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7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,578
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Feb 16, 2016 0:51:49 GMT 8
The fact that you are comfortable in both presentations is important. When you fight a part of you dysphoria can result, at least with me. Acceptance of each facet is key. But with your girl, there is a thread on collateral damage that is excellent to read. Just tell her yes you are nb, and dysphoria is natural from time to time.
Its a long journey sweetie.
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guest@proboards.com
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2016 14:35:52 GMT 8
Cherie My wife has the same issue, concern and fear. I think she understands the concept at an intellectual and spiritual level but worries that the standard trans narrative may end up being our narrative and end our relationship. I have found that there is nothing I can do other than being honest with myself and with her. The fact that many non binaries physically transition to give themselves greater freedom to express themselves as non binary feeds into her fear. It would be great if she was bisexual but she isn't. Still, in the space of 24 hrs we moved from talk of divorce and separation to a space of appreciation, affirmation, respect and love, so we can still believe that we have a future together. Tomorrow I have another decision to make. Do I move to the max HRT implant or not? Safe travels Aisla Thanks Aisla. Your words help a lot. My wife is having trust issues as I hid my trans-ness from her and she wonders what else I have hidden. We explored that my deception is my mechanism of protection. Hide this so you can't hurt me with it. We both have a lot of work to do - me in being honest and open with her, her learning to trust me again, and both of us working to not hurt each other.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2016 14:36:51 GMT 8
The fact that you are comfortable in both presentations is important. When you fight a part of you dysphoria can result, at least with me. Acceptance of each facet is key. But with your girl, there is a thread on collateral damage that is excellent to read. Just tell her yes you are nb, and dysphoria is natural from time to time. Its a long journey sweetie. Thanks Trinity. Sigh, I sometimes wish it were easy and simple... not a long hard journey. But we love each other. So that's the cost of loving someone.
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7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,578
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Feb 16, 2016 19:12:13 GMT 8
We walk the diamond tightrope but the garden on the other side is soooo beautiful.
A good gender therapist would have you both in.
Betrayal is a feeling they have, but usually we think we can beat being trans and give it up for them. But we normally cannot, and misinformation and fear caused us to try.
It can be good to have a shrink take us through these waters together, they should be trained in what to do if they are a good gender therapist.
Trust is a huge issue for our wives. I wish you the very best with it.
Trinity
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Mar 4, 2016 12:59:51 GMT 8
Your sex is the body you were born with, but able to change. Hormones, surgery, etc... Your sexuality is who you're attracted to in sexual or other ways. This can vary for any number of reasons over time. Your gender is who you think you are and is naturally unchangeable. Your perception may however, change.
Difficult question to say what it is exactly, it varies depending on the individual. Sex and gender are related, sex and sexuality are as well. Sexuality and gender can be related, or not. Depends on how the other relationships of sex and sexuality relate.
Gender is your perception of self in relation to sex and sexuality, but also your innate perception of self outside of these things. My gender is mine alone, but close enough to many others and also shares traits with even more.
The average person about 20% of the traits or aspects of the sex opposite of their birth sex. Average... nobody was rated as 100% in a survey, which one I can't remember now.
I see gender as the aspects that I seem to have out of all the possible aspects of gender. I don't see it as this much male/female, but as aspects that can define either/or. The aspects are such that they could be limitless in some respects, so the combinations are as well.
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Valerie
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Sept 28, 2015 3:08:16 GMT 8
September 2015
soullessdhampir
Female
trans woman
Feminine
More androgynously feminine
She/Her
Pansexual
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Post by Valerie on Mar 7, 2016 4:33:13 GMT 8
What is gender?: Hmmm that's a very interesting and difficult question. Gender is very personal, and ambiguous. It's extremely broad, and an unique experience for everyone. I guess i view it as more of gender is what you feel you are, it's more personal and unique to you. It's more of heart, mind and soul; whereas sex would be more physical, and forces you into a male/female gender binary. Which having our societal gender binary is extremely toxic, especially for those who are born intersex, and doctors will perform surgeries on babies to make them either male or female. Which could affect them emotionally, mentally, and physically.
What does gender mean to me?: Well this question is a bit harder to answer. Ummm especially since i'm still questioning, and trying to figure myself out more. But gender to me i see it as just kinda me, kinda like it's more of my soul, and who i am on inside, and not on outside. Like, most of the time i'll view myself, and in my mind i see myself as a more petite, and feminine individual, but then looking in mirrors, or actually seeing my body it's just like kinda a disappointment, and frustration when i see that i have more of a masculine body. Like i wish i could have more of an androgynous body, that would be neither masculine or feminine looking, but more like a combination. I don't know, who knows. I guess gender to me is who I am, how i view myself, and carry myself more as. I'm sorry for rambling.
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7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,578
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Mar 7, 2016 5:15:51 GMT 8
Ramble away! And welcome to the unicorn forest!
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Mar 8, 2016 3:44:27 GMT 8
It's important to know that not that many of us have bodies that even come close to what our ideals might be. (Does anyone ever become completely satisfied, 100%, with how they look?) Who you are inside, nurturing that part of you, gaining the confidence you desire, this is a primary goal. The better you know yourself, your gender, the better able you'll be able to handle what you need to do to accept or change your body. Even if a person has posted pics, the conversations come from within, it's a big part of why this forum is. I say this a lot,'be descriptive about yourself, not a description'. A point in doing that regularly is that it helps you to focus on who you are, not who you present as. By focusing on your gender, your presentation will follow. But we all still like to talk and even post pics about our presentation, but it's in knowing our gender that makes it fun.
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Prefer she/her am fine with they, not so hip on he.
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minga
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Post by Mingma on Mar 8, 2016 4:08:42 GMT 8
Who you are inside, nurturing that part of you, gaining the confidence you desire, this is a primary goal. The better you know yourself, your gender, the better able you'll be able to handle what you need to do to accept or change your body. I say this a lot,'be descriptive about yourself, not a description'. A point in doing that regularly is that it helps you to focus on who you are, not who you present as. By focusing on your gender, your presentation will follow. Thank You Ativan.
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