Hello - A new non-binary person appears

[Ren]

Hello everyone, my name is Ren,

This introduction is going to be a mess but I've been finding it difficult not knowing many other non binary or trans people to talk to while figuring out what's going on with me, aside from my one non-binary/trans friend who has been amazingly supportive and actually showed me this site.

I'm a 21 year old arty student and for the past three/four years I've been hardcore questioning my gender and after talking to my friend I've come to realize that I'm non-binary, which I love and I'm so happy that it's a part of me that I can explore now that I've come to terms with it, although I still struggle with finding a balance and it's a fairly recent revelation so I'm still hiding it from everyone except my close friends, which is difficult. However, more recently I've been feeling increasingly uncomfortable with my male body and wishing more and more that it was more feminine, maybe even completely. There's been several times in my past before those four years where I wanted to have a female body but I never really thought anything of it and didn't see changing anything as an option, only acting more masculine to hide it. It's still new so I'm still exploring but my main fear is that I'll want to transition and it'll be too late but I'm constantly challenging this want to transition because I want to make sure that I really am sure. 

I wont vent too much anyway, I'm just a fairly regular arty person, fairly new to all this, I love games, animation, art, music, and all varieties of nerdy things and I cant wait to meet new people. 

[Shan]

Hi Ren...
      Welcome to the group! There are lots of posts here that you might read that you will find helpful in clarifying your thoughts and feelings about yourself more fully, and of course we will all be interested in your own input, so don't be afraid to post things here....Shan

[Taka]

welcome!

it will never be too late until you're dead. maybe too late for perfect results, but what worth does perfect really have...?
statistics seem to say that level of discrimination in their area is what decides a person's level of happiness after transitioning, so unless you live in a bad area that's at least not something to fear. changing your body to something you don't want is the greatest danger, so figuring out slowly is safer.

read as much as you want. see what resonates with you and what feels alien.
identity is a rather personal experience, and much easier to figure out if you can say you're part of a group than constantly finding yourself outside all currently known groups. non-binary is a very large group though, poorly defined, so it's easy to belong to. but still difficult to figure the right choices of transition or not and how.

still, the most important thing is to be happy. so do what makes that happen.

[Trinity]

Hiya Ren!

Nope never too late honey, and the journey itself is lifelong anyway.

Theres a lot of knowledge and nice people in this forum, and we are most happy to answer any questions you might have based on our own experience. I personally am a full transition nonbinary, I live socially in multiple gender presentations and experience the dynamics of both male and female gender centers and everything in between, all at the same time, and am physically wired girl.

Everyone's experience is different, the big thing is not to fear, take it slow, laugh a bit, and talk it out. We are here for you, in whatever way you need us.

Blessings dear, welcome to the nonbinary transfolk forum.

Trinity

[EchelonHunt]

Hi Ren!

First off, welcome to Non-Binary & Trans Folk forum!

You aren't alone here, we will help and support you however we can.

Since the forum has people from all over the world, from different timezones, replies may be delayed. Don't despair!

Feel free to post on any threads or post any topics you wish to discuss with others. I find asking a simple question can invoke discussion among members that is quite insightful to read.

Everyone's journey and sense of self is different. It most certainly is not too late for anything

Kind regards,
Jacey

[Ren]

Hello again,

Thank you all so much for your supportive advice and welcoming messages!! very sorry it's such a late reply, it's been a crazy few weeks but excited to start exploring more!

Thank you again!

Ren

[Shan]

And welcome again Ren!

[Mingma]

Ren, the only late reply is the one that is never written.  We all have lives, work, school, friends, and family.  If this or any other forum consumes all your life, well, then you might want to rethink things.

A word of advice

This pilgrimage to who you authentically are is remarkably difficult, please do not try to do it alone.  There is wisdom here, but a competent gender therapist will save you a lot of time and keep you from many dead ends and perhaps foolish decisions.   By and large everyone here shares a variation of the feeling of being wrong.   Dysphoria can be acute or merely a background discomfort.  My experience is that left untreated and ignored it will eventually leave you sobbing in despair or worse.  The statistics are frightening.
 
The other thing that happens is, as you alluded to, you begin to compensate.  I my case I got married and raised a family, did dangerous work, played rough and hard, went out every day, and slowly died inside.  I became addicted to narcotics and alcohol, and messed up the lives of many innocent and loving people.  I endlessly regret the harm I have done and the loss of my own innocence and youth.  But I am today alive and active in my community.  I try to be of service when I can and to always relish the life I have been given.  A life which is filled with joy, travel and remarkable friendships.

There are a lot of incredible young people here and a few old sages too.  This is a pretty good place to take a shot at self discovery and happiness.  I'm delighted you're here and wish you joy and success.
 
With Love,
Ming