The DES controversy - womb transitioning

[Deleted]

Diethylsylbesterol.  I believe it changed my skeletal, endocrine and central nervous system, gave me a testicular cyst, a predispositiong to gynocomastia, and screwed up my gender totally, making me born not fitting into the male and female societal world.

I fit the typical characteristics of a DES Son.  Right down to the mid 50's mtf transition, and being terrified of progression and the resulting loss of the male over time.

Wondering who else is DES trans, what it did to them, and what they know about this now illegal drug.

Blessings

Trinity Satin Joy

[Deleted]

Yeah, Trinity. I was born in '67 and my dad told me that my mom had vitamins to keep me from being yet another miscarriage for her. But yeah itty bitty titties. The whole finger deal, the fat to muscle ratio, the voice, no visible Adam's Apple and the whole psychological deal too. Does the DES have an effect on me being trans? I don't know. It's possible and would explain a lot but... What can we do? I was born and without it I may not have been which would have probably been better for me I think sometimes. But "F" it, I'm here now. Just another messed up situation I have to deal with. Just another messed up thing I have to face head on and not let this stupid assed society beat me down for. I thinkd if DES is the case, we got a raw deal. But I really ain't complaining though because I stand with both middle fingers held high to the world and tell them to "F" off. They will not beat me. They will not define me and if I don't fit. Well I still stand with both middle fingers held high to the world.

Not to mention I got felt up in jr. high more than a 10 dollar whore because the boys wanted to see what real titties felt like. Can't say I didn't enjoy it but I should have charged them. Being attracted to both guys and girls. Does it have to do with DES or sexual orientation? Really hard to say but the female side of me like guys whetehr cis or trans and the male side is more lesbian than anything with cisgirls or transgirls. 

I really can't say. But I'm not too unhappy with who I am right now. When the dysphoria comes it will be a different story for sure. But I guess whatever made me, me made me who I am. Yeha it sounds messed up. I may be messed up and probably am but I don't care. Way to old to care anymore. All I want is to live and love and be loved.  

[Patty]

There is a very good chance I am DES son also. My mother had several miscarriages before me and at the time I was born they were using it quite extensively and I also have most all the markers.The other part of the equation is a genetic one and I did find problems on my fathers side. The bottom line though is I am what I am and have accepted and embraced it and just moved on to a way more happy life. Patty

[TessaJames]

OK this is a late response but I get around slowly some days.  I am in the same boat.  I tried to find out if my long gone mom had DES as she also lost 2 kids before me but her records are sealed or destroyed.  Yes I had a lot of the markers too but there is nothing to be gained for me by the past and I am loving my new real life as a girl sort of person;-)

[Deleted]

Revisiting this thread.

Check out Wikipedia and the links underneath it.

Struggling with anxiety and I think there is a relationship. Actually I am fairly sure of it.

I have a chat with an insurance guy coming up about this stuff. I know for me its root cause of the way my mind works related to gender.

Any other comments at this point, specific to anxiety or depression and DES exposure?

[Deleted]

Yeah, revisiting too.

So I guess it all depends. DES might have saved a bunch of us from being miscarried fetuses. We may not be here otherwise. I do believe in reincarnation so I wish that I was a miscarried fetus. Then I can choose again. What is really fucked up is if I would have chosen to be a male again. I don't know what happens between or before life. So no that I am in my mid to late 40's, the male experience is almost over. With those that believe in single life incarnation, you may not be here if not for DES. I wouldn't. My mom told me she had a daughter and 3 miscarriages before me and 2 after so the odds weren't that good for me. My dad did mention "special vitamins" while my mom was pregnant. So..... I personally wish I would have been miscarried. But maybe not. If I have to live as a man, UGHHH.... then I tried but failed but I tried. So my next incarnation then I can be the real me in body and spirit. This keeps me away from suicide believe it or not. So to some of us, DES kept us from being a blood clot flushed down the toilet. For some of us it changed our whole outlook and perceptions of ourselves.

But what happened to the FTMs? DES was a synthetic form of Estrogen right? To keep the mother from having a miscarriage. So what happened to our brothers that they got flooded with Testosterone? If we were flooded with synthetic Estrogen, why are there FTMs. Yeah DES can explain the expanse between the number of MTFs and FTMs but it won't explain the whole ideal of transgenderism.

I think it is time to stop asking how but why. Why are we transgendered? Are we the next step in evolution? Are we more complete humans than most of the other people we share this world with. "Male and female he created them." Not male or female but male and female.

I wouldn't have minded being a miscarriage according to my beliefs. I could get on with my life instead of being stuck like I am now. If you believe in one incarnation then it probably saved your life. OMG I have cried many nights over spilled milk and the "imperfections" of my body. And the disconnect between my Psyche and body. But in the end. I am alive. Maybe a little crazy but still alive no matter how bad it hurts sometimes.

Even without DES I would have probably been trans. It is the albatross around my neck. I have to bear it.

[Deleted]

Insutance issue is being escalated by that guy I talked to. Didn't realize he was the ceo of an agency.

If I get covered, others might and thats a big NYC company. We need injections covered, all of it covered.

DES is supposedly clearly linked to depression and I would say anxiety too.

As to the one shot deal, my mom had 15 miscarriages. I dont see trans as a curse, in my current acceptance level I see it as a gift.

DES gives those born as women cancer. It kills them.

It does convert us at some levels, and not at others, leaving us to work with the process we are born into.

I am with you on the whole God thing with Adam. Obviously Eve was created from his rib. His DNA. Not her own DNA. Wonder if that started separation, many pics of angels are of androgynes.

But we totally digress here into forbidden territory, we can take that up elsewhere.

Why are we transgendered?

So we can love others and touch lives.

And I think there comes a time when we dont have to hurt anymore, other than social rejection. And their rejection is invalid, so why even consider a snub, they don't have a clue.

[Deleted]

Oct 21, 2015 9:35:30 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Insutance issue is being escalated by that guy I talked to. Didn't realize he was the ceo of an agency.

If I get covered, others might and thats a big NYC company. We need injections covered, all of it covered.

DES is supposedly clearly linked to depression and I would say anxiety too.

As to the one shot deal, my mom had 15 miscarriages. I dont see trans as a curse, in my current acceptance level I see it as a gift.

DES gives those born as women cancer. It kills them.

It does convert us at some levels, and not at others, leaving us to work with the process we are born into.

I am with you on the whole God thing with Adam. Obviously Eve was created from his rib. His DNA. Not her own DNA. Wonder if that started separation, many pics of angels are of androgynes.

But we totally digress here into forbidden territory, we can take that up elsewhere.

Why are we transgendered?

So we can love others and touch lives.

And I think there comes a time when we dont have to hurt anymore, other than social rejection. And their rejection is invalid, so why even consider a snub, they don't have a clue.

That is the way we should see it. We are whole humans. We are male and female just like our Creator.

But Dear, what about Lilith? That was Adam's supposedly first female partner.

When it comes to this it can be forbidden or we can be brave enough to ask the questions.

Supposedly Eve was created from one of Adam's ribs but Lilith, when you read ancient texts instead of the King James version of the Bible brings up some really interesting points. Lilith was her own woman. Not created from Adam but created alongside Adam and totally equal with Adam. Was Eve a Paternalistic society's answer for dominance for female to be subservient to the male? In the 1500's we were in a paternalistic society so what is actually true. Who was Adams wife. His equal partner or a subservient that came from his own body that all women should be thankful for the man? And if not for him and his rib we would not exist?

[Deleted]

Hey chick, launch in the spirituality thread and ill chat over there

☺