Petal_19
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May 17, 2024 9:49:05 GMT 8
Petal_19
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May 17, 2024 9:49:05 GMT 8
January 1970
GUEST
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Post by Petal_19 on Oct 16, 2015 3:18:46 GMT 8
Hi Everyone, I've been looking for a place to hang out and chat through the confusion that is in my head about my gender, or lack there-of...... I guess I've known I don't really identify as female since I was tiny, way before I realised I was gay. Now I am just beginning to work out who I think I am and who I want to be. But I think I probably have lots of questions to ask along the way.... I think I probably fall in the non-binary bracket, I've always been happiest with short hair, dressing androgynously and am often really unhappy with the fact I have breasts... But in saying that I don't want to be a man, I just feel like I am neither. Some days I feel more one than the other but always somewhere in the middle in a way that just isn't easy for me to manage day-to-day. It's taken me a long time to come to the point I can talk about this with anyone but I guess that will sound familiar to most of you! At the moment I only really talk about this with my wife but that's difficult as although she's supportive, she likes me as a girl and that's what she's interested in. Sometimes I think it's not really fair on her to talk through everything I'm feeling when she finds it as hard as I do to understand. I guess I am hoping I can chat through some of the questions that crop up and pick the brains of people here who understand without having to feel like I am having to explain myself all the time.... Looking forward to finding out more
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Feb 26, 2021 11:29:15 GMT 8
1,139
Ayla
m2me
5,298
Nov 19, 2014 19:54:37 GMT 8
November 2014
aisla
Female
Female
She/Her
Pansexual
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Post by Ayla on Oct 16, 2015 5:35:34 GMT 8
Welcome Petal, and thank you for your introduction. Feel free to hang out, comment, question, reflect, challenge, query etc. We are a pretty diverse and friendly group who have found each other by chance and it works! Mutual respect is pretty much the only rule applied.
Many interesting threads and some very interesting links and resources. Our lived experiences, sense of identity, narratives and journeys differ but we are here for each other. Understanding, accepting, expressing and celebrating yourself as authentically as possible may be a fairly simple, linear process or one that is far from linear, simple or quick. The important thing is that this is your life, your sense of self and your journey. As fellow travellers we enjoy company and supporting each other.
Your journey will be unique, there is no time table other than the one you set. It starts with a single step followed by another. You can stop, retrace your steps, change direction, pause to enjoy the view or to stay within touching distance of your partner. There is no right way or no wrong way, only your way. Most of us have found a good gender counsellor and later a good endo very useful, but each of us have found support and acceptance critical. That is why we are here.
Safe travels
Aisla
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Post by Deleted on Oct 16, 2015 11:54:08 GMT 8
Welcome Petal. We are all different. But one thing for sure is that we as NB transgendered are misunderstood.
Hang out. Talk. Share our experiences and just feel at home.
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Post by Annys on Oct 18, 2015 15:29:00 GMT 8
I favour just hanging out and lurking, myself. These people are super open to discussions and chat, whenever anyone desires. (Some things might take a couple of days, like my reply to you now. It's a small community). I hope you find what you're looking for!
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Post by Deleted on Oct 18, 2015 21:06:55 GMT 8
I dont see my original post. Must have hit the wrong button.
Welcome dear, yes, we are always here for you.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2015 6:21:40 GMT 8
I favour just hanging out and lurking, myself. These people are super open to discussions and chat, whenever anyone desires. (Some things might take a couple of days, like my reply to you now. It's a small community). I hope you find what you're looking for! Unfortunately Annys is right in that it is a small community. But it is growing larger. Slowly but surely. BTW Annys, why just lurk? I am sure your experiences are and can be invaluable to someone else. Of course some of us have big mouths. The whole non binary thing is weird, unusual and special all at the same time. Most even in our community, the LGBT community that is, don't even understand the non binary aspect of transgender. Some do I'm sure but a lot from smaller towns really don't or can't comprehend the gist of the whole thing. So if we are both why not effeminate gays? Why not just butch lesbians? Why not totally MTF or FTM? Sometimes it feels like I am in the Twilight Zone. And then I think that maybe everyone else is in the Twilight Zone.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2015 6:49:06 GMT 8
I favour just hanging out and lurking, myself. These people are super open to discussions and chat, whenever anyone desires. (Some things might take a couple of days, like my reply to you now. It's a small community). I hope you find what you're looking for! Unfortunately Annys is right in that it is a small community. But it is growing larger. Slowly but surely. BTW Annys, why just lurk? I am sure your experiences are and can be invaluable to someone else. Of course some of us have big mouths. The whole non binary thing is weird, unusual and special all at the same time. Most even in our community, the LGBT community that is, don't even understand the non binary aspect of transgender. Some do I'm sure but a lot from smaller towns really don't or can't comprehend the gist of the whole thing. So if we are both why not effeminate gays? Why not just butch lesbians? Why not totally MTF or FTM? Sometimes it feels like I am in the Twilight Zone. And then I think that maybe everyone else is in the Twilight Zone. Girl I could get you in so much trouble about that big mouth of yours.... Oh crap did I have to go there? HAH! I have no problem with those who watch and say little. I'm just glad that people are here. Yes its small, but that just means its that much stronger. Door is wide open. Like your mouth darling.... Playful tonight, its fun.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2015 7:01:15 GMT 8
