inherit
131
0
1
May 16, 2024 7:57:51 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Jan 29, 2016 8:43:55 GMT 8
I get lonely in a crowd. Because i sometimes feel like nobody else is like me.
But transfolks really have a hard time with it. I still have immediate family...sleep with a wife. What hurts is i wish to be "taken".
I worry about folks here. And i dont understand why thrre are so few of us.
Do you feel like that too?
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inherit
17
0
Feb 26, 2021 11:29:15 GMT 8
1,139
Ayla
m2me
5,298
Nov 19, 2014 19:54:37 GMT 8
November 2014
aisla
Female
Female
She/Her
Pansexual
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Post by Ayla on Jan 29, 2016 9:18:35 GMT 8
TSJ
Not sure that lonely is the right term to describe my situation but ..
- I crave to be understood - I have to have an honest, open and authentic relationship with those who are important to me - I need to be respected - I wish to be loved
In most every area of my life the above is either true or a work in progress. Perhaps it would be better if I could present my 'truth' but emotional integrity, peace and joy are far more important to me.
It would be great if I could just 'be' but I know that it may not always be safe or risk free to do this, given the level of ignorance of NB issues and life experience.
Perhaps I am loneliest where I have had my longest and most intimate relationship ie with my wife. She has been great but one thing she is not, is a lesbian. She has made this very clear. She also craves certainty and I can't give it to her. My journey has had so many twists and turns that I really don't know where my path will take me. She is convinced that I will transition after my father dies. I don't see it. All I know is that she is feeling more and more distant and more critical of me as I start to work with, socialise with and come out to a more diverse community and to our mutual friends. This pulling away, this attempt at imposing constraints and her fears on our relationship is fracturing our bond and I am feeling lonely. My fellow traveller is no longer at my side.
However, a traveller has to follow their path.
Safe travels
Aisla
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inherit
131
0
1
May 16, 2024 7:57:51 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Jan 29, 2016 9:25:13 GMT 8
Yeah.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
Deleted
inherit
guest@proboards.com
65
0
May 19, 2024 14:55:56 GMT 8
Deleted
0
May 19, 2024 14:55:56 GMT 8
January 1970
Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 30, 2016 2:15:40 GMT 8
Oh, yes, loneliness. We know what that's all about, don't we?
So real it should be solid, tangible, like a book on your shelf that your hand can take up, that your eyes can scan for the revelation of all your secrets. So personal it could be a tune from your collection, written from and for your heart alone.
Always hovering about, stroking your neck, teasing your hair and ears--except when it decides to slap you in the face.
A tiny little thing when you were young, it has grown ever larger and more brooding with the passing years.
It is the shadow in the corner, the fluttering of the curtains on the breeze. It is the creaking of the staircase outside your door, the swaying of the trees outside your windows.
It is the only faithful thing you have ever known, the only thing that has ever known you inside and out, the only thing that has never let you down.
It makes no promises it will not keep. It doesn't seek to deceive. It believes in truth in advertising, delivers everything to specifications.
No matter that you may not have put in an order. It has all your records on file. It knows what is needed and when.
Look about you for something new, whatever direction you face it's there in front of you smiling contentedly.
No point in giving way to despair. Loneliness isn’t easily impressed.
No point in making a show of strength. Loneliness isn’t easily fooled.
You can go out for a while as a temporary palliative. Loneliness is OK with that. It knows it will be even keener when you return.
And why such loneliness? Because you feel that nowhere out there is a kindred spirit made just for you? That's when loneliness bursts out laughing, a good-natured, sympathetic laugh. "A kindred spirit, baby? That's me!"
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inherit
131
0
1
May 16, 2024 7:57:51 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Jan 30, 2016 5:19:41 GMT 8
Brilliantly written. And horrifying.
Do you think i would have paid such a high price in pain to keep the marriage safe by delaying what I could and trying so hard, without the terror of loneliness?
Even to the point of never getting laid as she? To be taken?
I fear loneliness worse than everything else. Its is the source of the breakdowns. Yet, i had to transition. Had to.
But there is hope...there is hope. I see the couples, love does stay.
Gee Foxy. You ok?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
Deleted
inherit
guest@proboards.com
65
0
May 19, 2024 14:55:56 GMT 8
Deleted
0
May 19, 2024 14:55:56 GMT 8
January 1970
Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 30, 2016 5:31:35 GMT 8
I'm fine. I've learned to live with it. Frankly, I think there is something worse than loneliness: being tied to someone who drives you bonkers. I had that once upon a time.
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inherit
131
0
1
May 16, 2024 7:57:51 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Jan 30, 2016 6:55:35 GMT 8
Once upon a time....
Youd write a great once upon a time indeed
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