inherit
131
0
1
May 16, 2024 7:57:51 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Mar 24, 2016 23:01:42 GMT 8
What are your boundaries? Your family's?
One of mine is keep conflict between folks that is personal off the main board...i am fierce on that. I mean it, big time mean it.
I have many boundaries. Each person is different. All involve compromise.
It works most of the time.
And they are so hard sometimes to keep.
Boundaries between forums, people, presentations, emotions, loves and crushes, spiritual and psychic things, relgeous convictions, even flirting on line and irl.
Unwise to cross a boundary.
Love to each of you.
Getting my fairy heart back here. And worried about our newbies getting their needs met.
Rule one...save lives first...love up transfolk first, transcend it all first.
Diamond hearts...takes work to be a diamond.
Boundaries...compromise...wisdom...giving too little or to much...control...
Thread could go on and on and on.
Its also a touchy subject. Most of us have had our boundaries violated. When it happens all hell brakes loose.
What makes it easier for you to keep them? To respect them? To enforce them?
Keep it from getting personal on this thread. These are rhetorical questions.
For the health of the forum..
Trinity
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150
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Apr 10, 2016 22:45:47 GMT 8
635
Shan
1,959
Feb 4, 2016 3:52:26 GMT 8
February 2016
shan
Non-Binary
Any as long as it's polite
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Post by Shan on Mar 25, 2016 0:57:30 GMT 8
Never caring to regurgitate old news, when the sun comes up the clouds burn off, we get to enjoy a new day. It's like that at home in my private life and here too where everyone of all TG stripes are welcome like the banner says.
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inherit
131
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1
May 16, 2024 7:57:51 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Mar 25, 2016 1:56:25 GMT 8
Personal boundaries at home can save a trans marriage. The classic "mitigating collateral damage "thread speaks to that.
My shrink in fl was always trying to get me to hold boundaries.
Lol.
Slowed me down a little...but... And gave me and her a chance to accept what works for us
No two peeps are the same. Everyone is different.
*hits gas, fishtails and hits speed limit in 3 seconds*
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May 13, 2023 1:13:57 GMT 8
1,523
Valerie
1,358
Sept 28, 2015 3:08:16 GMT 8
September 2015
soullessdhampir
Female
trans woman
Feminine
More androgynously feminine
She/Her
Pansexual
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Post by Valerie on Mar 25, 2016 5:12:57 GMT 8
Hmmm well then... Uuuhhh.... Hmmm this is quite thought provoking ummm my boundaries would actually depend on how close to someone I am with. Like if I first meet someone I'm super shy And quiet, and I barely speak up. But once I'm more comfortable with someone well let's just say I'm super open about quite a bit.
Like my best friends and I we legit just talk so openly about our sex lives to each other. Like one time we were just walking on campus and I was telling my best friend about the dildo I just ordered on Amazon, and he and I were just talking about toys, and then this woman ahead of us turned around and gave us the weirdest look, and I was just like "Hey" and then he and I went back to our conversation. Literally basically when I'm comfort around someone and we're super close they just end up hearing everything about my life!! Like the amount of times my best friend has seen me in just my underwear is a ton, and now when I went down south to visit her last summer we both ended up accidentally seeing each other naked. Oohhh weeeelll!! Haha
Okay so as for family boundaries I only talk about or tell them what I want them to know. I refrain from talking about personal life because well that's awkward and I highly doubt they wanna hear about the guys I been with. I think they'd be shocked by what they hear about my personal life. Ohh god, I remember all the never ending lectures I got from them when they found out I was doing Adult Cam shows.
As for work boundaries omg I'm seriously too open with all my coworkers!! I don't have filter at all. But my coworkers are closest I have to friends here in NY. I miss my friends in NC. So they tend to hear about my sexcapedes.
With my counselor I started seeing recently i try to be completely open and as honest as I possibly can be because I know that if I wanna better myself and be happier I need to be honest with person who's there to help, and that's going extremely well!!
Okay let's see here now as for boundaries with relationships, well I tend to like to keep open honest conversations, because communication is extremely important, but also I believe we need our own privacy as well and need to have our own personal down time. Time to just go off with friends without the other being upset about it. I guess if someone is too controlling or clingy that goes past my boundaries.
Now since we're talking about boundaries mine have been pushed so much lately!! For instance when I went out to drag show @ the bar, I had several people checking me out and hitting on me, and I was seriously uncomfortable because like I was there to see and enjoy drag! I'm not here trying to meet someone. Like keep it in your pants!! I really don't need you to keep coming over me and saying how good I look and how much I'm "fucking you up" and seeing you lick your lips when you look me up and down just seriously makes me uncomfortable! JUST STOP! I know I look good you don't need to keep coming on to me. Then this other dude he didn't bother me as much because he was nice and chatting with me, but he kept looking at me, watching, and staring it really made me uncomfortable and self conscious. Like seriously I'm here to enjoy the dragshow, stop making me uncomfortable and distracting me!!!
Then I met a transwoman at the bar and I started talking to her because I wanted to make a connection and hopefully a friend who would understand being trans! And ohh bless her heart she was so sweet, but I could feel and tell she was coming on to me as well, and it kept making me uncomfortable because I just really wanted to make a platonic friendship. And she would ask me if I liked guys or girls, and I was like I'm more into guys, and she asked what about crossdressers and I was like idk. I just kept trying to say after we exchanged numbers I wanted a strictly platonic friendship. But aside from that she was real nice! Offered to take me out for lunch, and take me to a place called Plato's Closet, because the girls there know her and it'd be a safe place to try clothes on. And I really want to hope that her and I can be platonic friends because that sounds sooo nice!! But omg plus there was this annoying Hetero cis guy who kept interrupting us randomly and staring at us because obviously in his view he saw two men dressed up femininely, but he also rudely pushed our heads towards one another saying kiss. It was so uncomfortable and I wanted to punch him. And just kept interrupting us and staring!! But anyway so Bri, gave me a ride home which thank god because the creepy dude from before who kept saying "you're fucking me up real bad" was talking to me as we left bar again. But so anyway when we got to my house she asked if she could have a kiss, and I was like no please the only way I'll be comfortable is if we keep this strictly platonic friendship based. And it kinda pissed me off because like why can't I meet someone who just wants to be friends! Why does someone always just want something from me! I just want friends!!
And second instance of my boundaries being crossed is I let a friend who was homeless stay with me a few weeks ago. But since he been staying with money been going missing, my bus pass went missing, laundry money outta my laundry went missing, apparently he was wearing my underwear because I found a pair hidden behind my bathtub, makeup brushes, and he wrote himself a check and cashed it!! Like legit forged my signature and everything. And every time i confronted him he would lie. So yesterday I went to bank and asked to image print me a copy of the check and last night a coworker came over with me to be my support back up of confronting him and asking him to leave. It was actually an extremely tense last night, but we gave him a week to leave. And so now this is last week I'll ever see him, and when he leaves that's it he's cut outta my life for good! It's been extremely stressful for me.
Wheeeewww, long post sorry. But yea there's my input on boundaries
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150
0
Apr 10, 2016 22:45:47 GMT 8
635
Shan
1,959
Feb 4, 2016 3:52:26 GMT 8
February 2016
shan
Non-Binary
Any as long as it's polite
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Post by Shan on Mar 25, 2016 5:25:58 GMT 8
Oh Valerie but you are a chatty one though, but that's ok we are completely enjoying your personality and it's fun getting to know you! Seems that you need to cultivate a friend you can drag along with you that will be intimidating toward those boundary interlopers. And by all means, kick that couch surfer to the curb honey!
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