Unfortunately Annys is right in that it is a small community. But it is growing larger. Slowly but surely. BTW Annys, why just lurk? I am sure your experiences are and can be invaluable to someone else. Of course some of us have big mouths. The whole non binary thing is weird, unusual and special all at the same time. Most even in our community, the LGBT community that is, don't even understand the non binary aspect of transgender. Some do I'm sure but a lot from smaller towns really don't or can't comprehend the gist of the whole thing. So if we are both why not effeminate gays? Why not just butch lesbians? Why not totally MTF or FTM? Sometimes it feels like I am in the Twilight Zone. And then I think that maybe everyone else is in the Twilight Zone. Girl I could get you in so much trouble about that big mouth of yours.... Oh crap did I have to go there? HAH! I have no problem with those who watch and say little. I'm just glad that people are here. Yes its small, but that just means its that much stronger. Door is wide open. Like your mouth darling.... Playful tonight, its fun. Unfortunately my mouth is what gives me away most times. Oh yeah it has gotten me in trouble plenty of times. I seem to irritate guys as a guy because I talk way too much. But those that like us, they do seem to like the big mouth though. Hell you didn't have to go there. I did. ut on a serious note though. I have no problem with those that watch and say little but I think they too have a wealth of knowledge on how to handle this little thing too. I mean we are all different. If I can help just one person to understand and come to terms then I would be happy. I wish I could help everyone come to terms on how to deal but hell I can't even deal with it sometimes, so.... Any time a little advice that can pertain to me is always appreciated.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2015 7:14:38 GMT 8
I favour just hanging out and lurking, myself. These people are super open to discussions and chat, whenever anyone desires. (Some things might take a couple of days, like my reply to you now. It's a small community). I hope you find what you're looking for! Unfortunately Annys is right in that it is a small community. But it is growing larger. Slowly but surely. BTW Annys, why just lurk? I am sure your experiences are and can be invaluable to someone else. Of course some of us have big mouths. The whole non binary thing is weird, unusual and special all at the same time. Most even in our community, the LGBT community that is, don't even understand the non binary aspect of transgender. Some do I'm sure but a lot from smaller towns really don't or can't comprehend the gist of the whole thing. So if we are both why not effeminate gays? Why not just butch lesbians? Why not totally MTF or FTM? Sometimes it feels like I am in the Twilight Zone. And then I think that maybe everyone else is in the Twilight Zone. You know, I don't identify with any of those labels and I walk the spectrum at will and I am full transition. But as to the whole gay straight thing, when I go to the gay meetings, its just a completely different energy there. And thats the only way I can put it. I know personally I belong here, and I am a nobinary transperson. Because I feel like we feel. There are about 200 folks that are watching the forum every day. They are doing that because somehow, some way they are being helped. Thats what this is about...
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Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2015 1:07:50 GMT 8
Unfortunately Annys is right in that it is a small community. But it is growing larger. Slowly but surely. BTW Annys, why just lurk? I am sure your experiences are and can be invaluable to someone else. Of course some of us have big mouths. The whole non binary thing is weird, unusual and special all at the same time. Most even in our community, the LGBT community that is, don't even understand the non binary aspect of transgender. Some do I'm sure but a lot from smaller towns really don't or can't comprehend the gist of the whole thing. So if we are both why not effeminate gays? Why not just butch lesbians? Why not totally MTF or FTM? Sometimes it feels like I am in the Twilight Zone. And then I think that maybe everyone else is in the Twilight Zone. You know, I don't identify with any of those labels and I walk the spectrum at will and I am full transition. But as to the whole gay straight thing, when I go to the gay meetings, its just a completely different energy there. And thats the only way I can put it. I know personally I belong here, and I am a nobinary transperson. Because I feel like we feel. There are about 200 folks that are watching the forum every day. They are doing that because somehow, some way they are being helped. Thats what this is about... Now this is just my experience with some gay friends from back home. One when I told him I was trans just seemed to assume that I was total MTF. He had no idea what non binary seemed to be. And he does a lot with the LGBT community back home. But the capital city is extremely small for a city. But it seems like one out of every four family members, blood and extended, are L, G or B and as far as I know I am the only T. I believe it is way easier to understand sex and sexual orientation than gender identification. I mean I can explain why I am Bi, hell I like both male and female and all in between. If I try to explain why I feel female inside, then what the hell can I say? I just do? It's who I am? It's what I feel? And then a lot of people from back home, like my friend seems to assume that I am just an effeminate gay guy, even though I go out of my way to be a slob as a guy. Add a little femininity then I start caring. Maybe I am just insane. That is why it feels sort of weird to me at times. As femme I am such a prima donna, hair and all. As a guy, just a slob in jeans and t shirts. This still confuses me immensely. I take such good care even adding a little femininity but if I have to be masculine, I just don't care. I don't even have a suit, but I do have some nice dresses. I don't have one pair of men's dress shoes but my closet has heels flats and wedges. But the really weird thing is that I can still feel female as male. Like I said, maybe I am crazy. But yeah. If one person at least finds some kind of self peace with feeling like they and we all do then that is a wonderous thing. Whether they sign up or not or whether they sign up and then don's say much. It's all good.
