Hello from a cis friend!

[TheQ]

Hello!

I am a 24 year-old, cis gendered Lesbian woman from the UK. Although I personally identify within my birth gender I definitely identify with aspects of gender fluidity and I am a fervent supporter of trans rights!

I'm here to support, to learn and occasionally perhaps ask questions. I have one extremely close trans friend and many acquaintances, but the nuances of gender identity and fluidity may occasionally go over my head. For that I apologise. Learning and making friends is why I am here!

I run a blog on human sexuality, interaction and Identity and it's incredibly important to me that non-binary and trans voices from across the spectrum are heard and respected! It's early days yet but we have already posted an article sharing one woman's story of coming to terms with her true gender identity and the world of online dating.

If anyone is interested in reading my friends touching story, it can be found here: www.wearetheq.wordpress.com 

Predominantly I am here to make friends, but if there are any writers on here, or anyone wanting to share their story, I would absolutely LOVE to hear from you.

I can't wait to meet you all. I hope to make many new friends,

Q x

[Taka]

welcome! (again)

that's an interesting project you're running.
real stories about sexuality may be needed in a world full of hate and lies in the form of porn...

not sure my own story is interesting enough, and i'm definitely not sure i want to tell more than bits and pieces at a time.
but, well, you'll be able to read quite a lot of stories on here.
about people who get somewhat creative in the way they balance living, living together, and making a living.

the individual answers are always a lot more interesting than whatever diagnoses you could put on things to make sense for binary oriented people.

[Julie B]

Welcome,

Project Q is really pretty wonderful.  Congratulations!  I think that most people who are comfortable with their birth gender, still fluctuate along the gender identity spectrum from time to time.  If I had been born with a vagina I would doubtless have wandered between butch and femme, lesbian and straight, male expression and female expression.  That I was not meant dysphoria and much too much time trying to be something I could never be.  I very much look forward to exploring your work and sharing ideas.

Best,
Julie

[Shan]

I had wondered about the name, now it all makes sense. Welcome once again!

[TheQ]

Mar 31, 2016 20:13:09 GMT 8 Taka said:

welcome! (again)

that's an interesting project you're running.
real stories about sexuality may be needed in a world full of hate and lies in the form of porn...

not sure my own story is interesting enough, and i'm definitely not sure i want to tell more than bits and pieces at a time.
but, well, you'll be able to read quite a lot of stories on here.
about people who get somewhat creative in the way they balance living, living together, and making a living.

the individual answers are always a lot more interesting than whatever diagnoses you could put on things to make sense for binary oriented people.

I certainly believe EVERY story is worthy and interesting! But I am by no means here to pressure anyone into sharing what they are not comfortable. This seems like such a supportive community of people I can't wait to get to know everyone

I totally agree that individual stories are more real and relate-able than anything dreamt up to keep people in boxes. Isn't it funny how labels can be so useful yet so difficult at the same time?

x

[TheQ]

Mar 31, 2016 22:25:26 GMT 8 Julie B said:

Welcome,

Project Q is really pretty wonderful.  Congratulations!  I think that most people who are comfortable with their birth gender, still fluctuate along the gender identity spectrum from time to time.  If I had been born with a vagina I would doubtless have wandered between butch and femme, lesbian and straight, male expression and female expression.  That I was not meant dysphoria and much too much time trying to be something I could never be.  I very much look forward to exploring your work and sharing ideas.

Best,
Julie

Thankyou Julie! 

I totally agree, we can all fluctuate along different spectrums as we continue our journey. It's just easier for straight, cis individuals to forget to think about it! I myself cannot truly fathom what it must be like to feel unease within your body and your gender.
I do however remember years ago thinking how much easier it would be to be straight. To not have to question, not have to wonder...not have to worry! And yet now I look back I could not be happier to be the gay-as-hell girl I am today. Isn't it interesting how infinite in possibilities our journeys are! And how through all the troubles we can find such acceptance within our LGBT+ communities!

Lovely to meet you Julie x

[TheQ]

Mar 31, 2016 22:49:25 GMT 8 Shan said:

I had wondered about the name, now it all makes sense. Welcome once again!

Couldn't be happier to be here! x

[Julie B]

Apr 1, 2016 6:22:35 GMT 8 TheQ said:

I totally agree that individual stories are more real and relate-able than anything dreamt up to keep people in boxes. Isn't it funny how labels can be so useful yet so difficult at the same time?

x

Be careful what you ask for, some of us (meaning me) are frighteningly verbose. 

Julie

[Ember]

Mar 30, 2016 21:04:44 GMT 8 TheQ said:

I run a blog on human sexuality, interaction and Identity and it's incredibly important to me that non-binary and trans voices from across the spectrum are heard and respected! It's early days yet but we have already posted an article sharing one woman's story of coming to terms with her true gender identity and the world of online dating.

Howdy, TheQ. 

