try to contact whith other people ... but that takes guts, because than you can't look down anymore ...

So in short: YES there is something very wrong with this identity.

[Luyas]

Sept 24, 2016 16:47:08 GMT 8 EchelonHunt said:

Are you a person or a set of social cues?

“In order to survive, a chameleon will change color to blend in with its surroundings.

At a young age, I began to closely observe the people around me, the way they talked, the way they walked, what they said, where it got them.

Now I am no longer a person, but a set of social cues.

Not a person, but a path of least resistance."

Ever felt pressure to “be a man?” American Male, a short film from MTV’s Look Different Creator Competition, is a gritty look at how gender norms make it hard for us to be who we really are.

omg that was really fricken emotional. jeez people have said some of those things to me "men do ___ women__" and it all was socially and now I see around me people are changing and becoming these beautiful label-free people but some arnot its like when you put dye in a cup of oil some of it will turn that color some will stay the same its kinda sad actually but to be positive we have to move on from negatives which is one of my main focus's right now