FaerieKim
Junior Member
Posts: 88
Gender: Demigirl
Gender: Trans woman, demigirl
Presentation: Feminine
Pronouns: She/Her
Orientation: Pansexual
Orientation: but prefer women or feminine folk
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FaerieKim
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March 2016
faeriekim
Demigirl
Trans woman, demigirl
Feminine
She/Her
Pansexual
but prefer women or feminine folk
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Post by FaerieKim on Mar 14, 2016 17:33:32 GMT 8
I'm curious what people do when it comes to going to a job interview. I've always felt at my most uncomfortable in smart clothes. Smart clothes are so heavily gendered.
And when you're trying to get a job appearances can be so important to making a good impression. What do other trans and non-binary people do? Do you dress according to your identified gender or in line with the way others would expect you to dress based on your assigned gender?
Obviously if you're transitioning then it might depend how far along on your transition you are. But I wonder at what stage of transition would you start dressing for interviews like your identified gender instead of your assigned gender? How do you make the decision that you are far enough along the transition to take the risk?
And in any case, how does this apply to non-binary folks? Those who are non-binary in gender identity: how do you dress for job interviews? Do you just play it safe and dress according to assigned gender? Or do you find ways to mix up the smart attire and make it more androgynous somehow?
Is it better to play it safe and ensure you are more likely to get the job? Or is it better to present yourself as you actually are - because that way if you do get the job you won't have to live a lie every day?
I'm really struggling with this. Being non-binary there is no way I could get smart clothing right really - the smart, business look is very binary gendered. And I feel uncomfortable dressing male - but wouldn't quite feel right dressing female either. But in any case, getting a job to pay the bills seems a bit more important in the grand scheme of things than how uncomfortable I might feel in smart attire. On the other hand though I don't want to start off a new job being firmly in the closet either - because that has it's own kind of misery.
So I'd like some insight on how others handle this sort of thing
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Ayla
m2me
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aisla
Female
Female
She/Her
Pansexual
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Post by Ayla on Mar 14, 2016 21:15:51 GMT 8
Tricky one. I think that if you are NB you can present as andro in most interview situations but the extent to which you can accentuate or emphasise this depends upon industry, fashion and the specific employer's norms. In early stage businesses, more creative industries, healthcare and public sector you will find a greater opportunity for individualised or NB gender expression. However in male dominated professions there appears to be less opportunity to challenge birth gender norms.
For me this meant that I deliberately moved from a more conservative, well established consulting firm serving enterprise clients to a less conservative, newer, LGBT friendly, more diverse, consulting firm with a younger demographic, younger founders serving a younger clientele, with a focus on industry disruption and innovation etc serving a mix of early stage and enterprise clients. This has made a world of difference in terms of presentation options - with my former employer conservative gendered attire was expected and very much the norm, whereas with my current employer attire and presentation or uniform is far more idiosyncratic - longer hair/man bun/pony tail; beard or metro sexual; t shirt or open neck shirt; jeans - black or coloured; no ties and rarely a jacket (which can be on trend); ear rings; tattoos; clear lacquer or for some coloured nails.
Of course there are exceptions to the rule with a number of global businesses who take great pride in promoting diversity, being LGBT friendly and who have a number of senior trans employees eg Accenture, IBM, Google, retail banks etc also being a viable alternative for binary trans and non binary trans
This change in employer has made a huge difference to me. I feel more authentic, honest and alive. I feel less constrained and able to breathe.
Not sure what I would do with a new role if I was binary trans. Perhaps I would wait until I started my job and completed my probation period. Employers do provide more support to valued, longer term employees...but again each employer and each employee generally face a unique situation so one size may not fit all
Not sure if this helps but my current life seems a world away from my first job which was in the military and in hindsight was chosen to help me learn to be a binary alpha male. For a while this worked. Find out what will or can work for you.
Safe travels
Aisla
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Mar 14, 2016 22:38:07 GMT 8
Depends on the employer and the job. Appearance is ruled by what they have as expectations. Interview, a binary look if not sure, but also explain your gender and express your concerns. If the job pays well enough and I'd like it, I'd pretty much dress any way they want, it's their job your getting. Many jobs require a certain dress code or uniform. A suit is a uniform, binary dress is a uniform of a sort. The word uniform is the definition of what their dress code is. What they expect in the way of uniform dress while working. A phone call to HR of any company will tell you what they expect, you can make it an anonymous call ahead of time. They're paying you, so their expectations are a part of that pay. Again, it depends on what your expectations are vs theirs and what they are willing to pay you. The higher up the food chain, the more expectations they will have. But some have expectations of you dressing as you please, if that makes you more productive. I'd call ahead of time and simply ask them.
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Trinity
DES Trans
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trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Mar 15, 2016 0:20:45 GMT 8
Clown suit.
They pay me in a way to be an actor.
I went all out rich binary male on interview. I took a huge risk when under gender i made a box and checked off "other" on the job app. They missed that on the interview. But not when the contract went out.
That resulted in a very uncomfortable discussion with HR and a VP. But at my request i asked them to keep it secret.
On that interview i wore my rings. They are female rings.
As time has progressed the look has relaxed, but i wear a suit jacket over my breasts and large shirts.
The discloure has worked well.
But when i go to meet a client, i dress for the big time, stealth male.
For me its easy. I know who i am, what i am. So i can look like any gender and be totally fine with it. Yet, i am full trans female bodied.
Was just talking about this. I have long clear polished nails and a wedding ring with a pink heart fake diamond engagement ring next to it, and female eyebrows and longish hair.
I wouldnt dare go beyond that.
I lost it all transitioning at work down south. Learned a hard lesson.
Play it smart. And live with the results, dont bait and switch.
Trinity
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Mar 15, 2016 1:17:01 GMT 8
Since I'm basically retired, I don't have to do the clown suit, but I can dress like a clown...
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sooty
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Post by Taka on Mar 15, 2016 4:54:04 GMT 8
i've had only a very few jobs, and didn't get any of them through an interview.
the secret to landing that job, is to know the right people. that has always worked.
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Non-Binary
Any as long as it's polite
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Post by Shan on Mar 15, 2016 5:41:38 GMT 8
I always dressed as the job dictated because I wanted to get hired and knew what their expectations were. Once I had been there awhile I was always able to relax gradually outside of their expectations as I knew by then that I was cutting it on performance rather than appearance. My dress appearance has never generated one dollar for an employer, but my attitude and ability to produce has always outweighed appearances anyway. I retired back in 2001.
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