Nonbinary and Transsexual

[Trinity]

I was tempted to put in a trigger warning.  The board is very nonbinary, I am very fluid, yet very much a no op transsexual physically.  Mentally and in social presentation its a whole different deal.  I am extremely fluid socially. 
I get uncomfortable talking about the ts component of me.  It is a large part of self.  Yesterday I was trying to control that part, the result was extreme dysphoria. So I let my hair down last night and I must say I needed it.

My perception of being nonbinary is in how I live.  How my mind works.  Not how my body works.  My gender - the whole deal - is totally not part of the ts narrative.  It probably would be if many ts were more honest about who they really are.  But I guess some really are inverted gender through and through, the classic man in womans body or woman in mans.  I am not.  I am another gender, its a transsexual gender, but its also nonbinary right down to the core.

I enjoy the male androgyne part of who I am, and I like it a lot.  I live it out socially.  I just as thoroughly enjoy the female androgyne part of me and live that out too.

Its a strange place to be.  

All I know is I pay a price if I lose sight of my core, of who I am.  And need to accept all of me, sh'e, he, they, I, you, nonbinary, transsexual, addict, fairy, husband, father, son, friend, breadwinner, artist.  And live outside the matrix of the binary gender.

So yeah.  Jamie has me thinking.  I bet she is a lot like me... 

Thoughts about being TS androgyne, nonbinary, out of the narratives.  Please.  I need the grounding dysphoria has been increasing lately, could be for any reason, who knows.

I really don't fit any box, its funny, nothing works at all.

Anyone else feel like me?

[EchelonHunt]

I am similar to transmen in that I aim to reach their physical/sexual ideal of having a male body reconnected with its sexuality and libido. What I am not similar to them in that I don't want to look like a regular guy, nor do I think of myself as a man in terms of gender identity.

I am similar to transwomen in that I wish to have a feminine voice, look and dress feminine (but not hyper feminine... I don't want to look like an American girl with big titties, I'd prefer looking more like a Japanese girl, with flat chest and cute curves in all the right places) What I'm not similar to them is that I don't want to have a female body (characteristics, yes, body, no.) and don't enjoy having female genitalia on myself.

I used to think of myself as a classic case of man in woman's body but not anymore. My gender is for the most part, fluid, my presentations are fluid and my sexuality is fluid. I've kind of stopped trying to put a label on it because it changes depending on how I feel.

Maybe just don't stress over the labels? Just be yourself and be free!

[Deleted]

Jun 3, 2016 18:33:46 GMT 8 Trinity said:

I was tempted to put in a trigger warning.  The board is very nonbinary, I am very fluid, yet very much a no op transsexual physically.  Mentally and in social presentation its a whole different deal.  I am extremely fluid socially. 
I get uncomfortable talking about the ts component of me.  It is a large part of self.  Yesterday I was trying to control that part, the result was extreme dysphoria. So I let my hair down last night and I must say I needed it.

My perception of being nonbinary is in how I live.  How my mind works.  Not how my body works.  My gender - the whole deal - is totally not part of the ts narrative.  It probably would be if many ts were more honest about who they really are.  But I guess some really are inverted gender through and through, the classic man in womans body or woman in mans.  I am not.  I am another gender, its a transsexual gender, but its also nonbinary right down to the core.

I enjoy the male androgyne part of who I am, and I like it a lot.  I live it out socially.  I just as thoroughly enjoy the female androgyne part of me and live that out too.

Its a strange place to be.  

All I know is I pay a price if I lose sight of my core, of who I am.  And need to accept all of me, sh'e, he, they, I, you, nonbinary, transsexual, addict, fairy, husband, father, son, friend, breadwinner, artist.  And live outside the matrix of the binary gender.

So yeah.  Jamie has me thinking.  I bet she is a lot like me... 

Thoughts about being TS androgyne, nonbinary, out of the narratives.  Please.  I need the grounding dysphoria has been increasing lately, could be for any reason, who knows.

I really don't fit any box, its funny, nothing works at all.

Anyone else feel like me?

Yeah hon we are a lot alike or at least used to be. Fortunately I don't have kids so that father label never came up mentally. The breadwinner. It is 2016 and women can provide as much money as men can and in some cases more even. I'm not a husband anymore even. I make more money than my current Beau right now but would never tell him that. He is gay but extremely masculine and a lover of transwomen or extremely feminine gays but more transwoman. Pre op because he likes what he likes. He treats me extremely femme and I love it. We'll have to see how far it goes though. Whatever happens, happens.

"And need to accept all of me." I took the liberty of quoting you and adding a period instead of a comma and then foregoing the other labels. You need to be you and everything that you are without breaking down each individual little role. I counted 15 different labels and that isn't a box but rather one hell of a polygon with multiple cells any of which you could get trapped in. If you can accept being you then you can be all those things without ever even thinking of them. They will just be a part of you.

Yes I have felt like you many times. Until I just concentrated on being me and all aspects but most importantly just me. But just remember that the human mind changes due to experiences, inputs, social acceptance, self image and many more variables. This is why I am moving more femme. Age also has quite a bit to do with it. Less T as you get older but I never really had that much to work with anyway. Maybe one reason why I never fathered children.

But yeah. I am way outside the box. Even turning more femme, I am still way outside the box. I will never fit any stereotypes other than half assed insane.  But like I always say, a box is nothing more than a prison cell more or less. Who the hell wants to be in a box anyway? Do your own thing and be your own person hon. It may sound selfish but the less you depend on others for your own happines and more upon making your ownself happy, the happier you will become. But you can always lean on me though. But no one can make you happy because that has to come from within yourself. Ancient philosophical beliefs.