Boy in a Dress?

[Deleted]

www.huffingtonpost.com/jessica-herthel/a-boy-in-a-dress-isnt-fun_b_9548130.html?utm_hp_ref=transgender

Something to think about perhaps?

[Julie B]

What is sad about this, is the halarity and implied derision of a boy who appears a girl.  I am the child who was taunted and pushed to the ground for being too feminine.   I was the one called faggot, and left out of the laughter. I was the one who paid attention to other children so that I could pretend they were me and tell their story to my parents. God forbid that my mother should defend me in school. I would have gone from ostracized to pariah.

So it went, so it goes.  I didn't die and I love how I live my life today.  But there is still the issue of fitting into of our chosen community.   Girls who are too male, men who are too feminine.  Gender fluid people who are not nonbinary enough.  Those who don't fit the model or who move freely between identities are still treated as less than.

Just as it was never about the drinking fountains, it is not now about the bathrooms.  It is about loving each other as vulnerable and flawed people.  People who must be allowed to belong, because to deny them is to deny ourselves. 

Julie

[Shan]

Mar 30, 2016 4:25:43 GMT 8 Julie B said:

Just as it was never about the drinking fountains, it is not now about the bathrooms.  It is about loving each other as vulnerable and flawed people.  People who must be allowed to belong, because to deny them is to deny ourselves. 

Julie

Excellent thoughts! I'd like to hug the author of the original article too.

[Deleted]

It occurs to me that some day crossdressing among cis people may go bye-the-bye. For various reasons. For one thing, if they're crossdressing, they might be seen as trans, and probably a lot of them wouldn't want that. But more importantly, as we transpeople become more visible, crossdressing will no longer be seen as a joke. They'll also see that some of us aren't actually crossdressing: we're dressing properly. Basically, "gender-bending" has always been seen as a joke and a sickness, and crossdressing among cispeople has had the effect of emphasizing that point. When the viewpoint changes, crossdressing may go out.

Or it may go out in certain circumstances. There may still be a place and a time for it--drag queens and kings, other acts on stage, etc. But as a Halloween joke and that sort of thing, it might come to be seen as pointless.

[Shan]

Mar 30, 2016 15:52:15 GMT 8 @foxglove said:

It occurs to me that some day crossdressing among cis people may go bye-the-bye. For various reasons. For one thing, if they're crossdressing, they might be seen as trans, and probably a lot of them wouldn't want that. But more importantly, as we transpeople become more visible, crossdressing will no longer be seen as a joke. They'll also see that some of us aren't actually crossdressing: we're dressing properly. Basically, "gender-bending" has always been seen as a joke and a sickness, and crossdressing among cispeople has had the effect of emphasizing that point. When the viewpoint changes, crossdressing may go out.

Or it may go out in certain circumstances. There may still be a place and a time for it--drag queens and kings, other acts on stage, etc. But as a Halloween joke and that sort of thing, it might come to be seen as pointless.

Hmmm I don't know, it seems that crossdressing may always be a fetish for some, and for others it is a gateway into what eventually exposes a deep seated desire to become the opposite of their birth gender. I've seen several MtF folks start their journey innocently enough as a crossdresser only to come into contact with one or more trans women and suddenly realize what they really want and need for their own life goes far beyond just crossdressing.

[Deleted]

Mar 30, 2016 21:54:51 GMT 8 Shan said:

Mar 30, 2016 15:52:15 GMT 8 @foxglove said:

It occurs to me that some day crossdressing among cis people may go bye-the-bye. For various reasons. For one thing, if they're crossdressing, they might be seen as trans, and probably a lot of them wouldn't want that. But more importantly, as we transpeople become more visible, crossdressing will no longer be seen as a joke. They'll also see that some of us aren't actually crossdressing: we're dressing properly. Basically, "gender-bending" has always been seen as a joke and a sickness, and crossdressing among cispeople has had the effect of emphasizing that point. When the viewpoint changes, crossdressing may go out.

Or it may go out in certain circumstances. There may still be a place and a time for it--drag queens and kings, other acts on stage, etc. But as a Halloween joke and that sort of thing, it might come to be seen as pointless.

Hmmm I don't know, it seems that crossdressing may always be a fetish for some, and for others it is a gateway into what eventually exposes a deep seated desire to become the opposite of their birth gender. I've seen several MtF folks start their journey innocently enough as a crossdresser only to come into contact with one or more trans women and suddenly realize what they really want and need for their own life goes far beyond just crossdressing.

Now, Shan, maybe you weren't reading carefully enough.  Note the words in bold: I was talking about crossdressing among cis people.  As for crossdressing among people of our persuasion, that's eternal.  What a lot of people don't know is that when the Bible is correctly translated, it becomes clear that Adam and Eve invented their little fig-leaf aprons because they wanted to swap with each other.

[Shan]

My bible lesson for the day, thanks Foxglove, I feel invigorated! Actually I was talking about Cis crossdressers, I've been surprised at more than a few that found crossdressing to be an awakening for something long buried in their subconsciousness that is suddenly awakened. Not everyone in the trans community has "felt this way since they were five!"

[Deleted]

Oh, well, we're getting into problems of definitions now. Lots of crossdressers reject the label "transgender" because for them the word means having a gender identity that doesn't match your birth sex--and that's not them. I myself usually count them as trans (1) because most of them do; and (2) because they are different enough from your ordinary, vanilla cisperson as to merit special attention. But I don't argue the point because it can go either way, depending on how you want to look at it. And maybe it doesn't really matter anyway.

[Shan]

Screw it, c'mon Foxglove lets go to the pub and throw back a couple shots of Jamison and have us a nice BS session.

[Deleted]

Mar 31, 2016 4:51:10 GMT 8 Shan said:

Screw it, c'mon Foxglove lets go to the pub and throw back a couple shots of Jamison and have us a nice BS session.

BS?  Yeah, I can supply that.  Would you like a cart-load or a truck-load?  It's cheaper in bulk, you know.

[Shan]

Mar 31, 2016 21:40:31 GMT 8 @foxglove said:

Mar 31, 2016 4:51:10 GMT 8 Shan said:

Screw it, c'mon Foxglove lets go to the pub and throw back a couple shots of Jamison and have us a nice BS session.

BS?  Yeah, I can supply that.  Would you like a cart-load or a truck-load?  It's cheaper in bulk, you know.