‘Bathroom panic’ doesn’t help anyone — male, female or trans

[Ayla]

Dear Civilities: The two public restrooms at our local theater are now trans-accessible, meaning the door placards were changed to ambiguous silhouettes that represent both male and female. But the theater often hosts school groups. At a recent teen gallery opening, mothers and grandmothers barred the doors to prevent men from entering while their daughters and granddaughters were using the two-stall facilities. I thought this was an unfortunate side-effect of a trans-positive change, but I do think it’s a problem for children to use co-ed bathrooms alongside adults. How to find a compromise?

— Name withheld, San Francisco

A: Here’s my advice to the worried mothers and grandmothers in this situation: Go into the restroom along with your young charges to wash your hands, fix your hair and keep an eye out. Notice I didn’t say with your daughters — my advice applies to boys as well, because this is an issue of safety, not gender. But please, don’t bar access to others who also have the right to use the facilities.

Public restrooms are clearly the next LGBT battleground, with a decided emphasis on the “T.” After last year’s ugly, but successful, effort to repeal Houston’s equal rights ordinance (largely because opponents claimed it would allow male predators to assault women and children) the floodgates have opened. Several states — including Texas, Arizona, Florida and Kentucky — are now considering bills that would bar bathroom access for transgender people. Last month, after fiery debate, South Dakota passed a bill requiring students to use restrooms designated for the gender they were assigned at birth — to be determined by a chromosomal test or birth certificate. The governor has until March 1 to sign or veto the bill.

This misguided — and discriminatory — battle is primarily about keeping transgender women out of women’s restrooms. Laws are positioned as measures to defend women against “sexual predators,” but the facts don’t support that fear. “In the places where transgender-inclusive policies exist, there has been no increase in [restroom] public safety incidents,” said Nick Adams, GLAAD’s director of programs for transgender media. He added that even when nondiscrimination protections include transgender people, it’s always illegal “for anyone to enter a public restroom for the purpose of harassing or harming another person, or invading their privacy.”

Let’s also remember that the overwhelming majority of sexual predators are straight men, which is why I would not want a daughter or son of mine to go unsupervised into a bathroom with adult men.

Access to safe bathroom space is such a basic need, but a recent Williams Institute study confirmed that transgender people face significant discrimination and harassment when trying to use the restroom. The study (of transgender or gender-nonconforming individuals in the D.C. area) concluded that an astonishing 70 percent had had a negative experience in a restroom, including verbal threats, physical assault and being denied access.

Transgender people can find themselves in a no-win situation, as did the child whose experience prompted this headline: “School suspends trans boy for using boys’ restroom — after girls complained he was using theirs.”

In any event, it sounds as if the theater, well-intentioned though it may be, made a bad call with its signage. Making restrooms trans-inclusive doesn’t mean mixing genders in multi-user restrooms — and that is not the kind of equal access transgender rights advocates seek.

“Having single-occupancy bathrooms be available to everyone helps not only transgender people, but also parents with small children, or people providing medical assistance to an elderly parent or someone who is disabled,” Adams said.

In the meantime, we all need to take a deep breath, avoid “bathroom panic” — and let people pee in peace.  

www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/bathroom-panic-doesnt-help-anyone--male-female-or-transgender/2016/02/26/22d0869c-d9a6-11e5-925f-1d10062cc82d_story.html   

[Deleted]

Is anybody getting tired of the bathroom debate? At least this article is positive.

[Ayla]

I am tired. This 'issue' continues to run and run. First it was just a slow drip, definitely torture but manageable. Now it appears to be everywhere. We are knee deep in this stuff.

Where is a good plumber when you need one?

Safe travels

Aisla

[Deleted]

All these stories come from the US, Aisla. I don't know if this is an issue anywhere else. It isn't here in Ireland, and unless I'm mistaken, it isn't in Britain, either. Then we had that article this evening that indicated it's no big deal in Canada. What about Oz?

Every people has their eccentricities and foibles, and I believe this is an American one. This issue arose in the 70's in connection with the Equal Rights Amendment, which was ultimately defeated. If men and women are equal, does that mean men can use the ladies' room? There were people actually worried about that. It seems to me that lots of American men have an obsession with the ladies' room--men like Mike Huckabee.

I do sometimes worry. Are American transpeople's rights going to founder altogether over this issue? I believe that the majority of Americans are more sensible than that, but there are a lot of haters over there, and they are barking mad.

[Ayla]

It hasn't been an issue in Australia or in New Zealand but the US creates and shapes many issues through the weight of their media and general cultural influence, so this may change.

I like Americans, Canadians, Irish, Welsh, Italians, Thai, Malay, Chinese et al but have noted that there are discernible differences between Americans (if indeed you can generalise) and Australians. Perhaps it is that puritanical streak that seems to pervade much of their society. Just why bathrooms are such an emotive topic, and the subject of imagined threat and risk, is quite beyond me. Perhaps it is a little like the UK Tory Party, the Catholic Church etc, in that there is power in numbers and power attracts those with flaws and provides them with the means of hurting others as they don't or can't accept or feel love for them self.

Safe travels

Aisla