inherit
99
0
Jul 24, 2015 4:03:56 GMT 8
351
Mingma
Prefer she/her am fine with they, not so hip on he.
391
Jun 20, 2015 1:16:10 GMT 8
June 2015
minga
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Post by Mingma on Mar 2, 2016 0:02:35 GMT 8
A dead hot rod! Call the medics!
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inherit
150
0
Apr 10, 2016 22:45:47 GMT 8
635
Shan
1,959
Feb 4, 2016 3:52:26 GMT 8
February 2016
shan
Non-Binary
Any as long as it's polite
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Post by Shan on Mar 2, 2016 1:26:06 GMT 8
Trinity, so sad that you and the loved ones are suffering such indignities at the hands of extended family members, but since we're good friends here let me assure you that you are in good company as both of my sons have turned into hateful shits towards us and none of it has anything to do with my trans stuff. Consider too how your own savior was continually rejected, it started when He said, "A prophet is not a prophet in his own home town." Not long after that everyone who wanted to crown Him King were screaming for his crucifixion and death. No my friend, you are in good company my dear, consider it all a test to see how gracefully you will deal with it. You can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends and I dare say that you have friends who care for you here. My prayers are for you hon!
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inherit
131
0
1
May 16, 2024 7:57:51 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Mar 17, 2016 19:01:48 GMT 8
Need to go on retreat a bit.
Codependency both mine, my loved ones, and my now cut off family, together with giving too much, too much stress, and what i feel is being betrayed by the legalistic church, has taken me into a very poor spiritual state.
By others using the Bible to hurt trans, i dont want to read it, they undermined my faith.
So im not going to complain but i have to fix this right now.
Its ruining who i am. Literally poisoning my mind.
I hope its just the dark before dawn.
And im tracking my emotions through the estrogen cycle. I want to know exactly hoe my shots arecaffecting me and others. But im not ready to stop the shots.
So to Jesus I will go. The rage must go, the bitterness and depression must go. Its not His will to be emotionally sick.
Oh the foolishness of ignorant tongues and hands.
I want my God back.
Gunna be a bit quiet unless i see someone needing help.
Trinity
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inherit
131
0
1
May 16, 2024 7:57:51 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Mar 21, 2016 20:45:20 GMT 8
I am going into a period of self examination and will not be very active for a little while.
I need to deal with some personal stuff.
trinity
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inherit
150
0
Apr 10, 2016 22:45:47 GMT 8
635
Shan
1,959
Feb 4, 2016 3:52:26 GMT 8
February 2016
shan
Non-Binary
Any as long as it's polite
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Post by Shan on Mar 22, 2016 0:52:05 GMT 8
I am going into a period of self examination and will not be very active for a little while. I need to deal with some personal stuff. trinity
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inherit
131
0
1
May 16, 2024 7:57:51 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Mar 30, 2016 17:44:22 GMT 8
Refocussing.
Remembering who I am.
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inherit
131
0
1
May 16, 2024 7:57:51 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Apr 2, 2016 22:45:31 GMT 8
Its getting a little better.
Now if I could just heal enough to enjoy mainstream sermons again.
I am wounded to the core by some folk of the church, but yet, still the fire burns.
I need my Jesus. I feel my strength is way off, I think time spent in the Bible in the 4 gospels specifically will help, and time spent listening to music will help too. When Lee was here we were trading Christian songs, it was so uplifting. And songs on gender. I very deeply miss that, and miss Lee, but I am sure they are doing great, it is a wonderful story of redemption, healing, finding their gender, and going on their way to fulfill their mission in life. And they did change mine, for the better.
We all write our stories in the hearts of those around us, who are in our lives. You never know the depth of the writing you do, nor the way it will touch another soul. It can be the difference of life and death, of spiritual life and death too, it can be that you are the only light that someone will see, and that light my dear ones, that light, is in your eyes, coming deep from within.
