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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2014 23:21:41 GMT 8
Thoughts my dears
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Post by Ayla on Nov 23, 2014 18:10:19 GMT 8
This is difficult but in many ways my perceptions changed most markedly as I became more comfortable with being trans. Of course in order to get there - Serrano, Bernstein et al; my endo, my therapist(s), new research into brain science and development; meditation; Susans (many of those, are here on this forum) and in particular Ativan. Their writing, insight and generous contribution provided incredible validation and assistance in gaining the confidence to understand that this was a journey to freedom, the freedom to understand, to express and to accept myself. For the many others - your friendship, support, sharing, insight have been the fuel that has propelled one frightened and damaged person onto a path of understanding and of growth. Thank you.
Safe travels
Aisla
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Post by Deleted on Nov 24, 2014 3:58:31 GMT 8
Way too many people and experiences to name off here. Even now, I'd say my perception of gender and being trans is constantly evolving.
People... well, my first introduction to anything trans was my ex. Then lots of people at the old forum. Sephirah was hugely influential in helping me understand my own gender, Shan and Suzifrommd helped the most in breaking me out of the strict binary mindset I was in. Edge and Trinity were pretty influential, too. I'd say Ativan has been the most influential in terms of my understanding of gender recently, but I continue to learn from just about everyone, as well as my own introspection.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 24, 2014 4:00:22 GMT 8
Oh, and Jacey! I've learned a lot about gender from Jacey, too.
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Post by bhhfmm on Nov 24, 2014 4:24:00 GMT 8
Can't really narrow it down to one thing or person. I've been involved in some way with other trans people since usenet, online and in person, even some rather large events in various parts of the east. They've all helped shape my perception of it which does keep expanding as I learn about more aspects of it all. Only in the last few years have I really come across more non-binary although I have known some more initially traditional mtf kind of skew over towards it after they finished their transition. I suppose they felt like once they got through the main part of it, that a lot of the traditional trappings weren't really so important after all and they could just really be themselves without worry about how it would appear.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 24, 2014 8:47:33 GMT 8
Should have just been influenced, not most.
The bullys. The mocking voices of children.
My wife, big time.
My endo, my shrink...
In here?
Aisla, profoundly. Total emotional support. There during the breakdowns.
Julie, first transperson I ever spoke to, I was scared to death. Remember dear?
Then came Patty, so close a friend, she mothers...
Ativan, first posting, then after the meltdown and hormone overdose, always there for me, still, always there, more than friend to me.
Jayce, for their fascinating gender, one I thought I helped, makes me feel so good
Taka, the eagle and sootball, more special to me than he could know.
And all of you. The political df, Shan the warrior, protecting, loving, sending me flowers to melt my heart, Mark, courage and relentless life.
Jess for their banter, the vamp for being the vamp.
And those I missed...
You all created Satinjoy. Filled h'er core, saved h'er life...
Blessings
Trinity Satinjoy
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Post by Laura J on Nov 24, 2014 9:25:54 GMT 8
I don't have to think back very far, it was one person who introduced me to what trans was, Andreja Pejic. About 5 years ago a friend in Serbia asked me to be co-admin of Andreja Pejic International Support and I've been following her ever since.. Friends I made from that site where my first trans friends, and there I got a basic understanding and admiration of the trans community.. From there I slowly started questioning my own gender, which inavertly lead me to Susans, and to all of you. You all cared about my feelings and accepted me, and through you all I have grown, matured and am where I am in my journey today.. And my debt and loyalty to you is forever.
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Post by Taka on Nov 27, 2014 17:29:15 GMT 8
i think that would probably be houjou tsukasa. i always knew there was something i was missing, a point i couldn't make. figured out what it was when i read his "family compo". it's interesting how empowering it is to see someone else have the same thoughts as myself, even if it's just fiction.
ativan only changed my understanding of "normal". kind of an important change that one too...
other than that, i learn a whole lot about the world, people, and gender from all my friends here, and some more who aren't here. but that doesn't really change my perception. it just adds to my knowledge, more data to analyze so i can adjust definitions.
i have always had this inkling, that there's something more than what we usually get to hear. what i didn't have, was the courage to admit it as truth. that's what i got from this community.