Please forgive me for asking, but what exactly makes this incredibly important to you? I'm sorry if that's an aggressive question, but in the spirit of getting to know you I feel compelled to ask. Similarly, What exactly do you mean when you say you'd love to hear from people looking to share their story? Do you mean share privately or are you looking to publish more stories? I've just glanced at your friend's story on Project Q and I found it well written and respectful... Also crushingly similar to my own experience, even if I don't (presently) feel any desire to physically transition. 

Welcome here. I'm looking forward to getting to know you as well. Please forgive my mild paranoia, I'm going through a period of extreme vulnerability right now and old fears die hard. I'm sure we can become fast friends. 

[TheQ]

Apr 4, 2016 0:31:06 GMT 8 Ember said:

Mar 30, 2016 21:04:44 GMT 8 TheQ said:

I run a blog on human sexuality, interaction and Identity and it's incredibly important to me that non-binary and trans voices from across the spectrum are heard and respected! It's early days yet but we have already posted an article sharing one woman's story of coming to terms with her true gender identity and the world of online dating.

Howdy, TheQ. 

Please forgive me for asking, but what exactly makes this incredibly important to you? I'm sorry if that's an aggressive question, but in the spirit of getting to know you I feel compelled to ask. Similarly, What exactly do you mean when you say you'd love to hear from people looking to share their story? Do you mean share privately or are you looking to publish more stories? I've just glanced at your friend's story on Project Q and I found it well written and respectful... Also crushingly similar to my own experience, even if I don't (presently) feel any desire to physically transition. 

Welcome here. I'm looking forward to getting to know you as well. Please forgive my mild paranoia, I'm going through a period of extreme vulnerability right now and old fears die hard. I'm sure we can become fast friends. 

Hello Ember!!



Honestly, I can't put a finger on just one reason why it's incredibly important to me to read about and share stories from all over the spectrum - it's an amalgamation of many things I'm sure. Put plainly - because I believe it's the right thing to do, and it's something I want to do.

Being a part of the LGBT community and a woman (ugh patriarchy), I understand what it means to be something other, something outside of the "norm" (although I don't necessarily think straight, cis, monogamous actually is the norm - a topic I've actually written about on the blog wearetheq.wordpress.com/2016/01/11/a-little-bit-queer/ ). That said, the past few years I have thought a lot about the nature of privilege and how lucky I am in many ways. Hell, if you could make me straight tomorrow, I'd say NO WAY!



I guess it stems from prejudice. Society is filled with it and it pisses me off. I think we'd all be a lot better off if we just talked to each other as humans, shared our stories and listened to each others experiences. There's beginning to be a lot more talk of sex and identity in the mainstream press but the non-binary world still seems to be left out. That doesn't make sense to me, because sex is fascinating! Gender is fascinating! Identity is fascinating! People are fascinating! And reducing us to a narrow margin seems a disservice, in my book anyway!



I guess that's a few of the reasons why, but honestly I couldn't say for sure. I just believe it's right.



As for sharing stories - both! I would never publish or use anyone's story or words without their consent. I want to learn by reading the stories on this forum and making new friends but that's for my own personal growth. I'm sure that will affect my writing, but that's because it will affect me personally. This is for my journey too.



Privately is wonderful. Like I said, I want to grow and learn.

Publicly is great too - the more stories we can share about our experiences the better! My friend didn't say her name on the blog but her story is still out there for people to empathise with. The blog is just a platform for what I believe are important stories to tell and new perspectives to explore.



Anyway, gosh, I didn't half rant there, my bad! What an interesting question! And I STILL didn't manage to come to a proper answer!



Ahhh! Oh well, I guess we have time



Q x

[Ember]

The Q,

Forgive my presumption, but you seem to have simply discovered your 'Buddha nature' - your place of infinite compassion for your fellow sufferer, with the understanding that all of us suffer to some degree. Perhaps I'm being melodramatic... All I mean to say is that you seem to be motivated by compassion. This is something you and I (and I suspect many if not all of us here) have in common. It seems we're becoming friends already.

Thank you for taking the time to help me get to know you a little better, it has put me well at ease. Please consider me a friend, and I hope you'll ask me any questions that come to your mind... Sharing with others helps me see myself more clearly, so you'd be doing me a great favor, in all truth. Likewise, whenever you feel the urge to 'rant', please do share. Just as you seek to build yourself up by sharing in our experiences, I would like to learn from you in turn.

So here's what I know about you so far. You're compassionate, you write, and you're a seeker of personal growth. I'm out of practice at making new friends, so rather than ask you a specific question, I suppose I'll just prompt you - Is there anything else you want us to know about you? Something fun, something goofy, something dark, something sinister? And likewise, is there anything you'd like to know about us? Why not go post a new discussion topic? I know I'm personally addicted to talking about myself, so you'd surely get at least one reply.

At any rate, let me reiterate my welcome. Thank you for being here.