And deep within your core, you are in communion with your God, in one mind and Spirit, and when you live wired in, mind and soul and spirit and core, right to the source of the living God, then miracles happen. Miracles of the heart, real miracles of lifechanging value. Those are the ones we seek. Those are the ones that really matter. Its not a show to bring money into a machine.
Its raw Christ and He is raw indeed, look at who He faced down, look at what He did, look at who He loved, and who He was mad at. He never minced words, He is very direct, He simply states the truth, and we have to deal with it.
And the truth is He loves us. Sift out the hate and the pain and the wild sex from it, and we are just another person on the planet, a person who is transgender, and there is no issue for this, it is simply who we are. As we were made to live with, and with its own special difficulties to overcome spiritually, the sex, the anger, the oppression, the pain.
Not unlike Mary who found Him first when He came out of that tomb. Mary, the prostitute who loved Him, who poured out perfume on His feet and wiped His feet with Her hair, in unabashed love in front of all those religious people in thier rigid beliefs, and He shocked those people to their core with His love for her.
Who was closest to Him? She stopped the sex, yes, she became pure, because of Him. She faced hate, she faced the people of her day, the ones who would spit on her, stone her. She faced it all. Not much is said after that about her, but rest assured, we are close like she was close, and I took money for sex too, long ago, when I was desperate and hungry, I am no different from her.
I need refreshment. I need the noise to go away, and to lean into Jesus sweet arms, and let Him love me, and withdraw the poison from my spirit and my soul. Poison that is not of Him. Poison that is agony to God's will.
If you read this, and you are questioning if those of us who are trans are accepted by Christ, know this. I would be dead many times over except for the direct intervention of Christ, I have seen Him, He is mine, and He is yours. Let us share Him together, and put aside this insanity that separates us, let us work together, and love the people who are suffering back to life. Feed us, dont hate us, dont try to change us, love us instead as we are, and maybe we can overcome our fear and our deep wounds, and learn to love you back too. For you have sinned a greivous sin against us, and it is hard to forgive you for the agony you have caused and the lives you have destroyed and sent to suicide and drugs and prostitution. Yes it is you that sent us there, but we forgive you, we love you, for we are His, we are the hearts of trans, and the true heart of Jesus, and He love us both.
Let go of your hate, reject that poison, and write love into our lives.
Trinity Satin Joy.
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inherit
131
0
1
May 16, 2024 7:57:51 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Apr 20, 2016 17:32:35 GMT 8
Looking for God's leading. And getting it. More on center, and seeing what He is doing, where He is taking me, my wife, the next steps. Lot of things happened fast, things I did not see coming. My spiritual eyes were closing, and I could not see clearly, it was becoming a matter of the head and not the Spirit.
Now, I can see ahead again, in my spirit, and I can hear what the Spirit has for us to do.
It feels good, it will help, it will heal the hurts. It is good to be open again, so I can know what I am to do.
Trinity
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inherit
131
0
1
May 16, 2024 7:57:51 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on May 1, 2016 23:36:21 GMT 8
Trigger warning
I needed so badly to be strengthened in church this morning and they condemned trans and those who support us.
It is the ultimate betrayal for me, and suicidality has returned.
I wont, but when they do this, i want to cut my wrists.
It is killing me slowly. It has for years. It is tearing me apart and i cant take it any more.
But...I belong with Jesus. All they do is break His precious heart. If mine hurts so much, His must all the more.
Love to all here. Pray.
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inherit
131
0
1
May 16, 2024 7:57:51 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on May 12, 2016 8:00:05 GMT 8
Bouncing back slowly. Each time condemnation of trans is spoken from the pulpit i get weaker. I see auras, thats not sin its biblical. Look at the old paintings the auras are there.
I have rust red all through it. Deep rust red. It used to be blue and gold. Thats there too still...
Rust red is a very bad color. Its associated with deep anger.
Trying to fight back but i feel weakened. I should stop complaining, stop being angry at ignorance thatvkills, and start praying.