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Post by EchelonHunt on Nov 27, 2014 19:39:52 GMT 8
Participating in cosplay was the first experience I got that opened me to the cross-dresser community. Dressing up as young male characters allowed me to express myself in a different manner than normally. It allowed me to escape myself, my body... it was then that I began to realize I enjoyed having my breasts concealed. I had remembered I originally believed I was going to grow up flat-chested and was quite happy with that thought... until delayed puberty slapped me in the face. As a result, I began binding my breasts outside of cosplay and wearing men clothes more.
I firmly believed if I must dislike having a female body, then it must mean I am male. As the idea became tangible, I clung to it like a baby does to a security blanket. I did not doubt my male identity for a second, I came out to my family and they told me I am not male at all because I act like a girl. I didn't care what they thought, my mind was made up, it was adamant that I was male. A few years later and an abusive relationship later, my ex forcing me to conform to male stereotypes and gender roles only reinforced the fact I don't care about fulfilling shallow things like roles or stereotypes. Those kind of things only damages one's individuality and unique identity rather than enhance it.
I came to the conclusion that I was genderless and upon thinking it over, I realized that disliking my female parts doesn't equate being a man. I was naive at 18 and only thought you could choose between female and male as that was the only options displayed by society. It means I simply did not want to be a woman, I wanted to be sexless. I am very thankful I realized this because the thought of spending money on phalloplasty and waking up to the realization I never wanted to be a man in the first place, but sexless... I am too terrified to think of what kind of mental state I would be thrown into. I could be torn between cutting it off and refusing to cut it off because of the sacrifices made to get that surgery completed in the first place... not to mention the guilt of ruining the surgeon's masterpiece. Being non-binary and wishing I had been on low-dose T before my voice dropped? I can live with that but the thought of powering through life, being stubborn and hot-headed about my male identity, never questioning it and ignoring the small child-like voice at the back of my mind, I would definitely be in a worse off position than I am in now.
I am thankful I have realized my non-binary identity sooner rather than later.
Pikachu, Aisla, Auntie Shan, Julie, Taka, Ativan and last but not least, Trinity - thank you for being understanding and supportive. Thank you for breaking me out of the rigid binary mindset and giving me a whisper of what freedom sounds like.
In the non-binary world, there are no rules, no stereotypes, no standards to adhere to. It is to simply be free to be yourself and express yourself without any limitations. Thank you all for helping me realize that
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Post by Patty on Nov 27, 2014 21:30:26 GMT 8
Sometimes I think,ponder,ruminate and to often dwell on things and wonder where we would be if we were just accepted in life as who we are. How would our lives be different to be just who we are? To know no boundaries and still be welcomed as an important part of a society but with special gifts where would we be? Perhaps a feminine or masculine leaning warrior or the same as someones partner . A "female" able to show her true masculine identity or a "male able to show his true feminine identity without fear.Truly jokers in the deck of humanity able to be either or,a valuable individual to a group,one in essence with ability to be two a universal human.With the lines blurred how many of us who identify as either one or the other now,would actually be what we term non binary. Freedom to be, is to me the key. During my life I could have crossed over very easily and have become whoever or whatever was needed. A warrior by day a wife by night or any other mixture in between.Truly a blessed ability to be comfortable with but that's just me I am different. And now for GURU on the mountain top award, it has to go to SHANTEL when I melted down and others shut the door in my face Shantel welcomed and mentored me. Poured fertilizer on my feet and in my mind and said go forth grow and prosper. I work hard to make her proud. Patty
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Post by EchelonHunt on Nov 27, 2014 22:03:53 GMT 8
This is such a wonderful topic to discuss. I have learned a lot from reading everyone's responses. Makes my little heart jump in happiness to see how far each and every one of you have come...!
As they say, it is not the end, it is only the beginning!
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Post by Asche on Nov 27, 2014 23:15:32 GMT 8
1: Natalie Reed's and Zinnia Jones' blogs. Probably because I need concrete examples to understand anything (anybody.) In particular, a commentor on Zinnia Jones' blog sent me to Susan's.
2: Susan's. For all of its flaws, it has (or at least had) a varied mix of people (mostly) getting along and respecting one another. It was there that I started seeing trans men, for instance, and grew to not just accept, but appreciate them.
3: My local TG support group. FWIW, mostly trans men. They have been very accepting and encouraging me to be whatever I need to be.
4: TG stories. Although most of them are either not very good or not helpful to me, some of them have helped me clarify my own thoughts. In particular, the idea that whether I live as a man or a woman, I am the same person, it's just how others perceive and deal with me that is different.
There's the separate question of who or what has influenced how I see myself, but that's for another thread.
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