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Apr 25, 2022 14:56:39 GMT 8
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Annys
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Nov 26, 2014 8:33:00 GMT 8
November 2014
mina
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Post by Annys on Oct 21, 2015 12:14:15 GMT 8
BTW Annys, why just lurk? I am sure your experiences are and can be invaluable to someone else. Of course some of us have big mouths. The whole non binary thing is weird, unusual and special all at the same time. Most even in our community, the LGBT community that is, don't even understand the non binary aspect of transgender. Some do I'm sure but a lot from smaller towns really don't or can't comprehend the gist of the whole thing. So if we are both why not effeminate gays? Why not just butch lesbians? Why not totally MTF or FTM? Sometimes it feels like I am in the Twilight Zone. And then I think that maybe everyone else is in the Twilight Zone. I'm not actually sure, TBH. It's really hard for me to reach out to anyone except when it's desperate. I've always wanted to be able to help people, but usually I just don't know what to say. I'm pretty quiet IRL, too.
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guest@proboards.com
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May 17, 2024 9:49:05 GMT 8
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May 17, 2024 9:49:05 GMT 8
January 1970
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Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2015 17:49:42 GMT 8
Glad you're here.
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Jul 24, 2015 4:03:56 GMT 8
351
Mingma
Prefer she/her am fine with they, not so hip on he.
391
Jun 20, 2015 1:16:10 GMT 8
June 2015
minga
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Post by Mingma on Oct 21, 2015 20:53:58 GMT 8
BTW Annys, why just lurk? I am sure your experiences are and can be invaluable to someone else. Of course some of us have big mouths. The whole non binary thing is weird, unusual and special all at the same time. Most even in our community, the LGBT community that is, don't even understand the non binary aspect of transgender. Some do I'm sure but a lot from smaller towns really don't or can't comprehend the gist of the whole thing. So if we are both why not effeminate gays? Why not just butch lesbians? Why not totally MTF or FTM? Sometimes it feels like I am in the Twilight Zone. And then I think that maybe everyone else is in the Twilight Zone. I'm not actually sure, TBH. It's really hard for me to reach out to anyone except when it's desperate. I've always wanted to be able to help people, but usually I just don't know what to say. I'm pretty quiet IRL, too. Annys, The quiet ones are often those whose voice is thoughtful but whose demeanor is shy. When they do speak it is a good thing, when they remain quietly in the background they are learning and preparing. Reaching out when it is not desperate is the best way I know of to be able to reach out when disturbed or frightened. What you have to say matters always. Namaste, Ming
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May 17, 2024 7:30:26 GMT 8
4,666
Ativan Prescribed
8,479
Jan 9, 2015 10:22:46 GMT 8
January 2015
ativanprescribed
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Oct 22, 2015 1:31:53 GMT 8
A lot of what is posted is like slow moving conversations. Sure once in a while someone posts a comment that they blurt out in a way that is out of character for them, not the usual, but unless it is directly attacking someone without basis or explanation, it's taken in stride, we are very much allowed to just blow off steam here, sometimes it's a good place to do just that. You can always delete a post, and sometimes people do, but read through some topics and you'll find comments made like that are still right there, because it opened up something that others wanted to a dress as well. Really not much for rules, no mods and the real rule is the golden rule and even then, we don't hold to it sometimes. In other words, just like others have said, your input is going to be valuable to someone, somewhere, sometime. There are people though who are most comfortable lurking, and it really isn't even that, it's just reading and picking up on things of interest, nothing wrong with that at all. It's small, it's like people coming and going in a living room somewhere, regulars and some just passing through. It's like family and friends. You're here, you're family. Ativan
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Post by Deleted on Nov 17, 2015 1:34:26 GMT 8
Hi there. Wow...you have taken the words right out of my mouth. Weirdly I mirror all that you say! That's a lovely feeling for me as I have just joined here and your thread was my first read. It's so confusing eh? I too talk to my wife however...maybe it is a bit tougher on her than I think. I've asked my GP to refer my to a gender psychiatrist as my head is sooooo confused. And the energy this consumes is surely too much. Thank you for your post
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