Trinity
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inherit
131
0
1
May 16, 2024 7:57:51 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on May 19, 2016 21:32:50 GMT 8
Praying again, reconnecting with God. I've seen a lot the last few weeks, and its got me into a better place in my spirit, a place I badly need.
☺
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inherit
131
0
1
May 16, 2024 7:57:51 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on May 31, 2016 10:01:15 GMT 8
Once again, one of the preachers i liked makes a viscious attack on transgender and makes a mockery of who we are.
So, one I trusted calls me an abomination.
This world is cursed. How can I follow it when I continue to bury those I love?
Ignorance has overthrown my church. I can no longer listen to a sermon.
Jesus, I need you, for your servants are killing my friends.
End it Lord. They cry out in hate, their rage is death. How, when I served you sll these years, when we trusted you, could you deliver us into the hands of pharasitical men?
Blow after blow we are given, they bar us from heaven, men and their hearts seek to cast us from yours.
Death and darkness are taking us, a genocide of suicide, fueled by hate.
They must not do this Lord. They must not crush our faith, our hearts, and our spirits.
Expose their hearts Lord. But they are blind, they have no ears, they see only rules, and hate and greed and busieness has destroyed your church.
Where are the hearts of Christ? Where are the warriors of Love?
Let the love warriors be strengthened God. Let those with hearts that see, prevail.
But you Lord have lost me from your church.
But never from You.
Trinity
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inherit
131
0
1
May 16, 2024 7:57:51 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Jun 3, 2016 18:54:57 GMT 8
In the wake of the onslaught of yrans oppression by the church, in the wake of being demonized for my genetics, in the wake of hostile church driven policies that result in the desth of my friends and loved ones, I have decided to have as little interaction with the chirches as possible. Because the church is driving me away from my Jesus. Yet visions of wonderful people come to mind. I am bitter, I am filled with grief, and I am betrayed. And betrayal is a big thing for me. Yet Jesus walks beside me, carries me, has a plan and mission for me, for us. We have to outlast the dark. It is the same dark He faced, when polititions and moneychangers took over His temple. His home... Nothing has changed. Nor has the heart of the Christ. These people who are cis going into bathrooms to slur trans and to destroy us, they are not of Christ. Only the devil does such madness. Their bigotry and hate has destroyed them. They may hear the chillong words "depart from Me, I do not know you" in the end. Walk with me Lord, as we try to save lives together.
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inherit
131
0
1
May 16, 2024 7:57:51 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Jun 15, 2016 18:45:56 GMT 8
Watching the church divide and harden as the conservative legalists applaud the bombing of the lgbt and as the church preaching new tes5ament grace reacts in horror.
I have left the church and am focussing on the four gospels more. Jesus eaid you do not pour new wine into old wineskins. That the law of love would be written in the heart.
The church I see is no longer Christian.
I follow the true Jesus. And I am very trans.
God bless all here.
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inherit
131
0
1
May 16, 2024 7:57:51 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Jun 19, 2016 23:31:12 GMT 8
As the recent rhetoric increases, as a number of mainstream baptist churches celebrate the carnage in Orlando, as my friends are confronted on the street and called abominations, and as the church has barred me from heaven, grieving my God, I find myself unable to listen to another sermon. The hijacking of my faith by cis men and women enforcing legalism they know nothing about, the calling by the Dobsons to shoot any trans in a restroom conforming to their gender, this after 55 years of trying not to be trans because these people told me I couldnt be.
No I do not forgive you. Christ can, but I cannot. You have destroyed my faith, ruined my life, and celebrate cruelty as you keep on hurting me and all like me over and over again in your hate.
You took a religion of love and you made it into a religion of pride and hate.
I despise you. Fatten yourselves, for the Lord will meet you one day, and I will be there with Him.
You better pray I forgive you for torturing children and defenseless people. You better pray real hard, and turn from your evil, and help us.
I am done with you and your church. I follow Jesus and Him alone.
You dont even know who He is.
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